The first time I met a group of children who were laying down to sleep in their worn and soiled clothes I saw their tears and I heard their sobs. I have never forgotten that night and that memory both haunts me and spurs me on. No child should be tossing and turning in bed in too-tight old and dirty jeans. No child should cry herself to sleep feeling alone in the dark. No child deserves to be afraid at night because tomorrow she is being transferred to another "new place."
The children we serve are often shuffled from one place to another. They are never prepared for another transition, more upheaval, one more trial home. We are not privy to the personal details about any of the children we send pajamas and books to. We read with some of them for an hour, we get to see others on some of our visits or deliveries, but we'll never meet most of them. "Where will they go next?" is the question I have for these kids every day. When we make a delivery to a group home or a shelter, we are never told which children will be leaving tomorrow and why. When we open the doors to our Reading Centers we never know what's currently happening in the lives of the children walking in.
"Is she OK today?"
"Has he been abused?"
"Has someone she trusted betrayed her?"
"Is he living with strangers ... maybe someone new? "
"Is she afraid? Lonely?"
"Do they cry themselves to sleep at night?"
That last question sends a knife through my heart.
All the answers to my "Where will they go next?" question could fill dozens of blogs. And each answer would beg more questions and maybe even debates among child welfare advocates. Thankfully, many good people spend long days and nights working to make these transitions easier for the children.
I'll never know the answer to "Where will they go next?" for every child we see or send pajamas to. But if we could just hear an encouraging answer to my first question, "Is she OK today?" maybe we can believe there is hope that child is in good hands, loving hands. Maybe we can be hopeful if the answer is,
"She is better today."