It creeps on you...the scarcity mindset. Your words form from its lush black depths, it coils into your brain and shoots out of your mouth, becomes your thoughts, veers your direction before you even see it coming. It's a chameleon hunkering in the shadows, and when doubt forms in your fathomless recesses, you hear it...in the tones of your voice. It takes over your accountability, makes hope in yourself fade to a tattered whisper.
I hear people gripped in its talons. "Why doesn't he like me?" Because you fear you have scarce value. "Why won't the client sign?" Because some leading part of your communication is drowning in scarcity, is coaxing the outcome to failure...this happens when you think you are not worth much.
Definitely not a catch.
When we think of, or when we read about the scarcity mindset, a majority of people likely reference their business experiences. They may liken the theory to the exact opposite of the abundance mindset, and while I am a little "woo-woo," yeah...the abundance mindset is real.
You have heard that your thoughts inform your decisions, and therefore...they also create your life.
It's true.
You cannot and will not find the best version of yourself if your opinion of yourself is damaging, hopeless, if you are fearful.
You will be held back because your belief will not allow you to advance. No matter how many times you wish and wish and wish to make progress on that rutted road.
The scarcity mindset is an overlap. When you look at people who are happy in the various core areas of life: family, career, spirituality, for starters, a theme emerges. The faith is spread across the intersections of these elements. It is virtually impossible to believe in your potential in one segment of your life, yet execute with dubious undertones in another. Not with full and robust confidence anyway.
Because the scarcity mindset is self-sabotaging, it is also circular. Keeping you trapped unless you do the hard work to break free of the loop.
Begin with changing your thoughts...one small alteration. Apply it. Try this out (as read from a meme.) Stop complaining for 24 hours. You will not hear your voice. You will exercise control over your words and as you do, the belief that you are the one at the wheel will embolden within you until you DO realize you are the captain.
Refusing to complain aloud has a wondrous effect on our insides, too. Call it the truncated negative energy that you have effectively shut down, but refusing to wail aloud, swaps the record in your mind, too. This statement, overheard, hits me: "Maybe you are healed from hearing what other people said to you, whatever hurt you...but you still had to hear it." It continues to echo. The same holds true for your own voice...when you listen to it. And when you stop it.
This new refusal to embrace the darker side of circumstance reboots your inner world, too.
How do I know?
I spent many years blaming a shitty childhood on the fact I couldn't catch a break in my career, in love, in LIFE, many years trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be...and of course, I failed. Because I was not aiming for goals of my own making. So, I simply stopped. This shit works.
A ray of light infiltrated my head and disintegrated my shadows. I stopped complaining. I said things like, "I'm sorry," "I'm responsible," "I hurt you," instead. When I took ownership, it transformed every detail I had ever fretted over.
When you take ownership you also truly take ownership of a deeper meaning within you...who you are. You reinforce your goodness, your strengths, your right to be human and to express frailty without condemnation. And so...when events take a dip, you don't panic. Instead, you issue a little self-love, slather on a dollop of forgiveness, squirt out a dab of wisdom, applying it liberally...and life goes on.
My life is vastly different because I opened myself to living without scarcity. There is nothing of scant supply in my existence and guess what? There is nothing lacking in yours either.
You are perfect as a bumbling, triumphant, vulnerable, trying, reaching human. And so is everybody freakin' else.
When you embark on a project, when you plan a date, when you interact with your family, do so knowing your worth, do so believing people love you because you deserve it. And be harsh in defending your right to live this way. Those who do not hit the level of love you need, do not get to go any further with you. Boundaries, always a good thing. Announce your edict to sever ties absent of emotion and filled with the peace of who you are leaving...be it in business or pleasure.
So, you...embrace life in all its charming ugliness and love yourself anyway.
Believe you are a force who is resilient enough to take a few tough hits. You are Teflon. You will stand the test of time. You can survive entombed in a landfill for twenty-thousand years...or however long it takes Teflon to return from whence it came.
And no matter what, never cede your ability to enjoy your life to self-doubt based in history, childhood, divorce, alienation, abandonment, enablement or any other "ment" or experience.
The abundance mindset will open doors, through sheer belief. The sheer belief becomes the fuel to obtain what you desire and that is what leads to the ultimate parade of entrances waiting for you to enter. These doors of varied opportunity are yours, but you won't find them if you live eclipsed within the scarcity mindset.
Conversely, adopting abundance as your go-to approach ensures your deepest confidence soars in synergy with your outward actions, and so, you win more. More love. More proliferation of whatever you want: increased revenue, professional opportunities, the influence to sway events and opinions. Whatever grows from confidence, becomes inevitable reality.
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Original article appeared at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission.
Photo credit: Getty Images