06/01/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Free Yourself of Trying to Be Like Others

Are you guilty of comparing yourself to others? Have you wanted something that you saw someone else accomplish and when you got it you realized you didn't really want it? I totally get this and know what this feels like to be in the comparison game. Many people think that because they study yoga, practice meditation, make a vision board and live an "aware" life that they are free of comparing themselves to others. Guess what? It's not true because it takes years to really get free of this habit. I know for myself that I have been inspired, influenced and impressed by many people in my life and then slowly slipped down the slippery slope of comparing myself to them. And then fell into wanting what they have and I know you have too.
When does it stop? You may be wondering, what can I do to make sure that I am being authentic to myself and not getting caught by inspiration and going for what others have to make me happy?

Now, I look back and see where I was inspired and how I was taken off my own journey focusing on what was outside of myself. Have you done this too? Don't feel bad it's okay your human and part of your experience is to begin to wake up and stop the madness. Yes, stop the madness and get back on your path. It's normal to be inspired then forget by comparing your experience to others. Personal experience can never be duplicated that is what makes us unique. (get this one it's powerful)

This happens to so many of us all the time creating suffering and I get tons of emails talking about this very topic. Getting caught up in the comparison game shows up on your yoga mat, at work, in relationships, in your life and will stop when you choose to listen to your personal happiness from an authentic place within you. You do have to slow down and get quiet to really tap into this power.

Please don't get mad at yourself or beat up on yourself for doing this anymore. Just watch and see where you can change direction and get back on course. When I teach yoga classes and intensives, I see many students look around for guidance and some compare themselves and then feel bad. This does not help anyone especially the person who is comparing themselves to others, which really can't ever be done. (I am repeating this so you really get this!) There is only one of us and that means we are the best us we can be even when we don't do anything.

One of my teachers said to me, "We are destined to succeed", and now I do my best to live in this truth everyday. We all have different definitions of success and it can be measured in many ways and I suggest for today to look at the love and beauty in your life to measure how much you can appreciate to shift your looking at others.

I always find it humbling to see some of the happiest people seem to have next to nothing and simply are grateful for the gift of life. What's their secret? What I always hear is that they are thankful for everything they have been given and trust in life. Where are you at in your life with trusting life?

The key is: STOP the comparison game and stop creating your own suffering. Sounds easy and you must pay attention to how you are playing this game and be ready to step out it once and for all! Are you ready?

Here are 3 easy steps to take to check in & kick the comparison game for good!

1. Watch your mind chatter and see where you are comparing yourself. Make note of it and then cross it out and say everyday aloud, "My time is right now & I am destined to succeed."

2. Every morning and night write down your appreciation for everything! (Your struggles, for being where you are and the many blessings you have in your life.)

3. Check in with your goals and make sure they connect with where you are now in your life, if not then change them and work towards what makes you truly happy in your heart.

Hillary Rubin, Global Transformational Yoga Expert, certified Anusara teacher, author, speaker who overcame a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis when working at Prada by using yoga as her foundation. Today living symptom and medication free, she produced her own DVD - Yoga Foundations and has been featured by Fit TV, Yoga Journal, American Fitness and featured on the March Cover of LA Yoga Magazine & in the May issue of Yoga Journal.
Hillary is working on her first book with the forward by Michael Bernard Beckwith, Founder of the Agape Int'l Community & Author of Spiritual Liberation.

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