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Hale Dwoskin

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10 Tips to Responsibly Employ the Law of Attraction

Posted: 05/10/11 01:06 PM ET

There's been so much good and bad that's come out of the blockbuster movie and book "The Secret" that it's sometimes hard to discern what to keep and what to throw away. Because of the backlash against "The Secret," some people have decided to throw out the baby with the bath water, so to speak. (By the way, did you ever wonder where that expression came from? Another post, another time.) As one of the 24 original teachers in the movie "The Secret," I have seen it all and have lived to tell the tale.

Some of the good that came out of this phenomenon is that it helped expose millions of people to concepts they never would've heard of without it, and it helped many people move from living life as victims to living life taking more responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and beliefs and how they affect what we experience.

However, these good results, in and of themselves, as many have found, are not always enough to make the law of attraction work in your life in a balanced and fulfilling way.

And so once we see that we have some responsibility in our experience, many of us either turn to blaming ourselves for what we have or don't have in our lives and feel beaten down even further or we feverishly try and manipulate our thoughts, feelings and beliefs in order to impose our will on the world. But neither one of these strategies works.

Because of this, I've composed a partial list of the some of the tips to employ and pitfalls to avoid in order to responsibly create better lives for ourselves and those we care about -- and to create in such a way that our whole planet benefits by our engagement, and not just ourselves.

So, sorry if I ruffle some feathers! However, I need to tell my truth as I see it -- and as I've discovered it -- from working at this for over 35 years with people all over the planet.

Here are the 10 tips you can use to responsibly employ the law of attraction in your life:

1. Stop blaming yourself.
When we feel like we're responsible, it's not an excuse to blame ourselves for every little thing that happens in our lives. Love yourself as you are instead!

2. Take simple and outrageous action.
If we sit around on our duffs and work diligently to try and change how we think and feel and don't get into action, most of us are sorely disappointed. Combine right thinking and feeling with right action and then you truly have a winning combination.

3. It's about giving, not just getting.
When we get caught up in attracting what we want, we can forget that "the giver is truly blessed." Learn to give without wanting something back in return. That's true giving and it opens up the floodgates of creation.

4. It doesn't work to simply put on a happy face.
When we try to think and feel positively, we fall on our faces because we're denying how we truly think and feel and are simply trying to paint a happy face on top of less happy thoughts and feelings. The most powerful way to move forward is to let go of the inner negatives we have and uncover or make room for the inner positive, which are right here, right now. (By the way, most of my fellow teachers in "The Secret" conduct their lives from this perspective.)

5. Don't fake it until you make it.
Once we go down the path of "acting as if" or "telling ourselves a positive story," we often lose touch with what is actually here now and get into magical thinking, which only produces disappointment. Discover what is actually here now and respond to what is.

6. It's not all about you.
When we think we can simply manipulate our thoughts, feelings and beliefs to get what we can, we may forget that we are not alone on this planet and everything any of us does affects everyone else. Start adding what's in everyone's highest and best good to your goals.

7. We are not our thoughts.
Yes, our minds are like computers, and if we put garbage in, we will get garbage out. However, we are not our minds, our thoughts, feelings or beliefs. What we are is that which is aware of or present to all that we experience. And as people begin to experience this for themselves, they also experience tremendous relief and greater clarity.

8. Thoughts are not things.
Sorry! This sounds great, but it's just not true. Thoughts are just symbols that represent memories that we have given meaning to and invest our energy in. If we stop believing in our thoughts as being so real, we can discover something beyond thinking: the source of true power.

9. Open to the flow.
When we try and impose our will on ourselves and everything and everyone else, we lose track of our essence and our humanity. What if everything is unfolding as it should be unfolding in this moment? What if we are all part of the whole, a greater organism, a greater intelligent energy? Please ponder on that.

10. You are enough.
The one who has the most toys when he dies does not win! They leave without their toys. We are not our toys and more of them is not going make us happy. If you turn and look inside, you can discover that right here, right now you are enough as you are -- and this changes everything.

I'm sure there's more I'll want to share with you, but that will come later. I just gave myself many new posts to write. So, stay tuned as I expand on the ideas above -- and a lot more. Enjoy!

* * * * *

We've just released a new free Letting Go App -- Money Now for IPhone and Android phones and tablets. This app is one of our ways of trying to help everyone get back on track and to support everyone in having more abundance and success now -- even with today's challenges. Please feel free to share this with everyone you care about.

By the way, I'd love to hear what you think about this post and what else you'd like me to explore and share. Please post comments, questions, ideas and experiences below.

 
 
 

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09:40 AM on 05/16/2011
Interesting article. I also have been working with and coaching people in the use of the Law of Attraction for many years - since 1986 actually. So I was actually surprised at the impact of The Secret. Last summer, when I was writing my book Future Pull, I put out a query for people who had changed their lives using tools such as vision boards, intention, etc. I ended up with a tsunami of responses and in the end I interviewed people from around the world. I was flabbergasted (love that word! Although it might be spelled wrong) that almost all of them were introduced to the concepts via the movie or book The Secret. So in spite of the many bad sides - like the idea that you can just order up what you want and sit back and wait for it to arrive - it also really made some of the ideas mainstream and was an introduction to the whole idea of self-responsibility for many people.
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Kelley Harrell
08:34 AM on 05/16/2011
Well said!
01:02 PM on 05/13/2011
Thanks again, Hale, for a very enlightening article on a very misunderstood topic.
09:46 AM on 05/13/2011
Thank you for sharing your truth of over 35 years.
It feels as though I can not hold back from sharing some truthes discovered when "letting go" of the old. I came through trainings where The Secret was being promoted, and just after reading the book found it motivating. I had some subconscious trauma to let go of and needed to do some deeper work.
For example. I thought I did love myself, yet when the feelings of the past were let go, it was evident that was not the case. Continuing to let go, allowed for that approval to happen naturally.
Letting go of a sense of 'being controlled', was very freeing.
It allowed me to see that letting go of 'wanting' security stemmed from a lack of having it, so I was just letting go of the lack so I could be open to seeing and having security, a sense of innate knowing awareness. Id l love to clean up domestic violence through promoting more around the discovery of that innate knowing awareness by letting go of those thoughts, feelings and beliefs that cover it. What if we were for safe and harm free relationships so we supported cleaning up domestic violence and presented what is lacking - nurtured loving relationships as opposed to being against fear, traumatised ones. It would be supportive, especially for the victims, to come from 'real love is', rather than, what it is horridly not, emphasising the immediate alert signs of 'lack'.
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Hale Dwoskin
05:48 PM on 05/13/2011
Hi Kate,
Thanks so much for sharing your experience with The Sedona Method and how it relates to The Secret.
Love,
Hale
04:04 AM on 05/13/2011
Thanks for this! Remembering that it's not all about you and that it's a question of giving and not just getting is so healthy. Otherwise you operate like a water pipe that's blocked - in the end, nothing can come through if you try to stop it at yourself.
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Hale Dwoskin
05:49 PM on 05/13/2011
Elizabeth,
Yes both giving without wanting something back in return and receiving without feeling obligated really help to open up the flow.
Love,
Hale
01:17 AM on 05/13/2011
Thank you Hale,
A socially responsible commentary on the Law of Attraction which does not short cut a path of true human development.You have put the Law of Attraction in the context with the Truth in all the major world's religions.
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Hale Dwoskin
05:50 PM on 05/13/2011
Debora,
Wow... I am not sure I would put it that way but I do believe if we are more responsible, more loving and more compassionate it helps us all.
Love,
Hale
11:36 AM on 05/11/2011
Thanks for the post Hale! What I find helps me the most in your 10 steps is not 'blaming' myself or others (#1), I am gaining a better understanding that everyone is really trying to do the best they can. Then doing step #2 can really open up the 'creative juices' in what I can do going forward... especially the outrageous part ; ). It doesn't mean I have to act on it, but I've come up with a few really good (and helpful) ideas this way.
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Hale Dwoskin
02:23 PM on 05/11/2011
Lynne,
I am glad you have your favorites :) Everyone is truly doing their best. When you open to the simplest or most outrageous thing you can do right now to get your goal energy does flow. This is one of the 4 exercises in the new Free app http://moneynow.lettinggo.tv/.
Love,
Hale
03:09 AM on 05/11/2011
thank you, hale...
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Hale Dwoskin
01:23 PM on 05/11/2011
Thank you for reading the post! Love, Hale
01:43 AM on 05/11/2011
Thank you Hale for being straight,

I was going to say straight forward, but that would not be true from my experience,

My honest view is, that you are saying it the way it is right now.

Your words hit the mark, and there is no where to go, just being present.

The more I listen to and read what you say, the more I continue to practice the Sedona Method
It's value to me is limitlessness.

Thank you

Steven Shaps MFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
www.stevenshapsmft.com
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Hale Dwoskin
01:24 PM on 05/11/2011
Steven,
I am glad these words are resonating with you. This list just came out in response to a sense I have inside that there needs to be a redirection of how most people are using The Law of Attraction.
Thanks for your feedback.
Love,
Hale
10:14 PM on 05/10/2011
I deeply appreciate the wisdom and generosity you are sharing with the world, Hale! Your words have a beautiful way of being the breath of fresh air for our information overload heads.

Peace, blessings and love,

-Tony
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Hale Dwoskin
01:25 PM on 05/11/2011
ArtInsideYou,
What you are perceiving is merely a reflection of your wisdom and generosity.
Love,
Hale
07:10 PM on 05/10/2011
Thank you, Hale, for this gentle reminder...
As we be who we are in the moment, so much just drops away. When that happens, it is possible that what we once thought was very important somehow isn't any longer! Expanding our understanding of Law of Attraction in this way is quite helpful.
Kind regards...
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Hale Dwoskin
01:27 PM on 05/11/2011
Colleen,
Yes. When you recognize who or what we are all concepts drop away and so do all Laws. You are left with simply being and responding to what is here now appropriately.
Love,
Hale
04:21 PM on 05/10/2011
Thank you for posting this information. Years ago I focused a lot on using the law of attraction and had pretty good results, but I also landed in some of the pitfalls you mention. For the past few years I've been more flowing with what is (as best I can), and allowing. In the days when I was more focused on "attracting" these tips would have been useful, and I have friends today who very much use the information from The Secret. I'm definitely going to pass this link on!
Blessings!
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Hale Dwoskin
04:35 PM on 05/10/2011
Nicole,
There is a lot of suffering and a lot of miss conceptions around the LOA and The Secret. This article is the first in a series I intend to post to help clear things up and help people get back on the right track. Thanks so much for sharing this too!
Love,
Hale
03:59 PM on 05/10/2011
Thanks Hale
Lots to think about in your 10 points.
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Hale Dwoskin
04:36 PM on 05/10/2011
Christopher,
You are welcome. Yes, there is a lot here and a lot more were that came from that will be posted soon. LOL Hale