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Geoffrey Dunn

Geoffrey Dunn

Posted: November 26, 2008 06:57 PM

Georgia on Her Mind....But Sarah Palin Has Trouble Lurking Around the Corner


Georgia, Georgia, no peace I find...
--Ray Charles

No sooner had she committed to hunkering down in Alaska to "get back to work," the Last Frontier's rogue governor, Sarah Palin, is headed back to the campaign trail again, first to Georgia, where she will stump for the Great White Hope of the GOP, Saxby Chambliss, in a last ditch effort to stave off a filibuster-proof U.S. Senate. Then she's off to Pennsylvania, where her press flunkies are claiming she's meeting with President-elect Barack Obama, but it's hardly a one-on-one; Palin will be in Philadelphia amongst a horde of other governors from both parties gathered by the National Governors Association.

That of course would be the same Barack Obama whose character Palin ruthlessly assassinated throughout the presidential campaign and at whom she directed inflammatory rhetoric to the point that chants of violence were directed against him. The same Obama whom Palin called a socialist and a pal of terrorists and who-knows-what other lies from the kitchen sink she and her hack Republican speechwriters fabricated along the way. The same Obama who Palin said "is not a man who sees America as you and I do."

The very same Obama who will now have to pull Palin's ass (along with the rest of her faith-based faithful) out from the economic cataclysm wrought by the evangelical George Bush and his faith-based plunderers in Washington, all of whom should be doing hard time for the crimes they've committed against the American people in the name of God and Country.

Yes, the very same Barack Obama. Or, as her long-forgotten running mate put it, "That one."

Palin will be in Georgia spewing out the same lies and preying on the same fears, only with the added caveat that Chambliss represents the last best hope against a Communist Congress and a Communist Administration. We're talking a Comintern, folks. You can bet that Palin will be snarling those notorious fangs of hers as she cavorts through the red clay hills and into the backwoods of Augusta and Savannah--and that Hannity and O'Reilly will be watching the raw footage well into the wee hours. With their doors locked.

I'd like to say that redneck is as redneck does, but I don't want to insult my redneck friends who earned that sobriquet the hard way--by pounding down cases of shitty beer and cheap whiskey and working 40-hour weeks for twenty-odd years so that they could lose their hard-earned pensions to the GOP's lap dogs on Wall Street. Palin isn't really a redneck, she's, you got it, a career politician who's sucked at the public trough for most of the past two decades. She even pulled down $130,000 a year as the chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission, to which she was appointed by the thoroughly corrupt Frank Murkowski. She's done plenty of bidding behind closed doors for the oil companies, all while her hubby Todd has pulled in a fat pay-check from British Petroleum on the North Slope. She's a faux redneck at best. It's all blush and powder.

In fact, Palin's never held down a real job in her life. She was busted in her twenties for padding her resume and from that point on it's been political payola. As for her fiscal skills, the one business she and Todd ran back in the 1990s, well, they ran it right into the ground. They developed a bad reputation for shitty service and no follow-through. So Palin jumped on the government gravy train.

You betcha.

In Georgia, Palin probably won't have to live down her recent Turkeygate incident nor David Letterman's Top Ten List for Turkey Slaughter. And of course, she's betting on the front-runner in Chambliss, who holds a narrow lead over his Democratic opponent, Jim Martin, and who's hoping for a low turnout from Georgia's black voters come Election Day. Me, I like the underdog plus-three, but Sarah's gambling on a little political redemption. A lot of Republicans are whispering that she lost the election. The girl is carrying some heavy baggage.

But unless she runs into an unforeseen turkey ranch or a Georgia slaughterhouse, Palin's not likely to hit too many snags in the Peach State. She might, however, have some trouble facing her in Philadelphia. The word on the street is that her fellow GOP governors didn't take to kindly to her hogging the spotlight at their recent convention in Florida. And only yesterday, Republican Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina laughed nervously when asked if he thought Palin represented the "future" of the Republican Party. Could be damn near as frosty in Philly as it is in Wasilla.

And when she returns from Pennsylvania (her trip to the governor's conference is being paid for by the citizens of Alaska), Palin has some serious trouble facing her in the eye. A bipartisan coalition of angry political activists anchored down in Anchorage is now demanding that the Alaska Legislature follow-up on the findings of its special investigator who found that Palin had, in fact, breached he state's Ethics Act in her handling of Troopergate.

Moreover, Alaskan political watchdog Zane Henning, from Palin's hometown of Wasilla, also just received word today from the state's Personnel Board that they are in receipt of his complaint that Palin violated the same Ethics Act by conducting non-state business (television interviews that focused on her future political aspirations) in state offices. "I'm worried about the ethical and economic future of our state," said Henning, an oil industry worker and self-described fiscal conservative. "I see her as being profusely dangerous to both."