Hola! Bienvenudos a HuffPost's Debate Liveblog Series ™ — where we watch the debates and critique the candidates in real tiempo! Tonight's it's the landmark Univision Bilingual Debate — the first of its kind — where the candidates will be addressing Univision's humungous and influential Latino audience in their epic battle be named El Presidente. Oddly, they will not be actually speaking Spanish — nay, they are actually precluded from so doing in the name of fairness and totally sticking it to Chris Dodd and Bill Richardson. Fittingly, tonight's debate will be liveblogged by two non-Spanish speaking Canadians, ETP's Glynnis MacNicol and Rachel Sklar, so let the chips fall where they may (but either way, probably with a little salsa). Yes, that is a sign of things to come. Be warned. And now - vamanos, muchachas! Let's see what these gringos have to say. I sure hope "gringos" isn't a bad word. In the meantime, enjoy this clip from the opening credits.
[N.B. Those seeking actual information on last night's debate can skip to the end, where there are links; we think it's safe to say that what follows is, er, color commentary.]
Rachel (7:00:59 PM): Hola, sista!
Rachel (7:01:21 PM): Bienvenidos a la Foro Presidencial Democratica: Distino 2008!
Glynnis (7:01:37 PM): Si, senorita.
Rachel (7:01:40 PM): Oh God when are they going to start with the subtitles?
Rachel (7:01:42 PM): Oy, there are no subtitles.
Rachel (7:01:44 PM): Why didn't I take another language?
Glynnis (7:02:02 PM): Welcome to the liveblogging version of a badly dubbed kung fu movie!
Rachel (7:03:42 PM): The first one up is Obama. He looks a tad uncomfortable. Oh, big cheers for Hillary - well, that breaks the language barrier!
Glynnis (7:04:26 PM): Just as a point of interest, Joe Biden, who just flew back from Iraq, is not participating because he is in DC preparing for the Petraeus report this week.
Glynnis (7:04:57 PM): Also, the candidates are not allowed to answer in Spanish, even if they happen to speak Spanish, as Dodd and Richardson do.
Rachel (7:05:38 PM): Not allowed to answer in Spanish! But Barack Obama is allowed to be paraded across Oprah like the book of the month!
Rachel (7:05:52 PM): Even so, it's got to help them. Richardson can't claim not to understand the questions here!
Rachel (7:06:16 PM): Wow. Barack Obama's energy does NOT match that of the general Univision vibe.
Glynnis (7:06:20 PM): It is nice to see a woman moderator.
Rachel (7:06:25 PM): I know! My God, is that the first? After how many debates? Katie Couric, get in there!
Rachel (7:06:35 PM): Oh look, John Edwards is an Abogado! "Lawyer" sounds so much less sleazy in Spanish.
Rachel (7:07:18 PM): This may be the least useful debate liveblog we've ever done - and that is saying something.
Glynnis (7:07:24 PM): This liveblog may turn into a political version of Jeopardy wherein Rachel and I (non-Spanish speaking Canadians) guess the question (which is being asked in Spanish) based on the answer.
Rachel (7:07:25 PM): Well, this is a good opportunity to focus on body language, then. Kucinich seems very focused tonight, a little graver, seems to be smiling less. Which is odd considering the forum - the energy in the room is high, and let's face it, EVERYTHING sounds more exciting in Spanish. Obama still looks slightly uncomfortable.
Glynnis (7:09:04 PM): Gravel sounds more sensible in Spanish. 
Rachel (7:07:32 PM): I know! It's bizarre to hear strange voices talking over them. Unfortunately you really can't hear what they're saying. At all.
Glynnis (7:08:43 PM): If we listen closely, maybe we can learn how to say "it's George Bush's fault" is Spanish.
Rachel (7:09:07 PM): ¡He is a devil!
Rachel (7:09:13 PM): (Sorry, was quoting Hugo Chavez)
Rachel (7:09:32 PM): Hillary is unflappable! She looks so happy to be there, in her nice azul suit.
Glynnis (7:09:58 PM): Edwards is honored to be there.
Glynnis (7:10:39 PM): If we listen hard we'll learn how to say "father worked in a textile mill" in Spanish
Rachel (7:11:24 PM): Mental note: Find Spanish-speaking people to do this for the GOP.
Rachel (7:11:29 PM): Now THAT will be a fun one to watch! They'll really be playing to the home crowd.
Glynnis (7:14:03 PM): Richardson is NOT happy that at the Spanish debate, spanish is not permitted.
Glynnis (7:14:41 PM): But this only receives tepid applause.
Rachel (7:09:29 PM): Poor Bill. He doesn't look that excited to be there, either. I am genuinely surprised that they are not responding more to the energy. The audience is REALLY upbeat. I guess there is that lag with the translation. But still. If there was ever a time to let loose, this is probably it.
Glynnis (7:15:28 PM): We're not sure Dennis Kucinich listened to the question before declaring that "our troops need to be brought home now!"
Glynnis (7:15:45 PM): But since we didn't understand the question it's sort of a moot point.
Rachel (7:16:09 PM): I think that's what "tropos" means? Oh, God, Spanish-speaking readers, honestly, we apologize.
Glynnis (7:16:19 PM): Well, we can understand applause - the crowd agrees with him whole heartedly.
Glynnis (7:16:38 PM): Barack is pointing out that he didn't vote for the war. The language may change but the message stays the same.
Glynnis (7:21:01 PM): But the crowd continues to love Hillary.
Rachel (7:21:29 PM): She only gets more poised at that podium. But she's playing to a strength here - she's strong in the Latino community, got the endorsement of LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa back in May, performs well here in general.
But then again, Obama's got the Pena endorsement.
Glynnis (7:23:31 PM): Question for Gravel on Terrorismo Okay, so maybe this language barrier thing is overrated.
Glynnis (7:23:47 PM): Gravel is drowning out the translator.
Rachel (7:26:20 PM): And I was just about to comment how much more serious he seemed in this forum!
Glynnis (7:26:17 PM): Now they are talking about immigration with Obama.
Glynnis (7:26:53 PM): Interesting...it seems that they are not limiting the talk to the Mexican border but including Canadian border talk also.
Rachel (7:26:20 PM): In Spanish, Canada is spelled "Canada"
Glynnis (7:27:07 PM): The minute men in Vermont must be very gratified.
Rachel (7:26:20 PM): As are we!
Glynnis (7:28:25 PM): This question initially got a strong response from the crowd and we wonder if it is because someone is finally noting the US has TWO borders. Something that has scarcely been noted in other debates.
Glynnis (7:28:44 PM): Hillary seems to be addressing the fact that both borders need patrolling.
Glynnis (7:29:03 PM): Notwithstanding the cast of Saturday Night Live.
Rachel (7:26:20 PM): Or Knocked Up.
Glynnis (7:30:32 PM): Or Baywatch.
Glynnis (7:32:04 PM): Pamela Anderson.
Rachel (7:26:20 PM): At one point, officially the most famous Canadian. Unlike Seth Rogen (hence the reference to Knocked Up).
Glynnis (7:32:09 PM): Bryan Adams
Glynnis (7:32:14 PM): Celine Dion
Rachel (7:32:31 PM): Lorne Michaels
Glynnis (7:33:55 PM): Jim Carrey
Glynnis (7:34:09 PM): Rachel McAdams
Rachel (7:34:29 PM): "I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling!" Ryan Gosling is Canadian. (Related: Congrats to SNL on the Emmy win!).
Glynnis (7:35:29 PM): Just looking for extra hits here...because who are we kidding. This is the kind of dedication to politics that borders on frightening.
Rachel (7:36:20 PM): There's a "borders on frightening" joke here somewhere. Let's save it for the GOP Spanish debate.
Glynnis (7:37:34 PM): Back to this one. Kucinich is answering a question about trade between Mexico and the States.
Rachel (7:37:50 PM): That...borders on frightening. Hahahahahahaha! Liveblogging is fun! Ish.
Glynnis (7:38:17 PM): Based solely on the applause meter, Kucinich and Hillary are running neck and neck. We are fluent in applause!
Glynnis (7:42:36 PM): Dodd is not speaking loud enough for us to make out what he's saying...but we'd like to point out he's shed the red and green Santa combo...
Glynnis (7:42:47 PM): He just said something that made the crowd VERY happy.
Glynnis (7:43:42 PM): Obama is less than inspiring here. Very low energy, and the amount of time it takes for him to listen to the translation in his ear makes his lack of Spanish apparent.
Glynnis (7:43:53 PM): Not that we're ones to point the finger.
Glynnis (7:44:32 PM): Actually, Obama looks unwell. Hmmm.
Rachel (7:44:42 PM): Montezuma's Revenge? Sorry. I'm going to hell. He does look sort of unwell. This is a grueling schedule, and it's only going to get worse. Fred Thompson was probably wise to rest up.
Glynnis (7:45:54 PM): This is just killing Richardson. He is fluent, people. He does not need a translator.
Glynnis (7:49:56 PM): According to my Google translator the question is, "Are undocumented workers necessary?" if that's correct it's a very interesting question and sheds a human light on the subject
Rachel (7:50:09 PM): What's the answer?
Glynnis (7:50:39 PM): I don't know. Did I mention that this is in SPANISH?
Rachel (7:51:02 PM): I know! Where's Newt Gingrich when you need him?
Glynnis (7:51:03 PM): What is interesting is that it appears that in this debate every candidate is getting the chance to answer the question.
Glynnis (7:51:43 PM): The hosts are not cherry-picking the candidates per question.
Rachel (7:51:53 PM): No Dodd clock this time!
Glynnis (7:52:29 PM): Whatever Hillary just said got a rave response.
Rachel (7:53:53 PM): See above. This crowd likes her. But all crowds are not created equal.
Glynnis (7:54:26 PM): It must be said that we are fans of the woman moderating this debate. She's in yellow, and she has fantastic cheekbones (we assume she's also incredibly intelligent...well, she sounds intelligent even though we have no idea what she's saying)
Rachel (7:55:53 PM): We are fans of A woman moderating the debate. Hillary is often the only woman around for MILES at these things (unless they cut to Kucinich's wife).
Glynnis (7:56:32 PM): Someone just said Richard Nixon...and Roosevelt. Hmm, Reagan can't be far behind. Good thing...we need a drink!
Glynnis (7:56:36 PM): Tequila!
Glynnis (7:56:44 PM): Hugo Chavez!!
Rachel (7:56:59 PM): I was wondering when he'd come up. And Castro. This IS in Miami, after all.
Glynnis (7:57:12 PM): Do the candidates consider Hugo Chavez a dictator?
Glynnis (7:57:36 PM): Edwards appears to be dancing around the question (dancing is a universal language...especially the political kind).
Glynnis (8:00:03 PM): This would be a good time for a yes or no answer.
Rachel (8:01:04 PM): "Si" or...um, "Non?" "Nada?" "Nay?" Wow. We are so not bueno at habloing the Español.
Glynnis (8:01:48 PM): Aha, Fidel Castro. A tour of Spanish-speaking dictators.
Rachel (8:02:09 PM): What does "pasaria" mean?
Glynnis (8:02:49 PM): To hand over, to pass on...in the context of the handover of power, I think.
Glynnis (8:03:02 PM): If there were and applause meter for this debate Hillary would be far and away the winner. We have no idea what she's saying (we assume it's along the lines of "it's GWB's fault") but the crowd loves her!
Rachel (8:03:19 PM): If she could explain what "pasaria" meant, we would too.
Glynnis (8:04:45 PM): I think I should take "conversational Spanish" off my resume.
Rachel (8:05:19 PM): Yes, this has been something of an exercise in futility, but I will say that it's amazing how much interest there has been in having these debates. It's sort of great to have micro-targeting of issues and audiences over this presidential season. Long Tail and all that.
Rachel (8:06:04 PM): Our politics editor Nico Pitney is getting the live feed from Arianna in Miami — she's hearing the English version, and has some good stuff: "Elizabeth Edwards, who's been exchanging looks and hand signals with her husband..." Interesting. Definitely worth a read.
Glynnis (8:15:51 PM): This crowd is loving Hillary.
Rachel (8:16:31 PM): Nico/Arianna report the same from Florida.
Glynnis (8:16:48 PM): They are talking about healthcare...or more likely, the lack thereof.
Glynnis (8:22:00 PM): There is nine minutes left to this debate and our Spanish has not noticeably improved.
Glynnis (8:22:55 PM): However, watching a debate in a language you don't understand definitely lends the candidates and air of mystique. It's easier to assume they are saying something new and interesting, even though this is probably not the case.
Glynnis (8:28:43 PM): Personally, the best part this debate is the host, Maria Elena Salinas. She is owning this.
Glynnis (8:30:07 PM): Her partner, Jorge Ramos, closely resembles Anderson Cooper in twenty years. The fact that we can't understand him makes him that much sexier and more intelligent.
Rachel (8:31:00 PM): Sorry, I was updating and got distracted by the comments. We have comments! Thanks to commenter Mulegino for actually writing in Spanish...alas, we can't understand it.
Rachel (8:31:40 PM): We tend to agree with commenter Richandler: "Wait, so, Richardson cannot use Spanish to a spanish audience. That is BS."
Glynnis (8:31:15 PM): 8:30! The candidates are winding up now.
Rachel (8:31:52 PM): In addition to being slow in Spanish, we are slow in real time: We've been doing the occasional pause on the DVR to not understand what people are saying.
Glynnis (8:31:22 PM): Kucinich is excited.
Rachel (8:31:53 PM): I still think that hasn't been the norm - maybe it's the refractory period-like translation time before they answer the question, but the excitement level has just not seemed to match the vibe in the room. Maybe it's the somber translator voices.
Glynnis (8:31:43 PM): Obama looks like someone slipped him a valium before the debate.
Glynnis (8:32:31 PM): Hillary is leaning against the podium. She is owning this debate. We assume, based on very scientific applause meter.
Rachel (8:32:53 PM): Well, not so fast - at some point, we should probably figure out what was actually said.
Glynnis (8:33:01 PM): We think the final question is, "What do you think the major contribution of Hispanics has been?"
Rachel (8:33:13 PM): Oh wow, would I love to see that question posed to the GOP candidates.
Glynnis (8:33:30 PM): ...and Hillary gets the last word. Whatever it was, it was popular.
Glynnis (8:34:12 PM): Probably they just said the English language version of this debate is available on an other channel.
Glynnis (8:34:16 PM): Ay Caramba!
Rachel: Umm... here's an article about what was said. IN ENGLISH. Sheesh.
Glynnis: "The candidates' responses were simultaneously translated into Spanish for broadcast, and English-speaking viewers could watch using the closed caption service on their televisions."
Rachel: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Glynnis: "Univision invited the Republican candidates for a similar forum, but only Arizona Sen. John McCain has accepted."
Rachel: Hmm. Muy interesante. I'm not sure what language that just was, but you probably know that by now. And on that note, we don't have much more to say and you've probably stopped reading it, especially if you're someone who actually understands Spanish. Well, try this one on for size: Adios, amigo! Thanks for sticking with us.
p.s. Props to commenter BobHanssen for this one: "Viva, Juan Edwards!!
Update, Monday: According to this Univision Press Release: "Univision captured the #1 network ranking among all Adults 18-34, not just Hispanics, and outdelivered ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX and CW for the entire first week of Nielsen's single national panel." And here's something from the WSJ on resistance to Obama in Miami's Little Havana. Yeah, we're trying to make up for last night.