When You're in a Hurry, Take Your Time

Working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

A few weeks ago, I posted Eight excellent tips for living that my parents gave me. Soon after, I ran into a friend who said, "I loved the tips your parents gave you. My mother had a great one, too. She always said, 'When you're in a hurry, take your time.'"

I thought this sounded like great advice, and now I'm absolutely convinced. Yesterday, as I was rushing to leave my apartment, I ran through the kitchen and pulled out a container of yogurt to gulp down before I left. (I had broken my resolution "Don't let myself get too hungry.")

Because I was hurrying, I wasn't careful about pulling out the yogurt, and I knocked over a plastic container of tapioca pudding my husband had left on the shelf. The container fell out, exploded, and tapioca pudding flew all over my shoe, all over the kitchen floor, and splattered back up into the refrigerator. It took me several trips with a sponge to get everything cleaned up. My shoe may never fully recover.

If I hadn't been in such a hurry, I would have left my apartment much faster.

Looking back, I realize how much hurrying slows me down. I forget to bring my Filofax if I leave in a rush. My husband lost his wallet in a cab because he was running late. Hurrying makes me forget things, drop things, mess up.

I find with email, too, if I have a "Faster, faster, faster!" frame of mind, I answer too quickly. I don't address every issue raised in the email. I don't attend carefully enough to who is sending it. I have trouble, later, remembering the exchange. I delete emails I should keep. In the end, rushing consumes more time.

Of course, I don't want to poke along, either. I'm reminded of Miyamoto Musashi's observation from A Book of Five Rings: "Speed is not part of the true Way of strategy. Speed implies that things seem fast or slow, according to whether or not they are in rhythm. Whatever the Way, the master of strategy does not appear fast....Of course, slowness is bad. Really skillful people never get out of time, and are always deliberate, and never appear busy."

So now when I feel myself rushing, I'm going to remind myself, "Wait, I'm in a hurry -- I need to take my time." Again, the elusive (for me) but ever-important quality of mindfulness!

What about you? Have you found that it helps to take your time when you're in a hurry?

* Yes, I love time-lapse photography of nature, and here's a beautiful sunset over a lake. I love it, but it makes me melancholy too, in a pleasant way. I think there's a Japanese word for that - for the bittersweet beauty of time passing. Anyone know it? *** Update *** I was thinking of the term mono no aware.

* I'm trying to figure out the level of interest for a book tour. If I did a book event in your town, and you'd come, it would be very helpful if you'd either post a comment below or drop me an email at grubin[at]gretchenrubin[dot com]. (Sorry about the weird format - trying to thwart spammers). Just write "tour" in the subject line, and be sure to include the name of your city! Thanks very much to all the people who already answered; the information is enormously helpful.

 

Comments

[cinemaven]

Unfortunately, I've noticed that those in a supervisory position tend to see someone working at a frenetic pace as harder working and more productive than those who work patiently and deliberately. I'm the type of person who never looks like she's hurrying... I've found that means I get kudos for productivity from those I work out of sight of and when I've had supervisors who work beside me, they always seem puzzled that I'm twice as productive as those who are always running and screaming about being overworked. I once had a boss actually go through my desk and look under my blotter because he thought I must be hiding files since I was so caught up without ever seeming to hurry.

I think taking ones time when things are stressful has the added benefit of calming those around you. The people on my team always seem to be much happier than those on the team of Type A hyper co-workers because I don't radiate panic or disorder.

[Chipher]

...to which I'd add that, when things 'go wrong', stop, take a deep breath, and see if you haven't just been visited by the sirens of serendipity. Sometimes the worst 'things gone wrong' are their way of keeping you from charging over the cliff, screaming at your fellow humans, 'get out of my way, -ay, -ay.y., -ayyy....'...

[Arithrianos]

Haste makes waste. Very very true. To a master every aspect of things should be given proper attention, not just what most people focus on, the "outcome", because the master knows the outcome arises out of each moment leading up to it, that you can't hurry through the steps and get the same result, each step taken IS the result, there is no separation between the process and the result, it is all one flow, all one event. This is the basis IMHO of Zen arts like ikebana flower arranging and zen archery, that only when the proper time and care have been taken is the result true, there is no way to hurry it up. Going with Flow is all about taking time needed, all hurry is ego, since the ego only really cares about the result.

[vintagefunk]

Thank you for this insight, and I thank the author also.

[Alexandre Laudet]

I could not agree more with the principle. Yesterday i was rushing putting on lotion, too much came out, some of it splashed on the bathroom mirror and a bit on my blouse, all of which had to be cleaned up...Taking one's time takes practice nowadays, we tend to do everything three times as fast as we did 20 years ago and our parents, worse, grandparents, cannot comprehend the flurry of activity we're in in default mode. Thanks for this article it was a good reminder: patience, focus, deliberate actions and movement rather than mad rush.

[Truth Wins]

Eknath Easwaran wrote a book with the title "Take Your Time". It is very recommendable!