Ricki Lake And The Birthing Biz

Posted January 9, 2008 | 08:38 AM (EST)



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When I was pregnant, I really didn't consider that I would deliver anywhere else except in the hospital with an epidural to numb the pain. I knew there was a chance I might have a C-section because I was having twins. And as many of you know, I even selected the theme song from "Rocky" as my labor soundtrack. The reality is that I'm the mom who was asking her OB whether she could arrange to give me Valium or something else to calm me down because I was convinced I would be a nervous wreck on the big day. And then my husband and I sat through the childbirth film at our Lamaze class. If I wasn't terrified before, the movie clinched it. I just wanted the birth part to be over.

I did not consider that labor and delivery could be as life-changing as motherhood itself.

It turned out to be transformational for former talk show host Ricki Lake, a mother of two and the executive producer of the new documentary,
The Business of Being Born. Lake delivered her first child with the aid of a midwife in a hospital and gave birth to her second baby at home in her bathtub. She says the experiences revealed to her the power of her own body and gave her the courage to face her demons.

"I healed myself," she told me in a recent phone interview. "I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child and I grew up fat. The miracle of giving birth made me love my body." She said the whole experience spurred her widely publicized weight loss and new focus on fitness.

And it's why she's become a passionate advocate for improving maternal care and for educating women about birthing options, especially midwifery. Along the way, Lake even trained to be a doula herself.

"This movie is about choice. It is about women being empowered and educated and to care about the process of birth," Lake said from New York City where she was preparing for the film's debut this week. Watch the trailer on my website, www.thewellmom.com.

The film, directed by Abby Epstein, chronicles the pregnancies of several women (including Epstein herself) as it delves into the evolution of birthing in the US. In 87 minutes, the documentary raises some provocative questions such as why Cesarean sections are the most commonly performed surgeries in the US and rising; why less than 8% of American women turn to midwives for birthing; and why the US has the second worst infant mortality rate in the developed world?

Despite the compelling and intensely personal nature of the material, it wasn't easy to get the film made. Lake ended up financing the project herself over the last three years. Epstein says some TV networks thought it was just too controversial to take on the medical establishment.

"People don't understand the topic and people perceive this as the 'Brown Rice Moms' - those crunchy moms trying to push their agenda on other moms," Epstein explained to me. Instead, she underlines, "The film is about empowerment and about women being robbed of an amazing transformative experience that they deserve to control."

That was the message I took away from the movie. Looking back, I'm not sure I would have traded my epidural. But I might have considered bringing on a midwife or a doula into the process had I been a bit more enlightened on the subject. And I might have gone into the hospital with a more positive, empowered outlook.

I think The Business of Being Born will spur some candid discussions among girlfriends, patients and physicians, husbands and wives and mothers and daughters about the potential for really positive birthing experiences. I would love to hear about your own birth experiences. Please share them here and check out TheWellMom.com for more ideas and inspiration about the pursuit of wellness.

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I had a very normal pregnancy, and because I was 39 years of age, my OB took ultrasounds every month and had me monitored through a fetal/maternal specialist. I was told that I should have no trouble at all with a vaginal birth and that the baby was on the small side, estimated to be born at approximately 6 lbs.
My water broke a week before my due date, and I went to the hospital. At the time, I had only dilated one centimeter and had irregular contractions. After 22 hours, I suddenly got hot, the room started to spin and I was wheeled into emergency surgery.
Guess what? My baby was almost 10 lbs, and the placenta was enormous - much too large for me to be able to pass, ultimately making a vaginal birth impossible.
I recommend to all mothers to be to GO TO A HOSPITAL. You probably won't need a doctor, and all will be well. But your condition can turn on a dime, and if it does, you'll thank your lucky stars for a doctor and that medication.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:01 PM on 01/16/2008

Thank you for this discussion.

I have had a varied set of outcomes with my four birthing experiences and am writing a book about it.

Home births (3), hospital births (1), stillbirths (2).

Did you know that stillbirths are as common as twins?

Pregnant women need to know all the possibilities: from perinatal death, maternal death to a completely successful birth.

We must all enter pregnancy and parenthood with our eyes open and are hearts prepared.

I loved being in labor, each and every time -- well, much less so the last one, but that is why I am writing the book.

Labor and birth, nursing and parenting taught me what my body is designed for.

And like Ricky Lake, I now love my breasts as the nurturing, life-giving things that they are.

I tell women about pregnancy and birth, when they ask, "Be prepared and be excited. Revel in this experience as much as you can. And educate yourself on what you are facing."

We as a species and a society are not prepared for death of any kind, but death of baby or a child is seen as "unspeakable." Somehow, this common eventuality must be able to be discussed without shame or rancor... and without hardening the understandable fear of the pregnant woman.

Eyes Open. That's the best way forward.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:42 PM on 01/10/2008

You want negative. Here it is. I had one child. I was in labor for 50 hours. Intense labor. Enough said. Never had another; never wanted another. End of story.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:13 AM on 01/10/2008

Hi, I found out I'm pregnant last month, and while I am fearful, I am looking more into options such as a doula and midwife. Hopefully there will not be any doctors involved in my delivery.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 02:03 AM on 01/10/2008

As a doctor, I know that things can go downhill very very fast and very unpredictably, even in what should have been a routine uncomplicated labor and delivery. Home-delivery with a midwife will probably be fine most of the time, but there is a risk involved and the stakes are really really high.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 01:59 PM on 01/09/2008

I wish everyone would refrain from telling to moms-to-be their negative views of giving birth. The main emotion for the majority of pregnant moms is fear. I try to tell all pregnant moms that my son's birth was the best, most empowering, most confidence-building experience possible. I now know that I can do ANYTHING! I now appreciate challenges because I know that I will come out the other side stronger, more dynamic, and more full of life. Let's try to be encouraging of moms-to-be, or not say anything at all!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:51 AM on 01/09/2008

My wife gave birth to our four children at home. (Our fifth is due in May.) Three were with a midwife, and the other was before the midwife arrived. She characterizes the experiences as the greatest in her life -- difficult, but more ecstasy than pain.

A natural childbirth is good preparation for having a baby.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:47 AM on 01/09/2008
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