One of my key realizations about happiness, and a point oddly under-emphasized by positive psychologists, given its emphasis in popular culture, is that outer order contributes to inner calm. More than it should.
After all, in the context of a happy life, a messy desk or house is a trivial problem -- yet I've found, and other people tell me they feel the same way, that getting control of the stuff of life makes me feel more in control of my life generally. (Even if this is an illusion, it's a helpful illusion.)
But as much as most of us want to keep our home, office, car, etc. in reasonable order, it's tough. Here are some myths of de-cluttering that make it harder than it needs to be.
1. "I need to get organized." No! This is not your first step! Don't get organized.
2. "The more organized I am, the better." I fully appreciate the pleasure of having a place for everything, and perhaps counterintuitively, I find it easier to put things away in an exact place, rather than a general place ("the third shelf of the coat closet," not "a closet"). However, this impulse can become destructive: If you spend a lot of time alphabetizing your spices or setting up eighty categories for your home library, consider simplifying your approach. Also, some things simply won't stay organized, so it's not even worth trying; I've spent hours sorting magic markers and Calico Critters pieces, only to find everything a jumble the next day.
3. "I need to run out and buy some inventive storage containers." See #1. I love cunning containers as much as anyone, but I've found that if I get rid of everything I don't need, I often don't need a container at all.
4. "I need to find the perfect recipient for everything I'm getting rid of." True, it's easier to let go of things when they're going to a good home, but be wary of letting this kind intention become a source of clutter, itself. I have a friend who has multiple piles all over her house, each lovingly destined for a particular recipient. This is generous and thoughtful, but it contributes mightily to clutter. Try to find one or two good recipients, or create some kind of rigid system for moving stuff along quickly.
5. "I can't get rid of anything that I might possibly need one day." How terrible would it be if you needed a glass jar and didn't have one? Do you need gigantic stores of rubber bands or coffee mugs?
6. "Someday, I might get that gizmo fixed." Face it. If you've had something for more than six months, and it's still not repaired, it's clutter.
7. "After I lose some weight, I'll fit into these clothes again." If you lose a bunch of weight, you'll likely want to buy a new pair of jeans, not dust off the pair you bought seven years ago.
8. "I need to keep this to remind me of the past." I'm a huge fan of mementos; remembering happy times in the past gives you a big happiness boost in the present. But ask yourself: do I need to keep all these t-shirts to remind me of high school, or can I keep a few? Do I need to keep a giant armchair to remind me of my father, or can I use a photograph? Mementos work best when they're carefully chosen -- and when they don't take up much room!
9. "I need to keep this object to show respect for the person who gave it to me." You can love someone, but not want to keep a gift from that person. It's okay to pass an item along to someone who will appreciate it more.
What other myths am I overlooking? Do these ring true for you?
* I just discovered Geoff Manaugh's Bldg Blog -- so much to see and read.
For more by Gretchen Rubin, click here.
For more on mindfulness, click here.
* My next book, Happier at Home, is inching toward completion. Just finishing the interior layout now. If you'd like to be notified when the book becomes available, sign up here. Now that the year has switched from 2011 to 2012, my publication date seems much, much closer.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.