I knew she was going to talk to me today. I knew she'd have something to say. My mother passed away two years ago on Mother's Day weekend. It hurts, but I also consider it a special honor -- with her death, she emphasized what her life was about: motherhood, raising a family.
I had an appointment downtown, but before catching the subway, I would stop in to church, her church, to say a prayer to the Blessed Mother, whom she adored. As I got ready to go to Our Lady of Perpetual Help I felt sad. I heard mom say, "Don't make this about being hurt. I'm not sad. And you shouldn't be either." Yeah, she was talking already. Before leaving the house, I was inspired to bring some paper so I could write it all down. I put my blue book in my blue bag and left.
After locking up, I didn't feel right. I went back to the house for my hat. Looked in the mirror, adjusted the brim and I heard: "There, now you look like something." Mom again. As I walked toward church, I said to her that I'll do the hat with no problem, but she would never get me to wear a girdle. "Gerardette, dear, I gave up trying to get you to wear the 'proper foundation' a very long time ago."
My trip to church would be quick, I'd drop by and say a prayer at the Chapel to the Blessed Mother. It was on the 59th street side, which I walked past. Instead, I went around to the 60th street side, the entrance to the Basilica that we used growing up. In fact, I stood in front of my old house and walked across the street, dodging cars and school buses. I wanted to make the same journey mom made daily to attend 6:10 a.m. mass. Later, she would tell me and my siblings how it was only through the help of the Holy Spirit she received at Mass that got her through some of the toughest years raising nine children.
As I walked down the long vestibule, and opened the door to the lower church, I was heading to the Blessed Mother on the other side, but I turned to another chapel, the one with the St. Joseph statue holding the baby Jesus. It's here I would get mom's message.
I lit a candle and then mom starting talking to me on behalf of the dads of the world. Here's what she said:
Say a prayer for the fathers. (Surprise!) Yes, it's the fathers who need help in your world. They are confused about what it means to embrace the feminine.
I can tell you it does not mean buying panties for your sexy loved ones. I can tell you it does mean making sure your wife and children have clean clothes to wear, making sure your loved ones have the support and courage necessary to help them put their best foot forward.
Yes, Gerardette, so many men are so confused about what it means to embrace the feminine. It means bringing more of your heart into your work and your home and your social lives. It means calculating the balance between what you want and what others need. It means bringing joy to those around you -- because you are so full of joy yourself, you could do nothing else but share it.
I see so much now and know so much more.
Yes, you came to honor Mother Mary. You honor her by helping the men meet her and know her and even, dare I say it, emulate her.
Gerardette, share this on your "space book." Oh, how we laugh here. We're all here.
And Everyone says hi! Tell the world that we all say hello and honor you and are here to help each and every one. Just ask. In the asking, it is given.
All my love and prayers,
Mom
xoxo
Well, dads, that's my mom. Love her to death, but she does have a tendency to think she has all the answers. Well, now that she's teaming up with the higher ups in heaven .. maybe she does.
God bless the moms, dads and our beloved children. Keep them safe. And God bless you!
Here's mom in our last photo shoot with a few of her favorite things: Fall foliage, the Blessed Mother, and big sunglasses. While we "speak" often, I miss her presence every day.
