When email killed the telephone part of me was thrilled. I mean, how fantastic to be able BCC the masses with just a few clicks? To Evite your 400 closest pals to your party? To type rather than talk your way out of awkward conversations?
However the other part of me was distraught. Nothing beats voice-to-voice communication. The long pauses. The tone of one's voice indicating their feelings vs. some dumb emoticon. The inability to edit and therefore have to own up to your stupid babbling.
So while email and phone calls each have their positives and negatives, both have served me well in the world of socialization. Texting however has thrown me for a loop.
When I was first introduced to text messaging, I refused to partake. Why the hell would I type a message into a phone when I can much more easily, oh I don't know, USE THE ACTUAL PHONE?
And the stupid use of abbreviations? Does it really take that much longer to write "you" vs. "u"? It's just two more buttons.
The more I tried to refrain from texting the more texts I began to receive. I began to appreciate the convenience texting provided when I needed an address from a friend or needed to relay a message to someone when I knew they were in phone-free environment (because my messages can't wait until you are out of your doctors office). Fine, texting found it's place in my life but it would not ever become my main source of communication.
At least I hoped it wouldn't.
Once Cingular offered me free unlimited texting with my 900 anytime minute plan ( a plan I seem to always manage to go over. Who the hell am I talking to 15 hours a month?!) I began to text a bit more frequently. I mean, it is afterall free.
Besides texting gets to the point. No more time wasting cell minutes on bullshit like "hey how's it going?" when all you want to know is "what's your weed dudes' number?"
Texting also makes sharing well wishes a breeze. Screw old fashion paper greeting cards and stamps. Enough with lame musical Ecards. Just text a "happy b-day!" and you've got your obligatory half-assed friendship duties covered. Hopefully your "happy b-day" text will warrant a reply of "come 2 my b-day party!" and you can then befriend new potential text pals at the party that you can then text on their birthdays and then get invited to their birthday parties and then meet more text-able friends and text them on their birthdays, and then get invited to their birthday parties and so on and so forth. Before you know it you will be the prom queen or king of mobile communication. That'll show them!
Texting can also spice up your sex life.
Secretive booty calls are replaced by inconspicuous messages of "what r u up 2?"
Phone sex is replaced by dirty texting, which is quicker, and great for anyone who is shy.
Don't forget, a dirty test can be stored for endless ridicule so before you attempt dirty text make sure you have some solid sexy skills. Don't be embarrassed if you need a more experienced friend to draft your first dirty text for you. Before you know it, you'll be turning people on by just turning your cellie on.
Long distance lovers can exchange teasing pics of their privates in a snap. Just be sure you are sending the naked photo to right person, the last thing you want is a shot of your bare breasts going to "Tom's mom" instead of "Tom."
But be warned. Texting under the influence can be dangerous! It can result in "I want u" texts sent to unsuspecting crushes and "U r my favorite fart face. " to your best friend when she is at her grandmothers funeral. While your drunken fingers may think they are a wiz at the keypad, your sober pals and/or your terrified object of stalking affection may disagree. Remember, once you hit send, there is no going back.
Let's not forget the beauty in texting is texting ones self! There have been a many late night where I've been trapped at a party or bar sans paper and pen and have had a burst of brilliant ideas explode in my amazingly creative brain, so I am forced to text myself the thought.
Sadly there have been way too many times where I have forgotten I have texted myself and have gotten excited when my phone said " I new txt msg" only to find a nonsensical message from me to me. I then feel gross and lonely that I engaged in such technological masturbation.
While texting has lured me in with it's obnoxious but useful existence, I am still a sucker for a live conversation with a human. Call me ol' fashioned but there is something kind of special about saying "I love you" to a person rather typing"1 4 3."
(Note: If you'd prefer to get my blog entries texted directly to your phone please let me know. )