The Happiness Lesson I Learned From A Barry Manilow Concert

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you should have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

I've been thinking a lot lately about enthusiasm. Enthusiasim--the aptitude for enjoyment--is a key to happiness. But the thing is, it's cooler not to be too enthusiastic. There's a goofiness to enthusiasm, an innocence, a readiness to be pleased. It take energy, humility, and engagement.

On the other hand, taking refuge in irony, or assuming an air of philosophical ennui, is less taxing. Making cutting remarks shows your discernment and your sophistication.

It's also less risky. I think back to one evening, when, as part of a surprise birthday party for one of my best friends, we went to a Barry Manilow concert, because my friend loves Barry Manilow. Afterward, I reflected that it showed considerable strength of character for my friend to be such an avowed Barry Manilow fan. After all, Barry Manilow is...well, Barry Manilow. It would be so much safer to mock his music, or to enjoy it in an ironic, campy way, than to admire it whole-heartedly as she did. Enthusiasm is a form of social courage.

Plus, her enthusiasm rubbed off on everyone who was with her. "Emotional contagion" is the psychological phenomenon by which we "infect" each other with our moods. The fact that my friend was so happy to be at the concert lifted all of us up. (Remember the Second Splendid Truth: One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; one of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.)

I've been trying to embrace this kind of zest.

Also, I've noticed that irony and world-weariness allow people a level of detachment from their choices: fast food, American Idol, a country-club membership. Enthusiasm implies an acceptance of that activity or possession; a discontented or detached air allows a person both to embrace and to disavow something.

I know someone who is constantly making fun of people who follow celebrity gossip. At the same time, it's obvious from the disdainful remarks she makes that she herself follows celebrity gossip very closely. I know this because I don't follow celebrity gossip, and I usually have no idea what she's talking about. I have to bit my tongue not to quote Samuel Johnson's observation of Alexander Pope, "Pope's scorn of the Great is too often repeated to be real; no man thinks much of that which he despises."

It seems to me that the happier course would be to allow herself to be enthusiastic, and enjoy celebrity gossip--or to stop spending any time on it, or wearying others with her objections.

For my own part, I know that once I enthusiastically embraced my passion for children's literature, I dramatically boosted the happiness I got from it. Expressing my enthusiasm increased my feelings of enthusiasm - which fed directly into feelings of happiness.

So let yourself be enthuasistic! Admit that some goofy song is your favorite. Or whatever it might be.

If you'd like to read more about happiness, check out Gretchen's daily blog, The Happiness Project, or sign up for her monthly newsletter.

Comments

[KarenVoices]

Gretchen, I love the idea of a Happiness Project! My own happiness journey into voice-over began with Manilow: http://tinyurl.com/5fb46h

[Promise]

I love this blog! The point is not whether or not you like Barry Manilow, guys! It's the idea that it's fine and dandy to enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy! Stamps? Great! Quilting? Terrific! I think that there is an epidemic of cynicism infecting our society, especially the young. Think of the word "cool." It connotes, distance, maybe even distaste.

I think the media is horrifically guilty of promoting cynicism. Case in point: Barack Obama. When he was a nobody, the media loved him. Now that he is the confirmed Democratic candidate, the media is having a field day putting him down. "Oh, he's not all that!" Read Maureen Dowd...she makes a big point of putting him down, even as she boasts of her personal conversations with him. (argh..)

Let's get back to unadulterated happiness, enthusiasm and joy. Boy do we need it!

[Triangle1]

He has some of the best concerts in the business. A friend dragged me to a concert once and it was very entertaining. Sorry ladies, I hear Barry is not playing for your team, if you know what I mean.

[Theda]

But Barry HAS done something to his face. Obviously a facelift and eyelift. His eyes look so different these days.

[Lauren Cahn - Huffpost Blogger]

See Lauren Cahn's Profile

IS. He is not dead, is he?

[desertdweller]

Apparently you haven't seen Ricky Martin perform....

[Theda]

I've been to two Barry Manilow concerts....quite a few years ago. Barry was enthusiastic and filled with joy on-stage. He seemed like a fun guy.