Happiness: Should You Have Goals Or Resolutions?

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For my Happiness Project, I always talk in terms of my "resolutions" - my resolution to "Quit nagging" or "Sing in the morning" or "Make time for projects."

I'd noticed idly that a lot of people talk instead in terms of "goals." I'd never thought much about this distinction, but yesterday, it struck me that this difference was, in fact, significant.

You hit a goal, you achieve a goal. You keep a resolution.

I think that some objectives are better characterized as resolutions, others, as goals.

"Run in a marathon" or "Become fluent in Spanish" is a good goal. It's specific. It's easy to tell when it has been achieved. Once you've done it, you've done it!

"Eat more vegetables" or "Stop gossiping," or "Exercise" is better cast as a resolution. You won't wake up one morning and find that you've achieved it. It's something that you have to resolve to do, every day, forever. You'll never be done with it.

Having goals is terrific for happiness. The First Splendid Truth says that to think about happiness, we need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. Striving toward a goal gives a tremendous sense of growth.

But it can be easy to get discouraged when you're trying to hit a goal. What if it takes longer than you expected? What if it's harder than you expected? And what happens once you've reached your goal? Say you've run the marathon. What now - do you stop exercising? Do you set a new goal?

With resolutions, the expectations are different. Each day, I try to live up to my resolutions. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but every day is a clean slate and a fresh opportunity. I never expect to be done with my resolutions, so I don't get discouraged when they stay challenging. Which they do.

For example, one of my recent resolutions was "No more fake food." Have I achieved this goal? Well, maybe -- I haven't had any fake food since I made that resolution. But practically not a day goes by when I don't fight the temptation. How many times has my hand hovered above a Glenny's 100-Calorie Brownie? "No more fake food" is a resolution, not a goal.

If you'd like to read more about happiness, check out Gretchen's daily blog, The Happiness Project, and join the Happiness Project group on Facebook to swap ideas.

Comments

[janvoght]

there is simply nothing more empowering than to totally realize that our moods and general outlook on life and the cards we were dealt, is all CHOICE. we really have not much control over much else ultimately, and at the end of the day, why give our power away to anyone or anything else? if we aren't born with the natural ability to wake up happy, we can change that! it's just practice and is kinda fun at that. every time you catch yourself thinking unhappily, smile and check out the feeling that will take over. if you really pay attention, it's an internal as well as external phenomenon ;=)

[forpeace]

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My Apology to everyone, I had no choice but posting this in here, sorry again.

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Alberto Gonzales
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References Upon Request:
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[DannyEastVillage]

oh come, now...you don't think any of them would give him a reference, do you?

[cinemaven]

HuffPost's Pick

Happiness is a choice and having it makes reaching goals or keeping resolutions easier because a happy person has less self doubt and negative feelings.

I decided to be happy when I turned 20. I realized that I was a pretty miserable, self involved person. I thought about all of the reasons I had to be happy, and couldn't think of too many substantial reasons to be miserable so I decided to change. It was easy... just letting yourself be happy is a gift.

Now, 28 years later, people are often amazed by how positive I am. Even today, with some very difficult things going on in our life, I can be happy and my happiness is contagious.

I'm not so naive as to think it's contagious to everyone. Some people have made the same conscious choice I made but in the opposite direction. Some people are gloriously unhappy. They revel in it with the same pleasure I revel in happiness.

I save my goals and resolutions for other parts of my life since my happiness is well fixed and taken care of. I do find that it's easy to meet the goals in your life if you're a positive and happy person. You see possibilities everywhere (I KNOW there's a pony in every pile of crap!) and people have a tendency to want you to work with them and to work with you if you shine with happiness.

[brooklyncitizen]

Some people are also just suffering. We don't speak too much of just deep suffering in this culture.

[forpeace]

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It all depends on the definition of Happiness.

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[rrafiringa]

Happiness is a sense of great satisfaction over the general status quo and yourself.

[aFlyoverPerson]

My goal is that I will not drink today. My resolution is that I will stop drinking.

Seems like the difference between a 1-shot test for myself vs a lifestyle change. Happiness is meeting my goals in the process of keeping my resolutions, yes?

[MikeDu]

Resolutions and goals for happiness? How about resignations and acceptance instead. Stop beating yourself up about having a low 'set point' for happiness. Like weight and I.Q. it was probably hard-wired into you at birth anyway. Embrace your relative misery as part of who you are. Learn a lesson from the East. The ultimate goal of the Hindu yogi is not happiness but indifference.

[brooklyncitizen]

Denial?