Did you hear the one about the bride-to-be who ran around town attending to last-minute wedding details with a tube up her nose? Sadly, this isn't the beginning of a joke, but is instead something that has the potential to become a disturbing trend among brides-to-be who want to shed 10 to 20 pounds before walking down the aisle and saying, "I do."
Well, I say, "Please don't."
Perhaps you saw the recent ABC TV news report about what's being called the K-E diet. This so-called diet requires the insertion of a feeding tube, which goes in through the nose and runs down to the stomach. Through the tube, the dieter is fed a continual slow drip of protein and fat (mixed with water), which reportedly contains no carbohydrates and equates to ingesting only 800 calories in a 24-hour time period, according to ABC News.
Along with having the feeding tube running into their noses throughout the entire 10-day process, dieters must also carry the food solution with them at all times. ABC news also reports that brides-to-be who are on the K-E diet claim that this extreme weight loss method is warranted because they need to get rid of excess fat in order to fit into their wedding dresses. Needless to say, some doctors are somewhat skeptical of this process, noting that fad diets are often cyclical.
As someone who spent years (and years!) trying -- and often failing at -- different diets (many of them of the fad variety), I know what it's like to desperately want to lose weight before a certain social obligation (not to mention just wanting to lose weight in general). But how walking around with a feeding tube up your nose (and a bag of fluid "feed" thrown over your shoulder) is preferable to simply eating less and exercising more is beyond me.
How is it that, as a community of dieters, we continue to ignore the simplest -- and usually best -- solutions for losing weight? Can living with a feeding tube in your nose (which snakes through to your stomach) really be easier than relying on a measuring cup when preparing meals and power-walking on a treadmill when wanting to burn calories? Really?!
I understand that much of our obsession with finding a "magic wand" to take off excess weight has to do with wanting it to come off quickly. But successful dieting does not require a degree in rocket science (much less a feed bag of liquid "food"). There's nothing wrong with common sense solutions. And the real work involved with these common sense solutions can help us to stay grounded mentally, and therefore potentially keep excess weight off after we've gotten rid of it.
As anyone who has ever crash-dieted knows, although you might lose some weight quickly, the weight doesn't necessarily stay off. And our bodies can become aware of the starvation mode and will often retaliate by gaining even more weight back than we've initially lost. This is to say nothing of the reduced energy level that going on a "diet" such as this one would potentially leave the dieter with. Can you imagine these brides, although fitting into their dresses, stumbling down the aisle in a low-energy fashion -- as if they were cast members of AMC's The Walking Dead?
Again, there are easier, even less expensive ways to lose weight. Not to mention potentially less dangerous to our overall health (and psyches). Most brides plan their weddings a year or so in advance. So why not start cutting back on portions and rich foods at the time wedding planning begins, rather than waiting until 10 days before the ceremony?
And if all else fails, why not choose a wedding dress with a flattering fit and a comfortable cut? Anyone who has been to a wedding will assure you that a bride's real beauty shines from within. None of us are checking waist sizes as the brides walk (or potentially stumble like zombies) down the aisle. However, we will turn, stare and point at you if we see you at your bachelorette party with a tube sticking out of your nose and a liquid feed bag hanging from your shoulder.
While quickie solutions might sometimes be "quick," they aren't always "solutions." If something sounds too weird, too wacky and too outlandish, take the hint and try dieting the old-fashioned way. Your health -- and your body -- will thank you for it.
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