Arrogant, boastful and self-centered are just a few of the words that most use to describe the word "ego." Just saying the word makes many people cringe or feel guilty, thinking that they need to suppress that part of who they are. We're raised thinking that we'd be better people if we could just eliminate our ego. We've been taught that ego is something that we should tame, to be selfless rather than be perceived as selfish.
Interestingly enough, by definition, ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. It's also referred to as the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for determining reality and our own sense of personal identity. Ego is our personality and is what separates us one from the other.
Recently I was introduced to a great intuitive, Tara Taylor, who speaks about ego in a different way. Tara teaches that by loving our ego we can fully experience our humanity here on this earth. Instead of fighting what our ego is trying to say to us, embrace it, listen to it and from that, grow and learn.
After meeting Tara, I thought the best way to write about her was to experience her services. We talked for over an hour while Tara explained how our ego might bring up something that creates fear within us. From financial pressures to relationship dramas, ego can bring things that need healing to the forefront of our consciousness. When we have that fear in the pit of our stomach wondering how we're going to pay the mortgage payment, that's ego talking to us, offering us a choice of how to react.
I spoke with Tara about a specific real estate transaction I've been dealing with for the last year. She told me not to worry about it -- that it is already a done deal. She specifically told me that the approval would happen on the 18th.
In addition, she recommended that rather than pushing the ego into the background, ignoring the feelings and just plowing through life, I should listen to what the ego is saying. In fact, it's only when we listen that the feelings subside. By acknowledging what we're feeling rather than just trying to solve the problem, the insurmountable problem shrinks into a manageable size. And she was right.
Tara likens our ego to a small child having a temper tantrum. Just like when a child throws a tantrum, we don't stop loving the child, but we take the time to listen, embrace and the problem is gone. Our ego- and the fear and problems that it can create- are just looking for attention. Once recognized, the fear dissipates and we can get on with our life.
Tara teaches that the ego was created to give choice and perspective. The ego doesn't care if we follow its guidance or not, it just wants to be acknowledged, knowing that when it is heard, it has done its job. Just like the child throwing the tantrum isn't looking for much more than our attention.
When we start to listen to our inner dialogue, including the voice of our ego, we're better equipped to deal with the problems we've created. Our intuition becomes clearer and we grow with ease, believing that life doesn't have to be difficult.
When we can learn to love our ego rather than creating the resistance to push it away, we can then also begin to love our life. And as for the real estate transaction, the approval letter was waiting for me on Monday morning, the 20th ... just as Tara said it would be.