Numerous studies show that the majority of us have health vulnerabilities. What are yours? Right off the bat, if you are an average American, you're plump, and your health is at risk. Millions of Americans, all ages, are literally eating years off their lives.
Consider how most of us attempt to address this vulnerability and fail. I'd bet that you know at least two dozen people in the last year or two who have taken the traditional routes -- following diets, going to support groups, or going cross country to a weight rehab resort. The best scenario usually results in weight change, sudden change of habits, but a few months later, the pounds are back.
Note that in these traditional weight loss routes, the individual is making a solo effort. Even in the case of support groups, the individual must be able to self-motivate to take advantage of the group. Yet, more often than not, the individual is unable to maintain the regimen, skips meetings, and slides back into the bad habits that made them fat. As to following a diet, the intention might be there, but it is another thing to do the cooking and shopping for your means, let alone have the discipline to stick to it. These solo efforts rarely work, and if you are one of the plump, you know this to be true. Care-Soliciting might yield a different result.
Care-soliciting is one of your instinctual tools given to you by Mother Nature for the purpose of helping you thrive. Its specific evolutionary function: to help you protect your vulnerabilities by asking for help. Your early ancestors who developed the "adaptation" to ask for help increased their chances for survival.
Because of the scientific process, natural selection, asking for help is part of our human nature, ingrained into our bio-physiology. We have numerous internal organs and systems that, if running sub par, send out a signal for help. One example is the endocrine system, particularly the thyroid gland. When the gland is not producing sufficient thyroid hormones to keep the body's metabolism running efficiently, a signal is sent to the pituitary gland. It responds by producing hormone that travels back to stimulate production of thyroid hormones. In effect, one gland asks another for help and gets it.
Even before a baby sees the light, it has already established a complex communication system in which it is able to signal to its mother's body to meet its needs. Upon birth, the infants facial expressions and vocalizations continue the function that communicates to the mother, "I am vulnerable and I need you to help me," and these communications help the infant survive.
Clearly, the below average student who asks for help to protect his or her vulnerability in biology is being smart. Employees who ask their mangers for help in developing their skills are the ones who develop to their fullest. The couple who asks for each other's help will enhance their marriage.
So if you want to have a permanent weight loss, Mother Nature would recommend that you do what is natural: care-solicit. In this case, you would care solicit from either your partner or one of your supportive friends to help you eat healthier and exercise daily. Most importantly, you would have to express to them that you are incapable of doing this by yourself -- you have tried numerous times to no avail. Tell them you need their help and how they can help you.
In the case of your partner, it might be that for the next month or two, he or she takes responsibility for shopping for the foods you can eat, and maybe even prepare them for you -- it won't happen if you rely on yourself.
Or, you might ask a friend to start an exercise class with you -- you've started many in the past but quickly drop out. The buddy system could be the support you need to achieve success, and the time spent together strengthens your friendship.
What makes care soliciting difficult is you have to acknowledge your weakness--you do not have the ability to do this by yourself, and your fear that you might be refused the help you need. As we all know, nobody likes to "feel vulnerable," and nobody likes to be rejected. However, by acknowledging your weakness, and assuming you have a strong and mutually supportive relationship with your partner or friend, there is a good chance that your 911 call will be answered.
Not having to do it by yourself takes some of the burden off yourself and a lot of that extra weight off yourself, too.
PLEASE NOTE: popular media and conventional mental health messages are often to the point that well adjusted individuals take care of their own business. While this is true, well adjusted individuals also have strong support systems and frequently ask others to help them achieve their goals.
Becoming comfortable with "feelings of vulnerability," and realizing that asking for help is a healthy and natural action to take will make it easier for you to care-solicit, and thrive in life.