What We Can Learn By Not Speaking The Language

People who have the industry and intelligence to learn to speak and understand languages other than their own are to be admired and emulated. Their lives and those whose languages they speak are enriched for it.

I am not one of those people, and I'm not proud of that fact, but I have recognized a real pleasure in sometimes having no idea what people are saying. I have discovered a special relaxation, uninterrupted by specific meaning, just being with people in cafes and other public meeting areas. I am able to listen to their languages and delight in the sounds without being distracted by trying to decipher nuance of meaning, judgment of worth of their conversation or agreeing or disagreeing with their opinions.

Listening and watching people without understanding what they are saying is like listening and watching other animals. I can read about bird song and what it communicates to other birds, but to my ears it just sounds wonderfully musical. Taking time to listen to bird song is very pleasant and nourishing, and I suspect it would be less so if we knew what every song was declaring. Just being in nature without deciphering meaning is balm for the soul. And I do include human nature in "nature."

Perhaps our too familiar discomfort with other same-language humans arises from the illusion that we really do speak the same language. We don't. We can refer to authorities for definitions of commonly used words, but our inner authority is finally in charge when determining how we choose to interpret others' words. And that often gets us frustrated, misunderstood, unseen, and speaking louder as a way to get through the fog of mis- interpretation.

Does this happen to other animals? Probably. Maybe that's why birds spend so much of their time singing. But since we aren't involved in the bird's attempt to make itself understood, we can just enjoy the sound.

We can occasionally just enjoy the sound with each other too. And we can even do it when we share a common language. The trick is not to assume that you actually know what the others are saying. You can step back from the meaning. There is a bigger perspective available when you aren't determined to know exactly what someone is saying or have them know what exactly what you are saying. It is possible to experience each other from the heart center rather than the language center.

Language is one of the most thrilling powers of being human. It is day-to-day practical as well as exultant in its heights. We can all benefit from learning and discovering how to use language more clearly. As fellow human beings, it is intelligent to learn each other's language. It brings us closer together as cultures and as individuals. And it is likewise intelligent to realize that we often use the same words with utterly different personal meanings. Couples learn this as they get through misunderstandings, business colleagues benefit when they take the time to clarify each other's meanings. Nations are more likely to meet in some degree of harmony if they respect the different weights of power each holds in the same words.

Yet there is another, sweeter power available to us all, regardless of how many words we know. It starts in the heart and is effortlessly spoken through the eyes. It is what is here when no word will do. Simply, in an instant, we can freshly discover our capacity to understand with this wordless communication. And in that understanding, we meet what is best in us all, wherever we find ourselves, whatever we think we know or don't know.

Sometimes, just for perspective, take a break and hear the music.

Gangaji will hold her next public meeting in Ashland, Oregon, August 16th. She will be in Boston for a public meeting September 12th and Woodstock, for a public meeting September 14. She will hold a seven day retreat in Garrison, NY beginning September 16th. Read more about Gangaji's events and catalog of books and videos online.

Comments

[paiger]

Love it. True phenomenological living. You're a closet Gestaltist Gangaji, you know that right? ;-) Paige

[danbaumbach]

...take a break and hear the music.

That says it all.

[mbeyder]

That which is described, using a laguage is not the description. Only forms can be described, formless can not. The mind is looking for a meaning, it can not possess, using a language. At best, words can point to the truth, but are not the truth, themselves. Our lives are written, using a stick on a surface of the water.

Я
Жил был когда-то организм.
Подходит к нему клоп.
Клоп говорит,
Ты тоже клоп?
Кто клоп?
Я, это не клоп!
А, что есть Я?
Я, мысль, идея из ума.
А где есть Я?
Я, только есть в уме.
Понятия и мысли о себe.
Так Я, на самом деле нет.
Придумал Я, эго.
Где было Я, как много лет?
Где будет завтра, для чего?
Кому доказывает Я,
Что существует не напрасно
Кто видит Я, как есть оно?
Кому об этом Я, всё ясно?
Кому врёт, Я?
Кого боится?
Кто причиняет ему боль?
Что хочет Я?
Кому Я снится?
И если его нет,
Кто есть, вообще?
Кто, кроме Я?

[Karie]

Dear Gangaji, Thank you for forever widening the doorway to truth love and light. I am so glad you’re here. In respect to what you say about language, I just want to say: twiddle dee tweet tweet! Translation: I love you so much! Love to All, Karie On

[Zoe Johanna]

I was at your breathtakingly wonderful retreat in Dorset, and there were a couple of people who I think really didn't speak a word of English and they were there, with us as One, receiving the same wisdom, the same look of recognition, love and freedom in their eyes. It was so beautiful to experience that.

I had a boyfriend who was Spanish and he didn't speak English and I didn't speak spanish, it was one of my happiest relationships! We went deeper, it was very relaxed. Like at the retreat when we all got to know each other in a week of complete silence, we knew each other, we got to know each other, but without words. So beautiful.

Whatever happened to me last week on the retreat is continuting to reverberate through me, it is expanding and deepening, everything has changed, is changing. I can say that for the first time in my life, I love myself. Thank you Gangaji, for being You.

[Steve Kaufmann]

I have learned to speak 11 languages. The most effective way, for me, is to begin by listening, and for a long time. I have been learning Russian now for three years, on my own, and mostly I have listened and read. Traditional language teaching destroys the confidence of learners by trying to force them to speak and get things right before they are ready. I have a blog on language learning called The Linguist on Language.

[mikeyb1943]

Actually Rumi said "silence is the language of God". I chose to substiute the word love.
Michael

[mikeyb1943]

Not too long ago while attending satsang with Eli I began to notice that the words I had been listening to for years were beginning to get in the way so I just sat and listened without any definition of what it was I was hearing. I found that in this way the connection between speaker and hearer was heart to heart and not lips to ear. It's something like sitting quietly on a rock beside a babbling creek. I have also had the most wonderful connection with toddlers who had not mastered the language but never the less wished to engage in conversation. With thumbs smartly hooked into the straps of his overalls the toddler would wax poetic on a number of themes as I listened intently, now and then adding my own comment. I had no idea what language this little guy was speaking but I had a wonderful time connecting with him. Silence is the language of love, all else is pale translation - Rumi.

[BarbaraShepard]

I recently watched a documentary of two friends circling the globe on motorcycles. Their language skills in foreign countries were inadequate at best, but what was thrilling to observe was the universal ability to communicate ~ astounding actually and far more rewarding to 'make your point' without words at all!
We share so much without words anyway ~ if you keep language out of it we are all so much more alike than different! The heart knows what words cannot say.......­..Love unending..­......:o)