Why Did U.S. Soldier Kill Herself -- After Refusing to Take Part in Torture?

They served in the same battalion in Iraq at the same time. Kayla Williams spoke with Alyssa Peterson about the young woman's troubles a week before she died -- and afterward, attended her memorial service. Williams even has her own Iraq interrogation horror story to tell. So what, in Williams' view, caused Alyssa Peterson to put a bullet in her head in September 2003 after just a few weeks in Iraq? And why were the press and the public not told about it?

The death of Alyssa Peterson, which I chronicled here last month, is unspeakably sad, and what was fully in her mind will never be known, especially since her parents apparently knew little about her death until years after it happened. The press, which has rarely challenged the official version of Iraq fatalities, has not probed the incident, to this day (although it is featured in two chapters in my new book on Iraq and the media). But this tragedy also begs the question: Which interrogation techniques drew her ire?

And were they of such a nature that this might explain why this young woman of Mormon faith and, reportedly, good nature would suddenly turn a gun on herself?

The official Army investigation notes that all papers relating to the interrogations have been destroyed. But what do we know about what was going on in Iraq in 2003, beyond credible claims that treatment of prisoners was being "Gitmo-ized"?

Perhaps the most specific testimony that may relate to Alyssa Peterson comes from another Arabic-speaking female U.S. soldier who also served in the 101st Airborne at that time in the same region of Iraq. She even wrote a book partly about it. This is former Army sergeant Kayla Williams, author of the 2005 memoir, Love My Rifle More Than You. Much of the media publicity about the book focused on her accounts of sexual tension or harassment in Iraq, but it also holds several key passages about interrogations.

In the book, Williams, now 30 and out of the Army, described how she had been recruited to briefly take part in over-the-line interrogations. Like Peterson, she protested torture techniques -- such as throwing lit cigarettes at prisoners -- and was quickly shifted away. But she told me that she is still haunted by the experience and wonders if she objected strongly enough.

Williams and Peterson were both interpreters -- but only the latter was in "human intelligence," that is, trained to take part in interrogations. They met by chance when Williams, who had been on a mission, came back to the base in Tal Afar in September 2003 before heading off again. A civilian interpreter asked her to speak to Peterson, who seemed troubled. Like others, Williams found her to be a "sweet girl." Williams asked if she wanted to go to dinner, but Peterson was not free -- maybe next time, but of course time ran out.

Their one conversation, Williams told me, centered on personal, not military, problems, and it's hard to tell where it fit in the suicide timeline. According to records of an Army probe that were obtained by radio reporter Kevin Elston, Peterson had protested, and asked out of, interrogations after just two days in what was known as "the cage" -- and killed herself shortly after that. This might have all transpired just after her encounter with Williams, or it might have happened before and she did not mention it -- they did not really know each other.

Peterson's suicide on Sept. 15 -- reported to the press and public as death by "non-hostile gunshot," usually meaning an accident -- was the only fatality suffered by the battalion during their entire time in Iraq, Williams reports. At the memorial service, everyone knew the cause of her death.

Shortly after that, Williams (a three-year Army vet at the time) was sent to the 2nd Brigade's Support Area in Mosul, and she described what happened next in her book. Brought into the "cage" one day on a special mission, she saw fellow soldiers hitting a naked prisoner in the face. "It's one thing to make fun of someone and attempt to humiliate him. With words. That's one thing. But flicking lit cigarettes at somebody -- like burning him -- that's illegal," Williams writes. Soldiers later told her that "the old rules no longer applied because this was a different world. This was a new kind of war."

Here's what she told Soledad O'Brien of CNN on Sept. 26 of this year: "I was asked to assist. And what I saw was that individuals who were doing interrogations had slipped over a line and were really doing things that were inappropriate. There were prisoners that were burned with lit cigarettes.

"They stripped prisoners naked and then removed their blindfolds so that I was the first thing they saw. And then we were supposed to mock them and degrade their manhood. And it really didn't seem to make a lot of sense to me. I didn't know if this was standard. But it did not seem to work. And it really made me feel like we were losing that crucial moral higher ground, and we weren't behaving in the way that Americans are supposed to behave."

As soon as that day ended, after a couple of these sessions, she told a superior she would never do it again.

In another CNN interview, on Oct. 8, 2005, she explained: "I sat through it at the time. But after it was over I did approach the non-commissioned officer in charge and told him I think you may be violating the Geneva Conventions. . . . He said he knew and I said I wouldn't participate again and he respected that, but I was really, really stunned. . . ."

So, given all this, what does Williams think pushed Alyssa Peterson to shoot herself one week after their only meeting? The great unknown, of course, is what Peterson was asked to witness or do in interrogations. We do know that she refused to have anything more to do with that after two days -- or one day longer than it took for Williams to reach her breaking point.

Properly, Williams points out that it's rarely one factor that leads to suicide, and Peterson had some personal problems, to be sure. "It's always a bunch of things coming together to the point you feel so overwhelmed that there's no way out," Williams says. "I witnessed abuse, I felt uncomfortable with it, but I didn't kill myself, because I could see the bigger context.

"I felt a lot of angst about whether I had an obligation to report it, and had any way to report it. Was it classified? Who should I turn to?" Perhaps Alyssa Peterson felt in the same box.

"It also made me think," Williams says, "what are we as humans, that we do this to each other? It made me question my humanity and the humanity of all Americans. It was difficult, and to this day I can no longer think I am a really good person and will do the right thing in the right situation." Such an experience might have been truly shattering to the deeply religious Peterson.

Referring to that day in Mosul, Williams says, "I did protest but only to the person in charge and I did not file a report up the chain of command." Yet, after recounting her experience there, she asks: "Can that lead to suicide? That's such an act of desperation, helplessness, it has to be more than that." She concludes, "In general, interrogation is not fun, even if you follow the rules. And I didn't see any good intelligence being gained. The other problem is that, in situations like that, you have people that are not terrorists being picked up, and being questioned. And, if you treat an innocent person like that, they walk out a terrorist."

Or, maybe in this case, if an innocent person witnesses such a thing, some may walk out as a likely suicide.

Greg Mitchell's new book is So Wrong for So Long: How the Press, the Pundits -- and the President -- Failed in Iraq. It has been hailed by our own Arianna, Bill Moyers, Glenn Greenwald, Paul Rieckhoff and others. It features a preface by Bruce Springsteen and a foreword by Joe Galloway. You can order it at:
http://www.amazon.com/So-Wrong-Long-Pundits-President-Failed/dp/1402756577/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195934123&sr=1-1

Comments

[Leota2]

We lost the moral high ground a long time ago. Actually, we never had it in Iraq.
The Bush administration, a cowardly Senate the lazy sycophantic corporate press and celebrity ogling Americans have allowed this incredibly horrendous sojourn into hell for the tens of thousands dead Iraqis, more than four thousand Americans and the uncountable maimed and destroyed lives to occur.
It is no surprise that this and probably countless other "suicides" have taken place in Iraq.
Ms. Peterson's family probably trusted that the Army would respect their child's emotional
and physical life. This was not to be.

[Eso]

I believe that the word "suicide" is completely misplaced here. The word, in most cases is used as disinformation. If you think about it, most "suicides" are self-sacrifices for a cause and, thus, political acts. Yes, of course, sometimes they are unconscious political acts, but that does not make them any less self-sacrificial. In the case of Alyssa Peterson, it is clearly a self-sacrificial act--even if it comes with some personal baggage (who of us does not have such?). That is why government trys to disappear such acts. We are all taught fear of death as something of an absolute, when it fact it is the only way to escape a world of violence. I wish more power to her political conscience in making us reflect.

[Maplebird]

Until people see that there is no glamour, romance, sense or logic in it, war and all of the things that go with it (i.e. torture) will continue.
The sad part (what isn't sad about it?) is that even if this soldier considered going public, she did not do so. We still treat those who speak out as traitors and freaks whose statements are to be taken as folly.
And that is our collective folly.

[FogBelter]

Why did Alyssa Peterson kill herself?

It's called Integrity.

[GoodwithWood]

Well said. Myself, I"m afraid of talking with my own family and my Co-workers. I Live in ultra-conservative Utah. There is an old man at work who is obsessed. He spouts off limpball and HannaNazi talking points all day long. I know that if I were to speak up I would be systematically ostracized from the company.

Bin Laden is sitting in his cave laughing with glee at how well his plan has worked. I"ll bet he didn"t even expect to see this country eat it"s self from with-in.

[Kuwaiti]

I'm half Kuwaiti (Arab), and half American, born and raised in the States.

Firstly, the majority of posters here condeming the States, thinking they they've commited the most atrocious acts of torture really don't have a clue. I'll give you guys some brief insite on what the Iraqi army did when they invaded Kuwait during the Gulf War. Do you really think stripping men nude and flicking a few cigarretes on a person is that bad? Read on. The following information is all available in Kuwaiti government provided books, outlining what the Iraqi's did, along with pictures.

-Hanging womens' breasts with meat hooks, letting them bleed to death.
-Taking a gun, and shooting a bullet into one cheek, and out the other.
-Acid inserted into the cavity of a persons' tooth.
-Executions
-Amputations
-Playing doctor
-Alot of rape

Does the U.S.A really seem that bad now?

[FogBelter]

So the question isn't whether or not torture in itself is wrong for the United States Government to sanction, but the relative method of torture as compared to other Nation's torture methods that matters?

Disturbing.

[thirdparty]

which is why Jingozian at www.resetamerica.com wants to prosecute the administration for war crimes. The guy gets it check him out

[ClevelandTom]

You miss the crucial point in the issue of American torture of prisoners.

America should not set its standards of morality relative to what out adversaries do but on our standards based in law and morality. America has prided itself on that for decades and used it as key point in its foreign policy.

Americans have failed to meet those standards on occasion. There are documented instances in Viet Nam for example. Those cases involved individuals or units that ran amok.

But the Bush administration is the first time American civilian approved torture as a policy and, in effect, gave military people instructions to do it. That is crossing a major moral line, whatever the Iraqis did in Kuwait or to their own people.

[leatherneck]

Just today a very well known journalist has stated Bush officials will be indicted in foreign courts for war crimes, but one can bet they will be foolish too travel internationally for the rest of their miserable lives..., but once they meet their maker {Jesus} one can bet he will surely not know them and {God} will be so disgusted with their sin/crimes he has a very fitting place for them too spend eternity in tormented for all eternity where they all can debate the end justified the means they used for their evil ends...

[luziannagirl]

leatherneck,

Bush's God makes exceptions for the behavior of those doing "His" will.

[leatherneck]

As a ex-marine vietnam era, I am not surprised at torture in Iraq being common place, it was well known and well documentated that torture occured in vietnam by both our forces, and all parties involved, what over shadowed it was the losses, draft, etc, today we have no draft officially but a back door draft exists via a trickery called "stop loss", only time any country is brought too justice for war crimes [violation of geneva convention] is when that country is defeated or those involved in the crimes are low level scap goats such as Lt. Calley [Mia lia Massacre], or if high level they venture outside that countries boundries years later and are arrested by international courts, it is unlikely anyone will pay any price on this on this earth for war crimes committed in Iraq, but one can rest assured "god" will bring all those too a much more equal, permenant justice on judgment day and all their policital connections, protections, money, arrogance will do them no good, since eternity is a long time too pay for ones sins/crimes on this earth.

[outnow]

In the Vietnam era, I was a college student. Our professor read letters from a former student who was in combat to the class. The nature of the firefights and the killing and torture was revealed for all. The "former student" confessed his twisted pleasure in the killing and torture. He would alternate with bouts of depression and guilt. Often he would vomit and drink alcohol and tale drugs. He complained that his soul had been destroyed. Recent statistics show that more than one in four veterans are similarly affected..

I later met a number of veterans who had served in Vietnam. The ones with only high school educations were the most likely to engage in brutalities. Officers would direct others to engage in the brutality or send signals that brutality and murder would be tolerated. Only when one finds himself in such situations can he make the moral choices. Oftentimes, it is too late because of the intense emotions and the peer pressure.

If soldiers would refuse to sign up citing the atrocities and the illegal nature of the war and occupation, then a draft would be necessary. Only then will the war end. Again, and again, soldiers cross this threshold of moral decision. Torture of the "Viet Cong" was commonplace in Vietnam. "Nurses" and civilians were fair targets. Rural pinkos were officially "fair game," according to government documents. Why feign surprise at the atrocities in Iraq? It seems disingenuous - we already know the truth.

[lobear00]

The only way to stop the Insanity of this Administration and their Occupation of Iraq, is to shine all Media Attention to it. That would also include the Foreign Media. Flood the airwaves with press coverage all around the Globe.

[PierreLeClerke]

Sown deep

[PierreLeClerke]

WE HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO REAP THE HARVEST OF THE TEMPEST WE HAVE ALLOWED TO BE OWN DEEP INTO THE FABRIC OF OUR NATIONAL SOUL.

[luziannagirl]

If anyone happens to know of any career Arabic/Middle Eastern specialist intelligence workers serving in those positions before Bush came into office, are they still there?

Or, have they since suddenly and surprisingly retired, or otherwise transfered out? Or forced to resign? Or been sidelined with serious medical issues?

Could it be more than just coincidental?

[c1ee]

The kind, gentle hearted are removed from the gene pool, leaving behind those that are grittier, more cold hearted.

[rzan]

I am sick to death of the glorification of the military. This is what the military does to our young people. Torture is wrong, no matter the reason. How can we criticize anyone if our military condones throwing lit cigarettes at an "enemy," or rather, a fellow human being. This young woman should not have died. God bless her family, and all the young people involved in this evil war.

[knighthowl]

Your reaction in understandable, but conflicted. You say that this is what the military does to our young people and that you are sick of the glorification of the military. Then you say God bless all the people involved in this evil war.

I could not agree more with your condemnation of torture, but you should know that the military opposes torture, it does not support it. My daughter is attending one of our military academies and torture is neither taught nor condoned.

Your objections should be addressed to the top of the chain of command. Only George W. Bush has condoned torture. Only he should be condemned for it - and he should indeed be condemned; if not to death, then to life long imprisonment.

[rzan]

I do not blame the young person who signs up. Unfortunately, they are the ones who are sacrificed while the Bushes of this world will retire in comfort and write their memoirs and imagine that history will judge them positively.

[outnow]

The principle of command liability was found to be the only legal doctrine that convicted the Nazis of war crimes. Bush has sidestepped this issue by withdrawing from the International Criminal Court.