In honor of Mother's Day, I would like to share with you an experience in Sierra Leone that stands out in my mind as vividly as the day it happened. A young mother I'll call Stella came to the International Rescue Committee's office in the city of Kenema, seeking help. This was unusual because the IRC supported a regional women's center that was, by design, centrally located and much easier to get to than our actual offices. But here was Stella, with her small daughter on the floor by her feet.
I sat down and, with one of my colleagues interpreting, heard Stella's story.
Stella was 21 years old when I met her. She was 13 when the war in Sierra Leone started and 14 when she was raped for the first time by rebels. I will skip the more gruesome details, but after the war ended, Stella was branded as "damaged goods" because of the stigma of rape in her community. No one wanted to marry her -- and for a woman in Sierra Leone, marriage is not an option: it is a necessity for survival.
Finally, when Stella was 19, a man in her village who was 30 years her senior agreed to marry her. The beatings began immediately, and after Stella gave birth to a girl, the frequency of the beatings increased. Stella told me she could not remember the last day that had gone by when she had not been beaten.
As her story unfolded I realized Stella had walked 18 miles to the IRC office for help after hearing of a "program that cared about women." I asked her what she wanted to happen. Without hesitation, she lifted her daughter up from the floor and onto her lap and said, "I want to make sure that my daughter does not suffer the way I have suffered."
You may not know this startling statistic but, globally, one in three women will be raped or abused in her lifetime. Around the world, mothers like Stella struggle to protect their children from the violence and abuse that they themselves have endured. These are brave women who stand up against discrimination, inequality and cultural traditions, so that their daughters won't have to experience violence and abuse. They want to ensure their daughters are not forced into marriage at the age of 14, but instead are sent to school because their education is valued as important.
In the weeks and months following our meeting, the IRC gave Stella a temporary home in our women's center, along with medical care, food, clothing and tuition for her school-age son. We helped her establish a business selling grilled plantains, so that she can earn a living. We also connected Stella with a local women's group that will provide a supportive environment as she continues to heal and care for her children.
But the greatest thing the IRC gave Stella was hope: the hope that her daughter's life could be different.
This Mother's Day, I am remembering Stella, a mother who walked 18 miles on the rumor of a program that cared about women and girls. How do we ensure that Stella's daughter and millions of other women and girls don't experience what Stella experienced?
To Help
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