I was disappointed with the Benghazi hearings because I was hoping the Congressional committee would subpoena more celebrities.
Instead, it was eleven straight hours of Congressmen saying the same stuff over and over, taking only occasional breaks to fundraise. Oh, and Hillary Clinton had a front row seat.
Eleven hours is a long time. Heck, Birdman was only nine hours. And that won an Academy Award for Best Picture. What? It wasn't? Oh. Well, if felt like nine hours.
Before the horrible murders at the American embassy in Libya, almost nobody in America could tell you where Benghazi was located. Now, at least forty or fifty people can.
It's hard to blame Americans, though, for their lack of interest in the Benghazi story. For one thing, it's almost never covered on TMZ. But also, there's just not much too it. It's like how your high school social studies teacher tried to explain the reasons behind WWI, and eventually she just had to give up and say, "I don't know. I guess it just sort of happened."
Personally, I prefer my political scandals sexual. But even the most boring Washington scandal should be, at the very least, a scandal. The Benghazi attacks were hideous murders, in a dangerous and distant part of the world, carried out by Islamic militants. American military forces were unable to supersede in time. And four Americans were killed. That there is some debate over just how premeditated the attacks were does not seem reason enough to spend this many hours holding Congressional ranting sessions. Heck, if I wanted to watch a panel of self-righteous blowhards scolding a woman, I'd tune into America's Next Top Model.
Representatives Jim Jordan and Trey Gowdy received a lot of coverage for their fiery questions and for the fiery way they then answered their own questions. I don't why they called this a hearing. Jordan and Gowdy didn't seem to hear anything. This was more like a saying.
There are only three certainties in life: death, taxes, and that when Republican Party politicians want to embarrass their political opposition through televised hearings, they end up looking really, really bad. Oh, and also Wendy's always screws up your order. So four certainties.
Has the Republican Congress ever considered hiring a publicist? Maybe just get a part-time marketing guy, to remind them not to act like sanctimonious jerks when questioning their Democratic rivals. It tends to lower one's IQ rating. The Republicans' delusional perception of how they come across on television is sort of like the guys who send dick pics to women after a first date. It seems like a good idea at the time... but it doesn't end up helping your likeability... which is ironic since the Democrats are the ones who are literally sending dick pics.
At one point in the hearings, Alabama Representative Martha Roby got upset when Clinton laughed at the unintentional innuendo posed by Roby's question. "I don't know why that's funny," stated an indignant Roby, "... I don't find it funny at all." I mean, it's 2015 and we still have to deal with the sexist notion that women aren't funny. I'm surprised Jerry Lewis wasn't on the panel.
The Benghazi hearings have cost taxpayers millions of dollars. It's a TV show that nobody watches and nobody likes and yet they just won't cancel it. It's the America's Funniest Home Videos of political douchery. Except the American people are the ones getting hit in the crotch with a Wiffle ball bat.
Actually, a more interesting investigation would be to find out why Congressional hearings cost so much in the first place. Are they using some sort of super-expensive, high-intensity light bulbs? Though I can't say for sure, I'm pretty sure I can set up a table and a couple of chairs for around eight bucks.
Even Republicans have admitted that the Benghazi hearings were part of a strategy to hurt Hillary Clinton's Presidential campaign. And that's how the Republican Party honors four dead Americans- by turning the deaths into a political sideshow.
The Secretary of State has to deal with conflict in the Middle East, moderate our uneasy alliance with countries like Russia and China, and help to ease the "will they or won't they" romantic tension between Norway and Sweden. But the Secretary of State is not a security expert. That's not the Secretary of State's job. Nor should it be.
The Hillary Clinton Benghazi hearings were a complete waste of time. Heck, the Hillary Clinton Benghazi earrings were more thought-provoking than anything the Congressmen had to say. Whadda you think -- real gold?
Each day, I feel like I have less and less in common with the Democratic Party. And then I'll watch something like the absurd Republican Party-led Benghazi nonsense and realize, "Darn. I guess I'm stuck with the Democrats." Really, there's only one party I truly believe in -- Elton John's annual Oscar party. But I'm never invited.