THE BLOG
09/30/2008 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Why Sarah Palin Scares Me

Because she will remind people of Reese Witherspoon in "Legally Blond."

Because she will remind people of Kevin Klein in "Dave."

Because she will remind people of Geena Davis in "Commander in Chief" where Geena Davis was just supposed to help the guy get elected and then the guy died, and Geena Davis wouldn't resign, and she was a good president, better than Donald Sutherland even, who was the better actor. People still got tortured though.

Because of photo-ops with Huskies.

Dan Quayle.

Because I'm imagining Cuba Gooding Jr. in the Cabinet.

Because oil is a supporting character.

Because no one could be worse than George W. Bush as president so the argument that you don't have any experience gets weaker. The plumber could be better. Let's make a movie about it.

Because people like the Hollywood ending where the regular guy who is posing as President sits down at the kitchen table and balances the budget, or the sorority girl who comes out head of her class at Harvard Law and everyone cheers and is happy in the end.

Because if you pit Alaska against Hawaii, Alaska seems tougher.

Because she seems to have a bear draped over her couch.

Because somehow there is going to be subtext that pro-choice people faced with difficult
reproductive decisions don't often also make tough decisions toward life.

Because of the untruths of multiple story lines.

Because I smell Karl Rove.

Because First Vice-Dude sounds cooler than First Vice-Man.

Because she reportedly doesn't believe the first man evolved.

Ronald Reagan, Arnold Swarcheneggger, Jesse Ventura.

Because George Bush won in the first place.

Because Adlai Stevenson, when told every thinking American in the United States would vote for him, called out that he needed a majority.

Because he lost.