A Secret to More Happiness and Energy? Give Yourself a Bedtime

As a result of my happiness project, I've become a sleep zealot. It's just so obvious to me -- from reading the research and from personal experience -- that getting enough sleep is a key to a happier life.

I've noticed something, however. I noticed this in myself, before I became such a sleep nut, and I see it in the people around me: Most adults don't give themselves a bedtime.

Children have a fixed bedtime; we know they need their allotment of sleep, and we pack them off to bed when it's time. But many adults just go to bed whenever they feel like it.

The problem with this approach is that it's far too easy to stay up too late. The TV, the Internet, your email, your book... these distractions keep you alert past the point at which you should head to bed. Many of us know we ought to go to sleep sooner, but we just can't manage to pull it off.

One suggestion: Give yourself a bedtime. Even if you don't actually go to bed on time, at the very least, you should know that you're "staying up past your bedtime." Just the realization that it's an hour past your "bedtime" might help you nudge yourself into bed. Most adults should get 7-8 hours of sleep each night, so do the math.

I get up at 6 a.m., which means my bedtime is 10:30 p.m.. When I first gave myself a bedtime, I was in the habit of going to bed around 11:30 or midnight. I thought that was an appropriate grown-up bedtime. Well, it's not if you're a grown-up who gets up at 6 a.m.!

For me, at least, getting more sleep was a habit that was self-reinforcing. I felt so, so much better when I started getting enough sleep that it was very easy to observe that bedtime, even though I do regret the loss of those leisure hours.

How do you know if you're not getting enough sleep? Some warning signs:

• You're jolted out of sleep by your alarm clock every morning.
• You fall asleep any time you find yourself in a quiet, still place (in a movie theater or rocking your child).
• You sleep-binge on the weekends.
• You feel exhausted all the time.
• On the day when Daylights Savings Time gives you an extra hour of sleep, you feel amazing.

Try it. Don't even attempt to go to bed earlier. Just identify your bedtime. We tend to manage what we measure, and by identifying a specific bedtime, you might find yourself developing the habit of turning off the light earlier.

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday's post will help you think about your own happiness project.

* My friend Debbie Stier has a blog called the Perfect Score Project, all about her attempts to ace the SAT. I have no interest in taking the SAT (thank goodness!), but she is so funny and engaging that I love checking out the site, anyway.

* Would you like a copy of my personal Resolutions Chart, just to see how I organized it (and copied from Benjamin Franklin)? Email me at [e-mail] if you'd like to get it.

 

 

 

Follow Gretchen Rubin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/gretchenrubin

Comments

[mick8535]

10:50 PM on 02/08/2012

Stop being such agreement types people. its just ugly that you all want to agree agree agree. I get 6 hours of sleep per night and 7ish on sundays. I am usually tired, but coffee takes care of that, no problem.... just keep it going all day. I don't know about you, but there isn't enough time in the day and I am like a little kid, I stay up cause I can. Plus I have discovered Call Of Duty (on COD 2 right now) and play that till at least 2 am daily after my wife goes to sleep at 11 to 1130 at night. A guy has to have his ME TIME, right?

[pinkpoodle79]

10:34 PM on 02/08/2012

Part of this is learning how to deal with anxiety. Like most people, I have trouble sleeping when I think about all of the things I have to do. Somehow, I managed to get over this (within the past few months) by telling myself that I can only do one thing at a time and that nobody's gonna die if I don't get those tasks done. I also started drinking tea around 8:30 and then telling my boyfriend what time I intend on going to bed that night--never later than 11:00. I've been pretty successful at staying asleep since I started really trying, but the pets thing is still a factor. People make fun of me for taking sleep so seriously, but I just can't function without 8-9 solid hours each night and I don't feel ashamed about that. Being able to survive without sleep and pull all-nighters is not a positive quality.

[margonagy]

06:40 PM on 02/08/2012

Yes this is true...and after struggling with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 26 years and almost dying...An herbalist found that people with CFS and other incurable diseases are not going into the deep levels of sleep at night because their polarity is reversed causing static in the central nervous system. Now after using his herbs to un-reverse my polarity I am totally healed from CFS and sleeping deeply again! for more info please go to: www.polaritybalancing.net

[jacquelinenh]

09:24 AM on 02/08/2012

Absolutely agreed about this! I now go to bed when my kids do -- after all, we all get up at the same time! At first I had trouble letting my brain wind down at 8:30 -- found some good sleep tips, including herbal teas and other natural remedies, http://www.womentowomen.com/adrenalhealth/naturalsleepinghelp.aspx and am now starting to feel sleepy and winding down by 8. Getting about 9 solid hours a night has made me a different person!

[Interesting2read]

09:16 AM on 02/07/2012

Hey Gretchen -- complete agree! There's nothing better than a good night's sleep and the only way to get it is to schedule it! On another note, I'm working on my own happiness project -- turning 50! I write about on a blog called Thegrayareablog.com. Will be looking at some of your suggestions to add to my outlook of appreciating 50 instead of dreading it!

[MamaShoob]

08:48 AM on 02/07/2012

I so totally agree with this. Before I got pregnant in May of 2010, my bedtime was 11 or 11:30 after the news. I was so tired by the end of the week because I get up at 5 am to get ready for work. After I was pregnant, and couldn't stay awake past 8 pm most nights anyway, I started going into bed by 8:30 or 9. What a difference! Now that my daughter is 1 I still go to bed by 9:30, at least if I am in there, resting and reading, then turn the light off by 10, it makes a huge difference in how I feel in the morning. My hubby say so too.

[AFRose]

05:06 AM on 02/07/2012

If you have a specific wake up time like me (3am), then it's important to have a specific bedtime. I make sure to be in my bed by 9pm. There was a time when I went to bed at midnight or even as late as 1am, and would go to work on 2 hours sleep & would feel lousy all day. The worst was when I worked 10pm - 6am and would get no sleep during the day and would binge sleep every few days.

[Open Circles]

10:28 PM on 02/06/2012

Hey I'm with you on the bedtime. As a side note, I was not able to get my blood pressure under control until I started getting the appropriate amount of sleep. So when doctors question your diet and exercise, don't underestimate the other things that cause you stress like simply, lack of sleep.

[cfreeperson]

10:19 PM on 02/06/2012

Yes, I've heard that one before. Someone who doesn't have trouble sleeping can never understand that it's just not that easy for some of us. I must wait until I'm actually really, really tired to even think about lying down. Otherwise, I just lie in bed and toss and turn.

I recently had a conversation with my husband who resents the fact that I can't go to bed at 9:00 p.m. with him every night. He patiently explained that my sleep problems were an inability to use my mind to control my sleeping habits. I didn't know whether to laugh at him or smack him.

[Jaems Kol]

06:36 PM on 02/06/2012

Gretch! OMG you noticed that too!
The thing is, WOMEN don't get enough orgasms. This causes MEN stress. No one sleeps well.
Jaemsy
The Princess Conspiracy
jaemsy.blogspot

[Dubagee]

06:28 PM on 02/06/2012

Bedtime - CHECK! Between 10 & 11 pm every night! it really truly does make a difference!

www.gigieatscelebrities.com

[isisreptiles]

06:25 PM on 02/06/2012

What are we, five years old?

[Sam Hill 01]

05:08 PM on 02/06/2012

You could have your mommie tuck you in and everything after reading you a story book.

I am soo mad !....my wife wiped off on my teddy bear last night.

[JimPeggy Vesely]

04:27 PM on 02/06/2012

another case of do as I say or you're wrong.

[flkewlkid00]

04:05 PM on 02/06/2012

drinking alcohol to excess will help you go to bed at a reasonable hour