Timing is everything, or so they say. I never believed in that saying because I used to think that you made your own destiny and if you wanted something badly enough, you could get it if you dedicated enough time and energy to the situation. However, listening to my friend's stories and thinking back on my own experiences, I have realized that timing is the most important ingredient to determining the potential viability of a relationship. I understand that there are other determining factors, but in the end, if it's not the right time, then there isn't much you can do to control the situation. For example, last week I had what my date himself described as an "epic" first date. I walked away feeling like this one could really amount to something, but then I left town and somewhere along the next 48 hours, I got booted. What happened you ask? Sigh. Bad timing happened.
I met Mr. Epic First Date online. Our first date was nothing fancy, but then again, it didn't need to be. I'm the kind of girl that you could take anywhere as long as you're good company. He was at the bar when I arrived, and I was excited to see that he was just as adorable in person as he was on the phone. From the moment we sat down, to the minute he put me in a cab to go home, there was not one awkward moment. We laughed and joked our way through the night, and I walked away thinking that this was easily one of the best first dates I have ever had. We had so much in common, the chemistry was electric, and did I mention that he brought me gummy bears? He did. Apparently, in my profile I had said something about having a weakness for gummy candy, and so he brought me gummy bears wrapped with a bow. Adorable, I know. He asked to see me again and I told him that I was going out of town, but we would hang out when I was back. He jokingly told me not to go, and for an instant, the thought crossed my mind, but then I snapped back to reality and gave him a kiss to change the subject. In the cab on my way home I received a text message that read, "Best. First. Date. Ever." I responded in kind and he said, "I can't deny that I'm into you." As far as I was concerned, all systems were a go and there was no doubt in my mind that I had knocked this one out of the park.
The next day I headed to New York for the weekend as planned to support my friend Jodie in her first half marathon (She crushed it by the way. I'm so very proud of her!), and to escape Chicago for a little adventure with my friends. While I was telling the gang about my date the night before, as if on cue, I received a text message from him saying, "Your eyes are one of the top hundred things I like most about you." Swoon. That was followed up with a text Saturday night saying, "What are you up to Friday? I'd love to take you out again."
OK, so before we go any further, let's just go back over this one more time to make sure I'm not on glue here because up until now it sounded as if things couldn't be going any better, right? Review: 1) "Epic" first date, 2) "I'm into you" 3), "Your eyes are one of the top hundred things I like most about you," and 4) We had a date lined up for Friday. I'm not crazy, right? This seemed to be going really well! Yeah, don't get ahead of yourselves... this is my dating life after all.
The other shoe dropped this morning when I got an email from him that basically said that on Saturday he had a second date with someone, and ended up spending the entire weekend with her and feels compelled to see it through. Then closed by saying he was sorry to have to cancel on Friday and that I'm an amazing woman.
Huh? I mean, I totally agree with the amazing woman part (I'm very modest), but other than that, I was lost. Really? A second date? Who decides that they aren't going to see someone again when you have only had a second date? A little premature, no? Yes, that's what I thought, too. As you know, holding my tongue isn't one of my strongest qualities, so I posed the question just as I posed it to you readers and he responded, "I guess I'm a little old fashioned that way. If I am sleeping with someone, I feel like I shouldn't be seeing anyone else." Then he said that he thought I might be right about making a premature decision and said, "If things don't work out with her and I, do you think we can pick up where we left off?" I responded with my favorite When Harry Met Sally line and said, "I'm not your consolation prize."
Honestly? What girl would respond to that question with a positive answer? Did he expect me to say, "Oh sure, I'd love to be your second choice. I would love nothing more than to know that you chose me only after things didn't work out with the first girl." Furthermore, since when did sleeping with a girl on a second date constitute as "old fashioned?" Just saying...
After that last exchange, I got to thinking, would things have turned out differently if I didn't go away this weekend? Would we have had a second date, which would have made him not want to see the other girl again? If I had been around, would he not have stayed over the other girl's house because we would have had a date the next day? Does he know how good I am in bed? So many questions, so little time, yet all have the same bottom line (well, except the last question): timing. Life is all about timing and ours was clearly off by a weekend... and a hot night of "old fashioned" sex.