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In the midst of the recent Swine flu panic, most of us have been more careful than usual with our physical hygiene. We wash our hands more faithfully, cover our sneezes more correctly, avoid touching surfaces in public places and maybe worry more. We also have been humbled by how quickly and uncontrollably a pestilence can spread. Minus the unnecessary worry, these precautions are all good. Yet there is another pestilence that spreads just as quickly, largely goes unreported and causes much unnecessary suffering. And each of us plays a daily part its contagion.
As we all have realized to some degree at least, life is filled with pain as well as pleasure, suffering as well as happiness. Just as there are bound to be times when we are physically sick with a cold or something more serious, there are times when we are emotionally hurting.
Hopefully we are quick to protect both our loved ones and the general public when we have a physical infection. Who do we protect when we hurt emotionally? Do we even consider the possibility of keeping our emotional hurt contained, or is it allowed to randomly infect whomever we meet?
In a different age, or in some cultures today, we might have been taught to hide our feelings. Growing up in the 1950's, if a scowl showed up on my face I was quickly told to wipe it off. I would certainly never suggest we return to that mode of emotion control. Plus, it didn't work. I would still feel anger, or sadness and still find some way of expressing it, but now with a sweet smile masking my true feelings.
There is another, more honest and natural form of emotional hygiene. And similar to physical hygiene, we can learn to take responsibility for our own emotional suffering without spreading it to our loved ones and the general public.
The first step is to simply admit to ourselves when we are feeling emotionally bad. As in many physical discomforts, there is often a simple remedy. Do we need to take a walk? A break? A nap?
If the emotion is more complicated, do we need to clear the air with someone? Clearing the air is quite different from polluting the air with our emotions. Clearing the air requires first recognizing what we are feeling and then choosing to tend to it without spreading it.
Physical hygiene was a radical discovery, and for years many people resisted it at all levels of society. It perhaps seemed unbelievable to people at the time that something as simple as washing one's hands could have such beneficial effects.
Likewise, we can be wonderfully surprised to discover how simply cleaning up after-or during-an emotional attack can by itself spread a sense of well being for all.
Emotions, like viruses, can be quick to spread. Sometimes we are infected before we know it. Sometimes the emotion can seem so in control that we don't know how to begin cleaning up. Or like a recurring illness it just comes back. And we have to go to work, or get the kids ready, or make that call.
In the midst of the whirlwind of our daily lives, we can take a ten second break. We can choose to put our attention deep inside, under the emotion. We can release our attention from the narrative of who did what, or why something should or should not have happened. Under all the stories that relate to a particular emotion, there is just the vibration of the emotion itself. Without the usual accompanying story and judgment, the feeling can be simply, directly experienced. In this direct experience of emotional sensation, a startling discovery happens.
In this small amount of time you can discover what lives under all emotion: the undisturbed cleanliness of internal open space.
What follows may surprise you. Time may actually expand. Breath can come more freely. The opportunity to say what needs to be said may present itself. You are at peace with yourself and your emotions.
And if time continues to move too fast, and no opportunity to speak clearly has shown itself, you still will have come in contact with the peace at the core of yourself. This peace, like the negativity of physical or emotional infections, spreads.
What do you want to spread?
What are you spreading?
For an infectious moment, watch this popular YouTube, and spread it if you can!
Gangaji is holding a silent retreat at Lake Tahoe June 7-12 and will be touring Europe this summer. Read more about Gangaji's events and catalog of books and videos online.
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How true. At work, I find it a good practice to stop from time to time. For example, a few seconds pause during a heated IM session can help myself to cool down and find fresh approach to the issue at hand. And what we're spreading also comes back to us ;)
Loved the video!
Hey Gangaji. So happy to read you are blogging. Watched the video. Couldn't help myself. Just had to laugh :).
Dear Gangaji, I’m filled with gratitude for the infinite transmission of love and wisdom that outpours you. In serving love you provide so graciously commanding tremendous respect. Since I'm not into being stoned to death as a rule, I love hearing how you manage in daily living. Love to All Karie On
Wow! Gangaji is blogging! To paraphrase Spike Lee; by an means available.
FLASH! Text message from Ramana - U go grl!
May all being awaken to its true self.
Om shanti, shanti, shanti.
"Emotions, like viruses, can be quick to spread. Sometimes we are infected before we know it...What do you want to spread? What are you spreading?"
The generally accepted mode of conversation is to spread the negativity...the gossip...the judgment...the fear...the sadness that we all feel. It is so very radical to stop, really stop, and recognize the infinite peace that you are and consciously choose to spread That! Perfect!
Really great to see you blogging : )
Love Always - Jill
Thank you for this reminder to take full responsibility for my own emotions, so they do not spread. AND to take a moment to recognize the peace at the core of every single circumstance. It occurs to me that this is the most helpful way I can participate in our global "financial recovery plan"!
Love loves love.
M.
lol. I see! How infectious laughter is...:D I love your posts gangaji. I've falling into that open, clear space underneath it all..thoughts, emotions..i don't know if words can describe the beauty of that place..but mostly it seems it's all surface storms for me..dropping the story is so simple but so hard...thank you for this and for your postings here ...and for the reminder to take a second(or ten) to just stop and go deeper and see the truth present...thank you so much gangaji.
It's especially a good idea to be reminded of this in the context of the internet. It's exciting, Gangaji, to see you bringing this message to a larger audience!
Thank you, Gangaji.
A timely (and timeless) message.
What a “radical” idea… I think what you are saying is, what if we always endeavored to bring the best of ourselves to the world, and in particular, to those we love? - to actually accept that responsibility? To not add to the pollution of the psychic airwaves with negativity? To not justify why it is OK, to simply make it personally unacceptable?
There is such a broad range of human potential. Why not bring the highest and brightest of it instead? We do have a choice to help instead of harm; that choice is made every moment, in every circumstance.
Thank you for the reminder. Hope to see you soon. Love, Tina E.
Thank you Gangaji for this wonderfully clear piece on emotions. And for all that you bring to the world. Love, K H
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