Happiness Tip: Enter Into The Spirit Of The Season

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

We're entering the holiday season. People approach this in different ways.

My mother, for example, loves to collect and present beautiful things. Her Christmas decorations are breathtaking. Also, along with three decorated trees and many beautiful arrangements, she gets seasonal plants like paper-white narcissus flowers, poinsettas, and evergreens.

I'm an under-buyer (as opposed to an over-buyer), so I never get around to buying decorations, and I can never bring myself to buy flowers or plants. Also, I'm always looking for ways to be efficient and get a lot done, so I begrudge the time it takes to put up decorations.

But I realized - even before my happiness project - that I had to push against my inclinations in this area. Entering into the spirit (whether of a holiday or a season of the year) is a resolution that's a struggle for me to keep, each time, but I also know that it gives a major boost of happiness.

So I figured out how to enter into the spirit in my way. My mother bequeathed me some of her decorations - Halloween and Christmas - so I didn't have to assemble them. Once when she was in New York during the holiday season, I had her arrange the decorations; I took photos; and now I arrange them EXACTLY the way she did. I still don't buy plants. That's all I can manage, but that's enough.

Samuel Johnson observed, "There is, indeed, something expressibly pleasing, in the annual renovation of the world, and the new display of the treasures of nature." Entering into the spirit of a holiday or season, in whatever way works for you, is a powerful source of happiness. Maybe it's spring, maybe it's the end of school, maybe it's the Fourth of July, maybe it's Ground Hog Day...every holiday or season doesn't suit everyone, but look for ways to celebrate a particular time of year.

Like many things that boost happiness (unfortunately), this resolution can be a pain. It takes time, it takes energy, it takes money, it takes planning. But in the end, it's fun.

If you don't have money to spend on decorations, look for ways to enter into the spirit that don't cost anything. Seasonal food is a good way, and seasonal activities, like ice-skating or pumpkin-picking. If you're craft-y, or if you have kids, it's fun to make your own decorations.

One challenge to entering into the spirit is that some people get a kick out of making fun of what you're doing, and some people think it's a waste of time. The Big Man doesn't enter into the spirit, much - he doesn't oppose it, but he doesn't get into it. He didn't even know that blue and white are the colors of Hanukkah until I told him. Oh well.

Maybe you're thinking, "Hey, this just isn't my style. I'm not going to get into the spirit." Okay, some people just don't enjoy it. But if that's true, at least try not to dampen other people's pleasure. Remember to shield your joyous ones; don't make it harder for them to enter into the spirit. Admit it: even if you think it's a waste of time and energy, don't you get a kick out of seeing seasonal decorations?

Have you found any good ways to enter into the spirit of the season?

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Interested in starting your own Happiness Project? If you'd like to take a look at Gretchen Rubin's personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email her at grubin, then the "at" sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. No need to write anything more than "Resolutions Chart" in the subject line.

Comments

[MissAngela]

A Christmas tree that had no leaves at all with a 211 tall can angel assembled in an urban park
is what really got me into the holiday spirit.
Seriously.

[upb41]

Happiness Tip: If you don't believe, and you don't enjoy it, don't do it!

Happiness Tip: If you don't enjoy it, DON'T DO IT.

Bears repeating:

Happiness Tip: If you DON'T enjoy it, DON'T DO IT!

I'm an athiest, my husband is an athiest. We don't believe in Christmas, and we don't enjoy Christmas. So, finally, after struggling with it for many years, we just stopped. No tree, no decoration, no wreaths, no presents, nada. We don't pretend by 'doing just a little'. Family didn't want to understand, or 'get it', so we used to travel. We made plans in advance, told everyone we would be gone, and we did - we traveled all over the country, seeing wonderful things, having great experiences. Now, years later, we are able to be home, and not celebrate, though we still don't answer the phone on holidays.

Don't let anyone tell you that to be happy, you must celebrate, even a 'little'.

I'm happy, and I don't believe in God, religion, or Christmas, and I don't celebrate fake holidays.

[OtayPanky]

Whether you believe in God or the Great Pumpkin or nothing at all, the key is what you said: Do what you enjoy; don't do what you don't enjoy. It's just that simple.

Most people never get this far. They never to this level of individuation or self-actualization. They're always listening to the little parental voices in their head - playing out the roles of both the inner parent and the compliant child and/or the rebellious child.

Living life by lists and resolutions is a recipe for misery, not happiness.

[BlackYowe]

Wow sounds like you are bitter!

[marlainWA]

I love the simple pleasures of Christmas, the snow, fire, christmas lights, candles, the smell of cinnamon and feel good movies.

My husband wants to buy his daughter gifts but movies, music and the like are not cool. I think he tries to act like his 21 yr old. I can tell sometimes he secretly loves it all and is glad I do it but it makes it hard on me to enjoy it with feeling like its all me.

Every year it is a struggle to get him to put up the lights. This year he will because his daughter is flying up here. Its hard not to feel angry about this. It ruins the good spirit of it to say anything.

I know my week of christmas will be spent this year listening to rock, scarey movies and anything to be close to the daughter. I feel close to mine whether they are here or not and when they come we play christmas music and games. So I guess our family life and traditions are very different.

But you don't see these things when dating and or engaged because people are on their best behavior. Oh well, I will do my best. I am determined to bring a bit of christmas to these bah hum bugs! I already emailed my step daughter and asked her what her fav christmas dessert is...lemon bars...and by golly i will try to make the best!

[JazzPuff]

We are a large Italian family and the spirit is ALWAYS laughter and the joy of being together. The rule is to bring a $5 gift if you want to be included in the grab bag, so you have a choice on taking something home or not. And the dinner, is bring what you can...It is a festival of enjoyment and laughter and at the end of these gatherings their is always a group hug, so we can remember how we all touch one another's lives throughout the year at times we cannot be together to share.

[ecotopian]

Why am I supposed to get into the spirit of a holiday for a person I don't believe in? Why does this make me less happy than those who do? It's the pushing of the holiday and its supposed happiness that makes me grouchy.

People are constantly pushing me to celebrate this holiday. When I tell them I am no longer a Christian and that by celebrating this holiday I feel as though I am committing a sin (yes, I do see the irony), they still don't get it.

Let up on us who don't want to celebrate this holiday. We are just as happy as you, unless you continue to nag us we're not.

[BandsofBlack]

I don't believe either. I just like the shiny decorations and the music (not the shopping, ugh). And I'm not about to let Jebus and his crazy followers ruin my Christmas.

[sacrebleu]

Thanks for the chuckle ;>)

[VOTER]

My husband is an atheist but still enjoys the spirit of fun. So it is possible to
enjoy this time of the year without being grouchy. Also, while close family
and friends know he is an atheist, he doesn't tell others. No need to do so.

[Sarfrancisco]

I understand where you're coming from ecotopian, but consider this: my family and my husband's family are a gaggle of firebrand atheists. We've always observed the holiday season as a time to spend with family and friends, eat lots of yummy food, listen to winter-themed songs, and exchange some gifts. Winter is long and cold-- why not have a little fun? When people, whether they are Christian or not, wish me Merry Christmas, I accept it as they are wishing me health and happiness for the season.

Maybe I take this cavalier approach because in my family Christmas has never been viewed as a religious event, but I can understand why you feel the way you do. As I said before, winter is long, cold, and the lack of sun can affect your mood, so I try to stay positive and delight in what is (family, friends, food, fun), rather than what is not (warm temperatures, flowers, beaches, etc.).

[ConfuciusSay-]

Giving presents to people you like, baking cookies, and decorating the house are fun activities. So is putting up a tree, listening to Christmas music, and enjoying a sense of goodwill. The holiday is for friends and family, and doggies too.

It's got naught to do with religion, as far as I'm concerned. I've been atheist since age 7, so frankly very little has to do with religion IMHO. That does not deprive traditional hymns or stories of their aesthetic value.

If you don't feel good about this specific stuff, then by all means develop what you're comfortable with. But you're not being some kind of traitor to atheism if you eat cranberry sauce and sing a couple carols.

[BlackYowe]

I have Neo-Pagan friends who celebrate the winter solstice. They are former Catholics and we still share the holiday and enjoy a deep winter festival that celebrates life. We also love getting together for New Years Eve. ecotopian you sound like you have an ax to grind someplace.

[BandsofBlack]

One of my favorite Christmas videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBBRJs6YCE4

If you hate that, try this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ua8gYY5_PI

[beauregard62]

WOW totally got me in the spirit...especially Mrs. Miller...THANKS!!!

[beauregard62]

How can you not get into the spirit with these videos? LOVED EM!!

[sacrebleu]

All I can say about Mrs. Miller is that my freshly-applied mascara is now running in rivulets down my cheeks.

THANK YOU!!!

[Gladys1963]

Both ladies are VERY fabulous, but I couldn't get through Mrs. Miller's songs (and that was my grandmother's name, too!).

And sacrebleu, thank you for the wonderful use of the word "rivulet"!

[concernvoter]

Balancement, I will be praying for you. Just keep your head up and I know the Lord will make a way for you. Good Luck. Don't Give Up!

[VOTER]

We have had two special family traditions for 37 years.

ONE: Living in the Midwest, we celebrate the FIRST SNOW with a special family dinner.

The ingredients are always in the pantry and freezer by November 1st.
so we aren't caught off guard by an earlier than expected FIRST SNOW.
Flurries don't count. The ground, shrubs and trees must be covered.
Children love this tradition.
If both parents are working and planning such a meal is difficult, perhaps
enjoying a special FIRST SNOW DESSERT would work.

TWO: We do not open our Christmas and Holiday Cards until Christmas Night.

As the cards arrive they are placed in a special basket.
We started this tradition after our first year of marriage when we realized
we were not reading our families and friends greetings and news together.
Now this is a very nice part of our holidays.

The only hitch was making sure our family and friends knew to write on the
front of their holiday invitations, OPEN NOW.

Simple things can bring great joy. The only real cost is planning
and making sure you do them each year so you and your family
can share your own special traditions.

[BandsofBlack]

Do you have some shiny ornaments packed away somewhere? Do you have a big ol' bowl (or even a small bowl) tucked in the cupboard? If you can't bear the work/effort of putting out a tree get out some ornaments and dump them in a bowl and put them on your table/coffee table. Instant and cheap holiday cheer.

[OtayPanky]

gretchen rubin: I still don't buy plants. That's all I can manage, but that's enough.

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What you don't seem to get is that it's also enough if you don't do a blessed thing.

As long as you chase happiness by trying to DO STUFF to live up to your expectations or your perceptions of the expectations of others, you're really working on your UNHAPPINESS PROJECT.

When you let go of all that nonsense - including the nonsense of making resolutions and trying to keep them - you can settle into your natural state and simply BE HAPPY.

Happiness as a project simply doesn't work. Never has, never will. The bluebird of happiness doesn't light upon tense and spasming shoulder, but rather upon the shoulder that has learned to relax into life as it is, rather than as it should be.

The fact that we have a multiplicity of coaches, shamans, therapists and other dispensers of advice for a fee should give us a clue that something is awry with the very basics of this constructionist viwe of happiness.

The cure for our problem surely isn't making a list of things we could, should or would do better.

But as PT Barnum famously observed, "There's a sucker born every minute". So it can be a lucrative business to set oneself up as a guru here. Most "life coaches" bill out at $150/hr and up.

[Balancement]

Sorry, this will be my 3rd Christmas in a row where I'm unemployed. No happiness here.

[VOTER]

Hoping 2009 brings you a good change ............. a job.
Your post is a tough one.
Best wishes.

[OtayPanky]

I hope things look up for you.

If I can offer a word of practical advice: I have no idea where you live, but here in New Jersey there is a shortage of workers in the health care industry. I'm speaking particularly of direct care staffing at homes for the developmentally disabled.

Admittedly the pay is not good. A lot of these jobs are taken by immigrants from other countries, who are both working and (in many cases) studying to become nurses or something else that will get them a better pay scale.

These jobs cannot be outsourced, and the budget for these positions to be filled isn't going away. So if you are able-bodied (can help someone in and out of bed, shower, toilet, etc) and compassionate, there is work to be had, at least here.

My best wishes to you in these difficult times.

[Hopalongpoppyseed]

Humbug.