Discovering someone you thought you knew has lied to you, it changes you.
I'm not talking a white lie, as in, "You do NOT look fat in that white, horizontal striped dress," but the thought-out, manipulative lie.
The lie told because of malicious actions taken against you, actions that were thought out in advance. Actions that were not impulsive, rather calculated.
The lie that was created years ago, kept alive by many who spun the truth to protect the offender.
The lie that was told to your face, the same face you have stared at for years and because of that, despite your inner organs and soul sounding off the alarms, you want to believe them.
When you've asked over and over again for the truth and are still presented with a lie, even after you have the black and white facts to back things up -- anger settles in.
Why?
Why are they lying to you? Who does it benefit? Them? Are they embarrassed at their abhorrent actions, so they lie? Probably. Because somewhere deep down inside they know what they are doing, what they have done is wrong, so they lie to protect themselves.
To convince themselves that if they lie enough, perhaps it will become reality. That they can save face and put on their do-gooder mask for the rest of society, even play the role of martyr or victim, which further drives you insane because you want to scream -- SCREAM -- and let everyone know of their fraudulent behavior.
You start to question your sanity. Especially when you confront the liar and they twist and turn reality, which causes doubt to creep in. Because of your optimistic heart you want more than anything to believe that this person, a person you cared about, loved, considered a friend, maybe even a family member -- you want to believe they would never betray you.
Being lied to, it changes you. You start to close off your heart. You suspect everything and become paranoid. It causes insecurities because somewhere in your brain, being lied to makes you feel worthless. How could someone disrespect you that much? Are you not worthy of the truth?
Questions swirl about in your head. What other lies did they tell you? Do I even know them? How can I ever trust anyone ever again?
Being lied to takes its toll. There's part of you that wants justice, for the world to know, to see the liar for what they really are. You go over the lies in your head, wondering why in the world a lie was necessary in the first place?
Then there's the hard part. The part where you have to dig deeper inside your soul than you have ever before. You rip off the layers and layers of hurt to find your truth. Once you've discovered your truth, hold onto it. Put a protective white shield around it to deflect the sour words.
Find your strength and recognize their lies have nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them. Their lies represent their insecurities and inability to live an authentic life. To tell the truth means they have to hold themselves accountable and they are too cowardly to admit to that.
Be wary, but try to trust again. There are truth sayers out there. Those that might not say you look "over-finished" in that white, horizontal-striped dress, but respect you and themselves enough to know that you can indeed, handle the truth.