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Harmon Leon

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Dream Homes for the 2012 Apocalypse

Posted: 03/30/2012 10:42 am

The Mayan calendar predicts that 2012 will be the apocalypse: the end of the world as we know it! This information comes directly from a culture that ended in 1300. But their calender remained -- so start stocking up on all those bottles of water; we don't want another Y2K on our hands, do we?

With the end of the world lurching around the corner, you might think its a perfect time to invest in real estate. Hell, why not get that high-risk loan: if the Mayans were correct then you'll never have to pay it back.

With the potential looming end of the world in sight, you might ask: "What would be the best home to buy when the apocalypse strikes?" No need to fear (other than if you fear 2012), we have a few real estate picks for doomsday home-owning fans.

Heavenly $2 Million Survival Bunker

Imagine going in and trying to get a bank loan for a survival bunker condo -- a place you'd cherish because you think all of civilization will be wiped out. (Tell the bank manager you'll glad pay off the loan in 2013.) Yes, lay down the welcome mat inside an old ballistic missile in the middle bumf*ck Kansas. Which begs the question: What would be worse, the end of the world or having to live in Kansas?


$3 Million Earth Station

Built by the government during the Cold War crisis, try knocking this fortress down with a tank. Go on -- try and do it; I'll sit and wait. Built to withstand a five megaton blast, this end-of-the-world domain is constructed to be both fire-proof and earthquake proof with two-foot thick walls and ceiling. You'll barely even notice when Mayan New Years Eve rolls into town inside this quaint Battlestar Galactica.

The Safe House of Your Dreams!

This is like James Bond's summer home -- complete with spray fogs to disorientate intruders. Also, when the roads around you collapse, you can be airlifted from the property via the helipad on the roof. Equipped with ballistic, bomb-proof doors -- don't fret when the looting and rioting take place, after the government shoves everyone into FEMA camps, you'll sleep like a baby a post-apocalyptic baby.

Let us know what's your ideal 2012 apocalypse home

 

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