Tips for Living a Better Life -- From Pope John XXIII

One of the most important strategies of my Happiness Project has been keeping my Resolutions Chart. It provides accountability, it prompts me to review all my resolutions once a day, it gives me the gold stars I crave -- when I manage to follow my resolutions. (If you'd like to see a copy of my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at [e-mail]

I love reading other people's resolutions and their personal commandments, and I was very interested to read the daily decalogue of Pope John XXIII (a "decalogue" is a set of rules having authoritative weight). Pope John XXIII was pope from 1958-1963 and was known as "The Good Pope."

One aspect of the list that's worth noting is the emphasis on taking each day as it comes. This mindset is hugely helpful to me. Instead of allowing myself to become overwhelmed and discouraged by imagining how hard it would be to keep my resolutions for the rest of my life, I just take it day by day (or Bird by Bird for you Anne Lamott fans). Alcoholics Anonymous follows this same approach -- emphasizing "one day at a time" to keep a difficult change manageable.

So here are ten tips from Pope John XXIII about how to live a better life, day to day:

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.
2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.
3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.
4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.
5. Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.
6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.
7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.
8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.
9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.
10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.

I've read this decalogue several times over the years, and every time I read it, a different admonition catches my attention. Today I found myself mulling over #2: "I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself." That's a good resolution for a happiness project. It often seems as though I'd be happy if only other people would behave properly! But the truth is, the only person I can really "improve or discipline" is myself.

Which of the ten rang most true for you?

* Speaking of daily decalogues, I was thrilled to see that Abbey, of the blog Beauty and Thorns, has started her own happiness project, and I was particularly intrigued to read her excellent Ten Commandments and her twelve goals for the year.

* It's Word-of-Mouth Day, when I gently encourage (or, you might think, pester) you to spread the word about the Happiness Project. You might:
-- Forward the link to someone you think would be interested
-- Link to a post on Twitter (follow me @gretchenrubin)
-- Sign up for my free monthly newsletter (about 44,000 people get it)
-- Buy the book
-- Join the 2010 Happiness Challenge to make 2010 a happier year
-- Put a link to the blog in your Facebook status update
Thanks! I really appreciate any help. Word of mouth is the BEST.

 

 

 

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Comments

[billygore2000]

01:19 PM on 06/23/2010

A small observation: John XXIII was referred to as "Good Pope John," not "The Good Pope."

[Brian OHara]

05:05 AM on 06/18/2010

John XXIII was a real hero to me as a kid and still is. He saw the horror of World War II and tried to help. He created a network to help Jews, Gypsies and others flee Nazi Persecution. He risked his life to do what was right.
I contrast that with Savonarola XVI. He thinks the solution to child abuse by the clergy is persecution of gays. It isn't. The church should have sent abusive Priest to Monasteries, instead of back to their congregations to offend again. Then there is Bishop Tobin of RI. Bishop Tobin was furious that people found out that he bullied Patrick Kennedy. My Grandmother used to say never do anything in private that would shame you in public. To her that was good charcter. I would reccommend her advice to Pope Benedict XVI and Bishop Tobin.

[blue53]

04:47 PM on 06/17/2010

John wasn't so big on women having a better life. So John, like is predecessors and those who follow can kiss you know what.

[Paulo1]

03:39 PM on 06/17/2010

Any injunctions by a Pope that don't include. "keep your hands off the Altar Boys" should be ignored without reading.

[monthofmay]

04:58 PM on 06/19/2010

Paolo, it is implied by the kindness and dignity of his life. The decisions to cover up crimes were made on a local level. Roncalli once threatened a business man for hoarding food during the famine in WWII Athens. He would have protected a child with his life. Popes are titular heads, just bishops. The other bishops have the real control. And blue53, what do you know of how Angelo Roncalli treated women? Have you read his biography? It might enlighten you. So many comments here are by people who naively think a Pope can boss around a billion people He is an easy target, but far from the real power in the Catholic Church.

[Proud Bay Man]

04:41 AM on 06/17/2010

"I will dress modestly."
Ha! one of their outfits is worth at least half of my entire wardrobe!

[brahdog]

02:36 AM on 06/17/2010

except for #9, pretty good tips

[ziggystardust]

02:08 AM on 06/17/2010

Pope John XXIII had some nice thoughts. However, reading some of these comments, readers are automatically rejecting anything he says simply because he was a pope. I'd say the pope did a pretty nice service writing such an essay.

These are just "tips." Read them. Reflect on them. Follow them if you wish. It seems like you might have a slightly better day if you keep them in mind. They're not the Ten Commandments. They're not telling you to go out on the street and throw rocks at prostitutes.

[helmboy]

11:50 PM on 06/21/2010

I loved him. I still do.

[Marianne TB]

05:37 PM on 06/16/2010

thanks, I'll pass.

[PresidentRobertBooth]

05:17 PM on 06/16/2010

I doubt the people who suffered abuse during the reign of Mr Roncalli and his successors would have called him "good"

[richdibo]

04:04 PM on 06/16/2010

I printed out the list. Got my winki-dink coloring set and colored over the last 4 on the list with dark green and purple crayons. Made a mess. Pressed too hard with my crayons. I tried to scape off the build-up of crayon with a butter knife. Now its nap time. First some cookies and milk. Chocolate chip. Would Mr. Teddy like some cookies, too? Yum. Yum. Now I say my nap-time prayers. Good little Christian boy.

[richdibo]

02:36 PM on 06/16/2010

The last time I went to church, 2 popes died.

They always came up with another one.

[DavidGW]

01:14 PM on 06/16/2010

“In a rational ethic it will be held laudable to give pleasure to any one, even to oneself, provided there is no counterbalancing pain to oneself or to others.” The Conquest of Happiness, 1930. Bertrand Russell.

[New Yorker]

10:13 AM on 06/16/2010

Before there was a Bible, Jesus established His Church. Before there was a Bible Jesus appointed Saint Peter the earthly leader of His Church. When Peter chose Rome as his place to establish his work, he became the very first "Bishop of Rome", or 'Pope' the name eventually used to confer that singualr high authority on each of the successors to Saint Peter. The leadership continues under Christ to this day. The Pope is another gift to us from a merciful and loving God. It is not at all surprising that like Jesus, the world insults and rejects His Church and His chosen leader. May God Bless and keep our Holy Father Benedict XVI until he joins Jesus in Heaven. If the world loved the pope and the Catholic church, then I might suspect there was something unholy there, but it is as Jesus said, " Take Up Your Cross and Follow Me". The sinful world despises Jesus, the Church and of course the pope, as Jesus told us it would.

[CAHertzfe]

01:29 AM on 06/17/2010

I have to disagree with your statement, "...The Pope is another gift to us from a merciful and loving God...." The Pope is the product of political men of the church. God has nothing to do with it. The Pope is selected based on politics and which country screams the loudest to have a man selected from their home country. Get a grip.

[New Yorker]

10:02 AM on 06/16/2010

Not only did Jesus establish his church, and stated as much without ambiguity, he picked the 12 bishops who would begin the role of the established clergy/priests of that church. The Jews had High Priests, and Jesus continued the tradition with a new more personally involved clergy. It is why Jesus gave to the Apostle's, the power to appoint others, and forgive sins, and follow His Command to continue in perepetuity His Last Supper sacrament of the Eucharist where he transformed bread and wine into his own body and blood. Jesus said " As the Father has sent me, so I also send you, go therefore and make disciples of all nations baptising them in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." God became man and saved us by offering himself in sorrowful sacrifice to atone for the sins of the world. Jesus will come again in glory, and judge the living and the dead. Fear of God is a good thing.

[Lewsgirl]

10:29 AM on 06/16/2010

Good morning N.Y. Thank you for the lecture on Christianity. I concur with most of it, however, the religion or faith given us by Christ is not the same as a church of human organization. One of these organization acting under the banner of Jesus has troubled the world for centuries and grieved humankind with enslavement to their power. Despite the good it has also done, it is surely not what Jesus and his followers intended the message of Christ to be. What is the saying about absolute power corrupting absolutely?

[StillMadMatt]

07:54 AM on 06/16/2010

In reality folks. He hid pedophiles too. You know it as well as I and kids abused back then.

[Jeff Gatlin]

10:32 AM on 06/23/2010

And your proof is?