Want to annoy the man in your life both instantly and profoundly? Want to make him wish he lived alone in the Fortress of Solitude or back in the one-room apartment he had when you first met? Say any of these well-known phrases on a regular basis to your husband (or boyfriend).
1. Tell me again: Why do you have to be friends with her if you don't have feelings for her anymore?
2. We need to talk. There's something I have to tell you and I've been thinking about how to say this for days.
3. I might have thrown it away; I don't remember.
4. That's not where my clitoris is and, umm, anyway, that's not how it's pronounced.
5. Maybe I'd understand more about your work if you made the effort to explain it to me.
6. Well, it made me and my friends laugh so I thought you'd enjoy it too. Why do you have to roll your eyes like I have no sense of humor?
7. A wittle baby-tawkie-walkie never hurt a big boy like you, you cutie nobbly-wobbly. Who cares if we're in a bar?
8. Just admit it, your mother and sister don't like me.
9. Don't you know what today is?
10. How can they make you uncomfortable? It's not like they're hitting on YOU.
11. I'm not saying we ever will move in together or get married, but if we do, I know I'd like this tablecloth.
12. Of COURSE I think your band/writing/animation/poetry/photography/idea for an app is good.
13. How many people have you been with, anyway?
14. Come look at this hilarious thing about Ryan Gosling.
15. Why does it bother you how I spend my money? You spend all your money on stuff that I think is a waste of time.
16. Which of my friends would you sleep with if I died?
You thought it was just women who found certain phrases annoying? (Yeah, right.)