Have you caught the last two episodes of The Bachelorette? Ashley has continued to talk about Bentley, and like many of you, I've been counting the number of times she says his name per episode. Interspersed in all this talk of Bentley, something else very business-like about this process has emerged. Perhaps it is because ABC News 20/20 just aired a special called We Find Them that covered online dating scams, and that I have the honor of serving as one of ABC News 20/20's "Web Avengers." We Find Them showcased how innocent women were developing 'feelings' for men they had 'met' online. These feelings were based on photos, words in the profile, online chats, and sometime even phone calls, but never an in-person encounter. All of which led them to be scammed into giving up money to a complete stranger thousands of miles away that they had never even had a first date with. Turn now to Ashley and the remaining bachelors. All of them are talking more and more about visible signs of interest -- signs they can see in their real world encounters. Ashley looks happier, she looks like she's here in the moment, she acts as if she's interested. This holds true for the guys as well. They are all past the stage of talking about where they are from, what jobs they have had, and who they have dated in the past. The resumes have been thoroughly reviewed and now all attention is directly focused on the interaction between our Bachelorette and each Bachelor.
So why are we talking about reviewing resumes and these real world interactions? When we set out to hire someone for a job opening, the first thing we do is review their resume. We look at prior education, work experience, special skills, and past successes. The more we look at certain resumes the more we develop a certain 'feeling' towards a candidate (the bachelor, the online dating profile). And yet, we will never ever hire a person based on their resume or profile. We'll call them on the phone and screen them asking all sorts of questions looking for signs of danger as well as the right fit. Then we will meet them in person and grill them with questions to see how they do under pressure, how much they are into you as you are into them, how personable and likeable they remain as they stick to their well-prepared talking points. Then we will have our colleagues meet them and do the same thing. We will even share a meal or two. We will then go through a similar process with several other candidates. And when we think we have found the right one, we'll call their prior employers and ask more questions. Finally, we will make a decision. This is the person we want to date and build a relationship with -- this is the person we are going to hire. We will call them and hope our final choice says the same in return. Yes, I would like to start a relationship with you, too -- yes, I would like the job.
Step back and take a look. Aren't online and real world dating just like hiring someone at work?
As the Founder and CEO of SSP Blue, an online safety strategy company, I find myself going through this same process each time I choose a partner to work with.
So when you embark on your next dating adventure, think of where you are in the hiring process. It will help balance the emotional with the rational side of love and happiness.
Let's see what lessons about the business and digital worlds next week's episode of The Bachelorette brings.
Until then, just remember - sometimes the business world can give you answers about love.
For more info on Hemu's role as a Web Avenger for ABC News 20/20 new special We Find Them, check out this site.
THE spot for your favorite fan theories and the best Netflix recs. Learn more