I've been hit with deadline after deadline, so it was only today that I could respond to this article on Gawker, "Marc Jacobs Is the Best Thing Ever to Happen for Gay Liberation." The thrust of the article is that convincing straight people to love the more flamboyant and outlandish elements of the gay community is essential for the gay rights movement. Agreed. But then comes this paragraph, replete with that tired "we are not like them" canard that (some) gays continue to perpetuate:
The great sham of the gay movement is that it is trying to convince the hetero society that we are just like them. Sure, there are many gay men and women living boring lives in the suburbs trying to raise some babies, but still, we are not like them. We will never be like them, and trying to hide it is only going to make them suspect us and hate us even more. So, instead of putting on a stuffed suit, let's all grab one of Jacobs' skirts and head out on the town. When the world gets used to the faggiest of the tribe, getting them to vote for the rights of Uncle Boyd down the street is going to be a snap.
That paragraph presupposes that people like this Uncle Boyd character are the norm in heteroville. Uncle Boyd is an artificial construct, much like the Cleavers in Leave It To Beaver. Back in the 1950's and 1960's, life was more like the world portrayed in Mad Men. You know what I think? Ward Cleaver was probably attempting to emulate Don Draper at any chance he was away from the missus (but most likely with less success) while June Cleaver was home popping barbiturates. Wally Cleaver was kind of a pimp, so he probably convinced a couple of girls to blow him under the bleachers during homecoming.
See, the great sham is that hetero society is still in denial that they are fundamentally every bit as outlandish and ridiculous and hormonal as the "faggiest of the tribe." Take one look at any magazine stand nowadays and you'll see that hooch-zilla Bombshell McGee, you know, the one who had the affair with Sandra Bullock's hubby, a man who is 51 years old and still likes running around doing wheelies on tricycles. What about Tiger Woods and his jizz-covered cell phone? What about former president Bill Clinton and his cigar a la creme? What about the germ-ridden casts of any given MTV reality show? Or any given rap video? If straight people were to suddenly turn into a sea of Uncle Boyds, the entire media and entertainment industry would collapse, no one would go to Mardi Gras, and people would suddenly remember that St. Patrick's day is a Catholic holiday and they would head to church instead of the pub.
This is not to say that every straight person is an uncontrollable pill popping lothario. I'm sure that most straight people - like most gays and lesbians - would not live a Girls/Boys Gone Wild lifestyle even if given unlimited sums of money and freedom. It's simply too tiresome to keep that up. But every person - gay and straight - has a little bit of "gone wild" in them. Every person wants to buck squeaky clean middle class social conventions from time to time. Otherwise films like Office Space and Old School wouldn't exist. Humans are animals too, and animals don't like to be kept in cages or cubicles. Every so often, the animal must come out.
But when it comes to bucking "nice" middle class social conventions, gay people have a pass. When a gay man who wears a suit on the weekdays puts on a skirt and dances with glow sticks to house music as go go boys writhe on the bar on the weekends, straight people think it's normal. "Ohhhh... he's gay," they say. Of course, this stems from the idea that gays exist outside of the norm and are weirdos, but this prejudice does lead to the unintentional result of gays being able to express themselves more freely than straights in certain limited situations.
Sometimes, straight people are more likely to be subjected to public flogging when they are caught doing something deemed unsavory by the populace. When Paul Reubens a/k/a Pee Wee Herman was caught jacking off to a showing of Nancy Nurse in an adult theater, all hell broke loose, even though no one was harmed. Before George Michael came out, he was arrested in a Los Angeles public bathroom for engaging in a lewd act with an undercover cop, and the media went wild. But ever since he came out, he has admitted that he does cruise for anonymous sex and that his partner is ok with it, and no one even bats an eye. Shouldn't straight people have this freedom too?
Listen, straight people. Learn to accept and love yourselves. You are just as expressive and whimsical and fun loving as gay people. You, just like gay people, sometimes have the desire to do socially unacceptable things. Of course, socially unacceptable does not always mean harmful, so we are all for straight people being allowed to do unharmful socially unacceptable things. (But quit it with the harmful things. We're looking at you, Tiger Woods. Go team Elin!) We're not going to judge you; we'll simply just look away and say, "Oh, those darn straight people..."
The sooner you learn to accept and love yourselves - every wild, filthy, and convention-busting part of yourselves - the more you will realize that you are just like us, and that we are just like you. (And to you gay people who insist that straight people are not like us - you simply just don't know that many straight people.)
So, let's hear it! Straight liberation now!
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A club in Minneapolis with a pansexual clientelle has Bondage A-Go-Go Night, every Thursday....their most popular night.
"it's only kinky....the first time"
The crossing of the Public/Private barrier in regards to sexual display and sexual behaviour is hardly the sole domain of homosexuals, to the extent that I would bet every mechanism for "taking it to the streets" that gays employ today are merely a copy of what straights have done before - and in other cultures and times. Making this article an exercise in anachronistic reminiscence.
What this article sells is a baseless accusation that living in the burbs = boring. But what I find more sinister is the inability to extricate consumption and politics from the fact of human sexuality. You don't have to be gay to consume products and services like the urban homo - but at the same time I don't see anyone recruiting political activists from the ranks of the metrosexuals.
Hormonally linked sexual arousal does NOT determine charging skirts, glowsticks and excessive amounts of alcohol to your credit card. So much sexual assault occurs under the influence of alcohol that I won't be standing on your street corner with a sign saying "Love yourselves - every wild, filthy, and convention-busting part of yourselves". There's a reason why people set controls on these kind of behaviours.
I think you hit the nail on the head, but without realizing it. If you go to a gay club or circuit event, security will check your ID, and search for drugs. At a straight event they search for hand guns and knives. Straight security spends its time breaking up fights and expelling offenders. Security at gay events are totally bored. Gay events seldom have dress codes. Straights are screened to prevent gang members from showing their "colors" When have you heard of gay gang members? Sexual assault a gay club? Not so much. When was the last time gays in the military were involved in sexual assault? Straight culture is about "macho" and "dominance". And then there is the whole straight girl "I want you to look, but you can't touch" hypocracy.
Gays don't have to set controls to avoid straight "behaviors".
I'm afraid it's mostly because gay people are "invisible" in Bangladesh because of homophobia and persecution, so hand-holding probably isn't associated with homosexuality in Bangladesh. It's highly likely that your Bangladeshi friend is more homophobic than you - despite your knee-jerk reaction.
Living in a beach town with a large GLB community I had the opportunity to compare my life style with many of my neighbors of that sexual persuassion. What I saw was: young folks partied down and older folks not so much. Granted seeing a fortysomthing guy in a slinkey dress and heels wabling down the street might grab the eye and imagination but I can count those sightings on my fingers.
Folks are folks. Rub elbows long enough and we just get used to each other.
PS: I apologize if this is a bit incoherent. Insomnia loves company.
Wearing catwalk clothes in the suburbs
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/fashion/article6863887.ece
Even when a man attempted to wear something explicitly masculine (a codpiece), the result was the same.
The idea of "patriarchy" doesn't make sense, anyway. When a man - with all his power - cannot wear a skirt or marry another man, what kind of power is that? It can be considered "patriarchy" only when you view all men as a faceless, monolithic mass of people. Otherwise, it's just an issue of strict gender norms, and every man is an "oppressee".
I know some gay people who are married to their partner, have children, and are as settled (in bed by 11pm, etc.) as ANY straight couple, and, ahem, I know some gay men who keep the party going until last call (and beyond) on a regular basis...just like some straight people do....And you know what?...whether one is a gay parent, or a gay party queen, we ALL deserve equal protection and recognition under the law.
I realize this article is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but what will actually most advance the cause of gay rights is to call out religious bigotry, fundamentalism, and extremism at every instance and opportunity...so much of the hatred directed at gays is misguidedly validated by some biblical cherry picking and/or brainwashed response to the "God question"...naming religious-based discrimination as the insanity it truly is / is where the real progress lies...If more straight people openly and loudly denounced the American Taliban, right wing KKKristians, and other Bible (and Koran, and Talmud) thumpers, we would all be more free to express ourselves, and get about the business of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, etc...