06/28/2007 03:58 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Teeing Off : No President Rocks

Courtesy of The Henry Rollins Show

I have come to the conclusion that no president will ever rock my world like Ozzy Osbourne does. Iggy Pop fucking rules and The Ramones saved Rock and Roll. No president will ever fill me with that kind of admiration, awe or respect. I will never listen to a State of the Union Address with the volume on 11. I will always cringe and run away when a president picks up a musical instrument. There is no doubt that the 2008 presidential election will be one of the most watched, talked about and anticipated events for years to come and now that men and women are throwing their hats into the ring, we are starting to get an idea of who the players will be. At this point, the Democrats seem to be in the news more than the Republicans, perhaps because they have a female candidate and an African-American candidate, bringing out misogynist and racist sentiments from the neo-conservative douchebag pundits on radio and television. The African-American presidential hopeful, Democrat senator from Illinois, first name, Barack, has a middle name that might get your luggage inspected, Hussein, and a last name, Obama, that pill popper, three-time divorcee and increasingly bizarre radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh observed, rhymes with Osama. Mr. Limbaugh has also characterized Mr. Obama, who is of mixed race, as a "half-rican." Hillary Rodham Clinton draws extreme reactions wherever she goes. But it's Barack Obama who has been called a "rock star" by the press and seems to have a genuine grassroots fan base, but he is not a rock star. North Carolina Democrat and presidential hopeful, John Edwards is intelligent, well spoken, has many fans, but is not a rock star. The Republican senator from Arizona, John McCain, a long time politician and Vietnam war veteran, is in the race for sure and is definitely not a rock star. This far out from the elections it might be a waste of time to speculate on who will be nominated but we know that the invasion and occupation of Iraq will certainly be a topic, if not THE topic dominating the election. I'm hoping for someone who will bring change and prosperity to America but I don't have my hopes up. We should certainly have hopes as well as a whole lot of reasonable demands but you must remember, these people are politicians and will say damn near anything to get you to drive off the lot with that used car, if know what I mean. We should hold all politicians to a very high degree of scrutiny and suspicion, but no, they are not rock stars. They will never be rock stars. There has never been a president like Mick Jagger or Jimi Hendrix so cut it out.

-- Henry Rollins