Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? If you aren't sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. The intuitive answer -- that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others -- is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.
Here are nine things successful people do differently:
Get Specific
When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. "Lose 5 pounds" is a better goal than "lose some weight" because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you'll "eat less" or "sleep more" is too vague -- be clear and precise. "I'll be in bed by 10 p.m. on weeknights" leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you've actually done it.
Seize The Moment To Act On Your Goals
Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it's not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.
To seize the moment, decide in advance when and where you will take each action you want to take. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g. "If it's Monday, Wednesday or Friday, I'll work out for 30 minutes before work"). Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300 percent.
Know Exactly How Far You Have Left To Go
Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress -- if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don't know how well you are doing, you can't adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress frequently -- weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal.
Be A Realistic Optimist
When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do, don't underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.
Focus On Getting Better Rather Than Being Good
Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality and our physical aptitudes are fixed -- that no matter what we do, we won't improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves rather than developing and acquiring new skills.
Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong; abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.
Have Grit
Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime and earn higher college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first grueling year at West Point. In fact, grit even predicts which round contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.
The good news is, if you aren't particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often than not believe that they just don't have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking -- well, there's no way to put this nicely -- you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence and good strategies are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.
Build Your Willpower Muscle
Your self-control "muscle" is just like the other muscles in your body -- when it doesn't get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals.
To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you'd honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching or try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up or just not bother, don't. Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur (e.g. "If I have a craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of dried fruit.") It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that's the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.
Don't Tempt Fate
No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it's important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it, you will temporarily run out of steam. Don't try to take on two challenging tasks at once, like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time. And don't put yourself in harm's way; many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.
Focus On What You Will Do, Not What You Won't Do.
Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g. "Don't think about white bears!") has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior; by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
If you want change your ways, ask yourself, "What will I do instead?" For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like this: "If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down." By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.
It is my hope that, after reading about the nine things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember: You don't need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It's never what you are, but what you do.
(For more on using each of these strategies, check out my new book Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals.)
This post originally appear in the Harvard Business Review.
Follow Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/hghalvorson
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I came from a relatively poor family and have only an associate degree. In my family, that's success, because I was the first one to even go to college, much less get any kind of degree.
My house is NOT the finest or newest by a long shot, but it's roomy and looks decent. I can afford it and one of these days it'll actually be paid off.
My car is a recent middle-line ordinary model—it's comfortable, and when I turn the key it starts. That's all I really require to get around.
I work out of my home and make a decent salary,and the people I work for appear to be very pleased with my work. I am a specialist in what I do, with an occupation that absolutely cannot be farmed out to a foreign country.
And I have a decent nest egg put away for retirement, and still adding to it at age 62.
Just an ordinary person living happy—That's my success.
But for some this would not be success, because their mindset and goals are different.
Well defined objectives still require the effort to execute them successfully.