03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Gay Marriage, Let the Apologies Begin

It was a real bummer that even the Empire State couldn't get an equal marriage law on the books recently. It fills me with no shortage of pride that I live in the first state to grant equal and full marriage to gays and lesbians, and it is baffling to see how out of touch the rest of the country is with the great state of Massachusetts. Hey, we start a lot of good things -- like America, for instance. Although it's sad to see these continued defeats, I am not despairing. On the contrary, I often wonder when the apologies will start. There is no question in my mind that Gay marriage will be legal in all 50 states in my lifetime. I can already see clearly the apologies that I will be watching on-line, hopefully in 10 years but certainly within 20. I can almost hear it now, "as the speaker of the house for the legislature for the state of X, we here by proclaim by official proclamation put forth by a majority vote an apology for the terrible, shameful, discriminatory and un-American anti-gay marriage laws this body supported and upheld in 2009..... blah, blah, blah".

What short memories people have -- modern history is a good guide, for instance anti-miscegenation laws, Communist witch hunts, women's suffrage, anti-sodomy laws, not allowing Native Americans to enter the City of Providence, etc., all sorts of discriminatory rules and laws that we consider absurd now have been repealed and along with them comes no small amount of groveling and apologizing to the people they discriminated against. Once again bigots will have the next generation falling all over themselves to apologize for their prejudices and superstitious beliefs. The current batch of aging hopped-up homophobic haters and doomsayers are lucky they have us to do their dirty work for them in the future.

This is an open call to all the politicians today voting to violate the constitution, who through claims of divine guidance support laws that strip people of their rights: apologize now so the next generations won't have to do it for you! It is not too late to save your reputation and your respect in the eyes of your grandchildren. Everyone wants to lay claim to a relative that was pro-civil rights, but relatives who were segregationists....not very cool. They just don't produce the same amount of familial pride or positive excitement. Even worse, think George Wallace and Strom Thurmond -- you might be remembered as comical nit-wit frenzied nut jobs, Michelle Bachman and Ricky Santorum take notice.

I say all this because time is on our side. See there are more of us born every day and, well, how do I put this gently... your team, let's call it Team Bigotry, will keep losing key players every day, the bench will just keep getting shallower. And since nobody wants to be on the losing team, a bunch more of you guys will switch teams when it's clear the fans are no longer with you. So I say apologize and get on the winning team early while we are still coming up in the farm leagues. That way we can forget about all that bigotry stuff, just like Robert Byrd. All and all he is thought of as a pretty decent guy despite his little stretch in the Klan, a perfect example that it is not too late to save your good name.

People my age and younger are really wondering WTF is the big deal? As soon as you get to people 35 and younger the numbers flip with a vast majority of people supporting gay rights and gay marriage. It is you people the ones who don't know how to use the interweb so good that are gonna look bad, and many of you will still be alive to see your principled stand ridiculed as passé' foolish prejudice and silly hysteria. The sooner you get on the right side of history the better. When young people take over, your old fashioned way of homophobic thinking will be going the way of the cassette tape, hey even the CD is almost gone ... wow that happened quickly! When change comes it is gonna come at the speed of those pesky txt messages those crazy kids are sexting to each other.

I say all things being equal, you are better off not getting caught with your prejudice showing. Believe me, your younger relatives will really appreciate it later on. It is not even going to be that bad - Massachusetts and Connecticut (yes the nutmeg state also another gay marriage bastion) have the lowest divorce rates in the country...weird you would think it would be one of those states that clings to the good old days' when marriage was sacred. Who would have thought in the future there would be less not more divorce... that should make you feel a little better about eating some humble pie?