Christmas Betrayals

On a snowy night in Toronto way back in 1982, my then-wife took me to see Harold Pinter's Betrayal. It didn't help us settle the question of who had began the string of infidelities that would soon culminate in a mutual mercy-killing of our ill-conceived and extremely brief union. But it did awake in me a deep admiration for Harold Pinter's courage as a writer.

Betrayal used the tawdry stuff of a sexual affair with Lady Antonia Fraser made public by Pinter's then-wife, Vivien Merchant. Deftly. Beautifully. Timelessly. The play creates a memorable portrait of guilty people helplessly re-remembering their pasts to accommodate their fundamental need for self-acceptance and self-justification.

Reflecting on Pinter's gift, I imagined it might be his early experience as the stage actor David Baron that enabled him to examine humiliating and painful experience in such honest detail in so many plays. But there was nothing besides Pinter's raw talent to account for the standard of writing he achieved in Betrayal. Antonia Fraser -a total 'babe' in her day-- summed up their 33 years together yesterday saying it was a "privilege" to live with such a man.

Reading Pinter over the years made me believe that the moral need to rationalize our actions is even more deeply entrenched in fallible humans beings than sexual attraction. A dishonest President has to tell himself he is serving a higher power, but the jihadi murderer believes something very similar. Incompetent CEOs of car companies feel their industry is vital to the economy. Greedy mortgage brokers tell themselves they're offering houses to poor people.

When, however, they are eventually exposed, the magnitude of our failings prevent us from accomplishing further life-saving rationalizations, and shame overwhelms us. Sometimes we resort to destructive courses: his marriage ruined, a man dresses in a Santa suit and kills relatives at a family party before killing himself; OR overwhelmed with the responsibility of ruining his clients financier Thierry Magon de La Villehuchet also kills himself.

I'm flattering myself now that I understand M. de La Villehucet's death. What I don't understand is the shamelessness of the man he -and so many others-- trusted, Bernard Madoff. I also don't understand America's other scoundrel-of-the-month, Rod Blagojevich. Both of these are automatons to me, remorseless machines capable of betraying any trust in order to fulfill their need.

I wonder at the strength of their addictions to greed and power. Alone, late at night, what is it that they tell themselves? And without suicide or Harold Pinter's gifts, how will they ever overcome the self-loathing and self-examination that follow failure like a hungry dog?

Comments

[Stilts9]

This is an excellent piece of writing and thought.

I....I.....think I learned something.

[gilesslade]

well, thank you and puh-leeze! come again!

[ifeather]

Sorry for the typo. I meant to write Good instead of God.

[ifeather]

Nice, very nice. Thanks Mr. Slade. God to see and read another thinking human being.

[gilesslade]

Thank YOU. I'm checking back in after spending a week in San Francisco with my family. I missed your comments but do appreciate them. Usually I post these things and noone responds. Makes me wonder sometimes if I'm just doing it for vanity.

[Clavis]

"And without suicide or Harold Pinter's gifts, how will they ever overcome the self-loathing and self-examination that follow failure like a hungry dog?"

The most evil people are people who can sociopathically ignore, avoid or rationalize away any self-examination.

Fascinating article. Thank you, Mr. Slade.

[gilesslade]

Well again, thank you for taking time to read it. Being a compulsive writer is a dull labor sweetened only by readership.

[GrainOSand]

Physical life amounts to a collection of moments strung over a span of time. One is born, and from that moment until transcendence, a life is considered -- in process. History comes to bear on life based on the circumstances into which a given life is born. History may influence based on region of the world, neighborhood, household, or mother and father...as collection of moments of time -- leading in time -- to the manifestation of offspring -- "The You".

Naughty and nice are year-round concepts. Goodwill towards all people is not a once a year consideration.

Time is how we humans have organized ourselves. We get up at the right time, take the steps in the time allotted to get ready to spend time traveling to work, so that we will be on time to work the required amount of time, that earns money -- which buys us time to spend doing things that do not require us to keep track of time, which is called vacation, leisure time, or happy hour.

Time runs out. The physical life has beginning and end. The filler is the collection of moments. The history that comes to bear is the unique circumstances and challenges of physical life that all must meet, or sadly, succumb to in living. A desire for legacy is a non sequitur. Tolls are paid in the now. Love is now or never. Christmas is 365 or it is never.

Happy Everyday and Merry Moments to all!

[Buffyboy]

This article has great style and perspective. It made me think.

[wadenelson1]

Agreed.

[terramartom]

When the human race places Greed, Wealth, and Money at the top of the family values list, this is what you get? Is this so difficult to rationalize? These selfish concepts are taught at the best of our Institutions of higher learning, TV, the Movies and in every prison!

[RPLinNYC]

I'm more disturbed about America's scoundrels-of-the-century: Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld.

[gilesslade]

My crystal ball is quite cloudy on this issue, but I do see investigations and criminal proceedings in the future. There are some unexplained deaths of people opposed to the Iraqi war that will need investigating, and then there is the matter of unlawful detention and torture. Let's see how powerful the constitution is and how long it takes to realize American justice. I have hope.

[gilesslade]

An error, of course, in paragraph one. There should be no 'had' in sentence two. My apologies.

I just read that Eartha Kitt also died today. 2008 has taken too much from us.

[MsCanadian]

Excellent article Giles. Regarding the error, my normally sharp editorial eyes missed that one - thought you wrote "had begun." Not only do we rationalize our beliefs and justify our actions, but apparently make assumptions when reading, LOL!

[gilesslade]

Yes we do. Most of reading is not really reading, it's guessing what going to come next based on our statistical experience of what has come next in the past. So when you read you're really anticipating and often you, me, we, miss the real signal in favor of the one that should appear. Anyway, my thanks for your patience and your comments.