Well Baby, Well Mom

I have a quirky confession to make. I love going to the pediatrician. Over the last two years, I've gleefully counted the days from one appointment to the next for our regular well baby (now well child) check-ups. Shots aside, those precious minutes in the sterile confines of an examination room are often the highlight of my month. I know, you're probably thinking, this woman needs to get a life. But you see, it's in those expectant moments when my wiggly twins are stripped down to their diapers waiting to be weighed and measured, that I can take stock of just how much we've accomplished over the weeks and months that have passed. I can step back and marvel at how much growing and maturing has gone on from one appointment to the next...for them and for me.

As the nurse lays each one out on the scale and then on the crinkly white paper to measure them, each inch and each ounce they've gained gives me confidence that I'm getting this motherhood thing down. And when our doctor observes how much the kids are starting to talk as she entertains them with a sparkly stethoscope or noting how they've quickly progressed from toddling babies to fearless walkers, I feel triumphant. It's like that pat on the back you need every day but rarely get when you are in the trenches of caring for a baby...or two, in my case. Suddenly, all of those times that I question my evolving parenting skills seem far off. These visits help me make peace with decisions about everything from bottle feeding to exposing the kids to the occasional episode of Sesame Street to making use of time-outs...all of those rites of passage that eventually shape an insecure mom into a confident parent. When I see how well my son and daughter are doing through the lens of these regular check-ups, I can let some of the agonizing go and just relish the fact that we are so blessed to have happy, healthy kids.

Sadly, now that Ian and Samantha have reached age two, our regular visits with the doctor will trickle down to once or twice a year. The odd ear infection or stomach bug will merit some face time. But I know those meetings won't provide real moments for reflection. That's not the purpose. Rather, sick appointments will be quick in and out of the office affairs with prescriptions scribbled and directions gently advised. I'll miss my own check-up as a mom. But I am so grateful that I've had access to an excellent, caring physician during these formative months for my children and for me, as a new parent weathering the transition.

I think about all of this against the backdrop of the healthcare debate raging in this country during this most historic election year. I know my family is blessed to have excellent care and that we can afford it. It is a gift. Now that I am a mom, I know from my own personal experience that access to quality healthcare for children is essential to good parenting. While Medicaid and State Health Insurance Plans (S-CHIP) may provide a safety net for millions of families, there are still many more whose children are either uninsured or underinsured. This must change. Not only do regular well baby visits prevent disease and ensure early screening for lead toxicity, anemia, TB, hearing and vision loss and a host of other concerns, the visits are often the only time parents have the chance to really discuss their young child's development - and prepare for what the next stage will bring. I think it is fair to say that every mom could benefit from the guidance of those well visits. I look at it from the perspective of well baby, well mom. As our babies grow, so do we. And it is essential to be able to both reflect and gain insights on where we've come from and where we are going on this long and winding road.

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Comments

[shedances]

I too believe that a very good patient-pediatrician relationship is valuable. My pediatrician was there when I was a first-time parent, and helped me out so much even when she herself was going through a difficult divorce & changing practices. She was/is a real gem!

Kelli

[Pandu]

Wow. This is pretty much the opposite of our medical philosophy, which is to keep doctors away from my kids as much as possible.

We're getting ready for our fifth baby, and only our oldest has ever seen a doctor. After that one time, we decided to only bring them in in case of a medical emergency. So far none of our kids have ever been sick for more than a day.

[Necron99]

Oh my.

[loril]

I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I loved the well baby visits, too. The way I explained it to my husband was that, when I was working in my profession, I was used to having yearly performance evaluations and having the time to discuss my goals and outline my projects for the upcoming year. And yeah, I was also used to hearing the praise and words of encouragement during these evaluations and discussions.

As a stay at home mom, I get almost no feedback. I amplify my "failings" and the areas where we are struggling (why I can't I get her potty trained? how can I help her learn not to interrupt so much when others are trying to speak? Will she be ready for preschool in the fall?) And I don't pay as much attention to all the successes and good stuff. (wow! She is learning so many words, she knows her ABCs, she counts to 10, she is trying to learn to spell! She is such a good eater!)

Heariing this very knowledgeable and competant professional tell me how well my daughter was progressing was not only reassuring to me as a mother, as in: "my daughter is healthy and hitting her milestones well"...It was also a self confidence booster.

Now that she is 3, I do miss the opportunity to "check in" a few times a year. However, I remind myself that she is stronger now, more able to fight off illness, and less 'fragile". These are all good things too. And, although my daughter, oddly enough, does not seem to mind her doctor visits (even when she is ill)...I suppose she prefers not having to go in so often these days.