If you're like most moms, while you're reading this you're probably cooking dinner, wiping noses, paying bills, juggling dishes, checking homework, and working an extra job -- all with the phone wedged between your ear and shoulder as you're asking your mom about her back pain.
When you think of what the average mother packs into 24 hours, it's no wonder so many feel just one little wobbly, baby-step away from... total collapse!
Yet, many overworked moms and dads have trouble reaching out for help. They think they're supposed to manage all their family responsibilities on their own. But, is that right... or a big lie? When did having a doula or baby sitter become a sign of being soft and self-indulgent? When did it become taboo to ask for help?
In truth, all parents need support. That's why the ancient adage, "It takes a village to raise a child," has stuck over the years. Whether you live in Turkey or Trinidad -- caring for a child actually does take a village!
Throughout history, parents have always had lots of help: The old-fashioned, hands-on support team of grandparents, aunts, cousins, older siblings, and neighbors -- who lived close by, if not right in the house with us. We could just drop the kids off at the next-door neighbor's for a few hours (even without calling up ahead of time). And, instead of surfing the Web for parenting advice, we'd simply turn to family and friends... society's original search engine.
But about 50 years ago, our parent support team began to unravel putting moms and dads under increasing stress. Increasingly, the neighbors are too busy working to help us, good baby-sitters are hard to find, and our families are spread far and wide.
Added to this burden, American moms have the unhappy distinction (along with moms in Liberia and New Guinea) of living in the only nations without mandatory paid maternity leave to allow them a protected time to nurture their newborns before heading back to the office or factory.
Furthermore, although today's parents may be the most educated in history, they may also be the least experienced when it comes to caring for young children. That means they need lots of information and counsel. Many new parents have never even held an infant before giving birth to their own. (Some feel so unready; they imagine that a shoplifting alarm might suddenly blare when they walk out of the hospital with their new baby!)
So, in order for families to thrive, parents need to reject the myth that asking for help is an extravagance or a sign of weakness. Far from indicating failure, it's actually a sign of courage and strength.
And, when parents ask others for help they actually give their community a chance to help itself because raising happy, healthy children strengthens the entire society.
This is perfectly understood by the Masai of East Africa. When they greet each other, they don't ask "How's business?" or even "How are you?" They ask, "How are the children?" And the correct response is: "All the children are fine." They say, "All the children!" because even these fierce warriors understand that each person must be concerned about the nurturing and protection of all children in order to strengthen the community and create a better future for the entire group.
So please, go ahead and ask for help. Ask a friend to bring over a casserole or ask another mom to watch your tot when you have to work late (and offer to watch hers for a few hours in return). You may be surprised at how willing friends and family are to pitch in.
And, when today's hectic world has you feeling overwhelmed, slow down, and let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect. Take a breath, laugh at how silly life is and don't feel guilty if you need to buy your child's birthday cake at a store rather than making it from scratch. Take the time to focus on what is most important, your child's needs... and your health and sanity!
And, most importantly, remember that no mom is an island unto herself. Seeking help from your own personal village is not only fine, it's one of the smartest things any mother can do.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.