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Gina Ryder

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How A Blind Priest Taught Me To Speak

Posted: 06/13/2012 6:09 am

I wasn't expecting a priest to equip me for life but he did. It started on the first day of theology class in catholic high school in Pennsylvania.

My theology teacher was a blind priest. In our discussion-based religion course, he identified students by the sound of their voices. Like many high school girls, I was an upspeak offender. When I talked out loud in class, everything had the spoken equivalent of an ellipsis or a question mark on the end of it.

My impression of this cassock-wearing-magnifying-glass-carrying clergy was a cross between an amused version of fear and complete bewilderment. In high school, I was pretty quiet. I liked to read and write. I even had an interest in religion. His class was supposed to be a breeze. Yet even the space itself was tough to wrap my head around. The priest loved ships. The classroom was decked out in nautical paraphernalia. The hall pass was in the shape of an anchor.

In an effort to prepare us for life, the priest would halt discussion until his students pronounced statements with periods, often having us repeat things over and over until they sounded authoritative.

If I sounded nervous in his class, it's because I was. Class discussion had to be spoken self-assuredly but that wasn't the priest's only demand. He insisted that our names be said with extra confidence. Before participating, you announced your name so the priest knew who was speaking. If you didn't say your name with power, the priest made you try again. And again.

When I was 16, the last thing I wanted to do was say my name with power in a room full of eye rolling sophomores. It wasn't that I was particularly shy or insecure, but I used upspeak to prevent myself from sounding like the theology-loving dork that I really was. Upspeak helped me blend in to the attitude of apathy that some high school students often revert to for social safety. Mostly my tone revealed what I had picked up subliminally through teen pop culture - that being liked was more important than sounding smart.

My teenage battle with upspeak happened long before the NY Times analyzed the vocal trend of high rising tone by painting young women as vocal trendsetters for knowing how to signal likeable social cues. Yet the priest wasn't concerned with any of that. He told his students that one day, they would be interviewing for an important job and if they didn't say their name with authority, they wouldn't get hired.

In the years to follow, I thought of him on job interviews and in everyday introductions where I say my name out loud with a period just like he insisted I do.

When I contacted him years later to say thank you for all of the solid name-saying practice, he told me his slogan is "down with upspeak". When I asked him where his personal campaign against speaking with a question mark came from, he said, "Since I do not pick up on facial expressions, I rely more heavily on vocal inflections. Most people, I think, are influenced by vocal intonations but do not realize it."

I recently remembered an actual assignment from his class. Our big paper was to write a reaction for a volunteer project. Using Bible verses, we had to illustrate the deeper meaning of service. When the priest got to my name in the stack of graded papers, I cringed when he asked where I was. Sighing, I braced myself for more speech workshop madness. When he got to my name, he said, "Your paper had my reader in tears."

He had an employee read student papers out loud for him so he could grade them. I don't remember what I wrote about but I do remember pouring my heart into it like I usually did with that sort of stuff. When he passed along that whatever I had written made an adult male cry, I was flattered. However, what he said didn't really resonate until I put all the pieces together as an adult who is starting to write about faith for a living. Not only did he teach me how to speak, but he also encouraged me to find my voice - something both the priest and I needed to find in order to make our way in this world.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MrHomerS
Mmmmm...purple
01:39 PM on 06/22/2012
And thanks for a positive article about a priest. I am friends with two wonderful priests and it hurts to see priests constantly disparaged by others because a small number of them do very horrible things.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MrHomerS
Mmmmm...purple
01:37 PM on 06/22/2012
What a great story. It really made me think. I'm 45 and rarely ever say my name with confidence...as if I don't have a right to do so.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Gina Ryder
Community Editor
12:17 PM on 06/30/2012
Hi! Thanks so much for commenting. I'm concerned about how you feel about your name. I encourage you to start right now by saying it with authority. Doesn't have to be too intense. Just say it really solid. Best wishes!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
quilltr
04:17 PM on 06/16/2012
Reading this gave me goosebumps.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jgamble28
ya never know.
03:52 PM on 06/16/2012
I went to a Lutheran school from 1st grade to fifth grade. I loved the teachers they were so loving and they really cared. My father died and I then had to go to public schools and I never felt the love and caring again except from one English teacher.
03:43 PM on 06/16/2012
Theres nothing about us human that should make us look down on ourselves.We r made in the image of this wonderful creator [GOD] psalms139:14
02:29 PM on 06/16/2012
How fortunate for you - thanks for sharing. I recently returned from a high school reunion and have been thinking about all the positive influences and guidance I had been fortunate to receive but didn't realize over 40 years ago. Coincidentally, many of my instructors were also people who belonged to religious orders.
01:43 PM on 06/16/2012
What an incredible philosophy and gift -- thanks for sharing.
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Ossit
Ossit
01:09 PM on 06/16/2012
So the fact that he was blind made the things he taught, than anyone should be able to teach, somehow makes him special? He's like anyone else being a good teacher. He just happens to be blind just like Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, Jose Feliciano would've been outstanding musicians had they been sighted. Being blind didn't make 'em more talented, this priest would've been just as good teaching you things had he been sighted.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Gina Ryder
Community Editor
01:25 PM on 06/16/2012
Hi! Thanks for commenting. You're right. For me, this story was more about how the priest took the time to make sure I carried myself with confidence. His blindness is a mere detail.
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Ossit
Ossit
03:48 PM on 06/16/2012
Ahhh, gotcha. Glad you had an excellent teacher, Gina. That's great. You're one of the success stories and that's the great thing about anyone being a teacher. If they can reach and influence, cool. They live for that.
01:33 PM on 06/16/2012
You're missing one of the points that she made: that his being blind caused him to be more focused on the voices of his students, because he couldn't see their faces. Gina's article was a beautiful testament to a fine, thoughtful teacher, one who she feels changed her life. Do you always look for the negative in people, just so that you can make a statement? Search out your heart.
02:22 PM on 06/16/2012
I think you are right en pointe. What an awesome person as well as teacher!
02:30 PM on 06/16/2012
Well said, duffykins - my thoughts exactly.
01:07 PM on 06/16/2012
Gina, thank you so much for your informative article. I spent 12 years in the Roman Catholic school system, being taught in part by priests, Dominican nuns and brothers of Holy Cross. It took years after graduationl to fully appreciate all they did.. I am tired of seeing religious people bashed due to the crimes of a very few. Prosecute the guilty to the full extent of the law, but also honor those who selflessly devote their lives to the service of others! Those who serve far outnumber those who sin. Thanks again.
06:34 PM on 06/16/2012
Thank you Dog Years, you have captured my feelings. God bless the Salesian sister that formed my young mind. Forever grateful!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
care4ub0y
12:50 PM on 06/16/2012
Great read, thank you. In a world where only the criminal priests, small as they are, seem to get the press, it is good to hear of the many, no most, of the clergy who took their jobs and vocations with such dedication.
12:46 PM on 06/16/2012
Gina, Great writing! I'm the Founder of Inspire Women. We produce citywide conferences to awaken God's purpose in women with year round programs to invest in developing leaders for missiions and ministry and to fund scholarships and ministry grants. I am always looking for stories of women whose lives have been touched by God in some way. It sounds like you have found your calling. Bravo for that priest who ignited the gift God put in you. I enjoyed your story but more than that, I enjoyed knowing that you have discovered your calling to write about things connected to God. Keep on writing to turn hearts towards God! God bless you! Anita Carman
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Gina Ryder
Community Editor
01:21 PM on 06/16/2012
Anita!!! What an amazing comment. Your organization Inspire Women sounds remarkable. I just looked at your website and I'm really inspired by your work. I'd love to get involved! Please keep Huff Post Religion up to date on what you're upto. We'd love to hear the inspiring stories that come out of your conferences. Thank you so much for reading my story and commenting.
12:46 PM on 06/16/2012
well, he did a great job, because this piece was VERY well written...congrats on your hard work!
12:38 PM on 06/16/2012
Good article.

Tomario
12:12 PM on 06/16/2012
Great read. It had me reflecting back to the teachers who had a positive influence on me. Another thing. I expected a bunch of negative comments about religion. Suprise! There were not. Refreshing for a change. Thanks!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Gina Ryder
Community Editor
01:34 PM on 06/16/2012
Hi Jeff! I'm so glad you found the conversation refreshing today! Horray. Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. What teachers were you reflecting on?
11:41 AM on 06/16/2012
I only know some ppl who went to religion school and they are not happy. Glad she turned out successful.
02:39 PM on 06/16/2012
How sad for you and the people you know. More than anything, I think learning and maintaining a sense of humor was one thing I consistently learned from my years in parochial school, K - through College. Vatican II was being rolled out as I received my instruction for 1st Holy Communion, so I witnessed major changes in the Church.

Also impressive - the Catholic Church openly encouraged us to study other religious beliefs and I never once heard any criticism of any other religion from an instructor. True Ecumenisn is action. I'm not sure how many churches or other doctrines can say that.