I was sitting listening to a recording about practicing being in the moment from my coach Marie Forleo when I heard these words, "what if there is nothing wrong with you". Now I have been teaching this for over seven years because I heard these words over 10 years ago in a yoga class that totally woke me up from a deep sleep of ignorance of what really is. My students just like I did shift in ways they never thought possible. The love of self emerges and life gets a bit easier. The mind is great because it tells us our name, where we have to be and gets us home at the end of the day. Our mind is so funny, tricky and complex that it fools us into thinking it knows what we need to be happy which is to start fixing what is wrong.
Now, there are so many levels to our mind and it is the great multi-tasker. Right now you are reading this and also thinking and so ready with your opinion that you loose just being with this idea. It works and works and works. That is why our yoga practice is so powerful as it heats the body to cool down the mind to open to the space of being ok with what is. Even in a yoga class or any other group activity when you compare yourself you are activating this same theme of there may be something wrong with you it's so embedded in our programming it's a bit scary.
I share this with you because hearing these words again as a beginner has opened me to a new level that there really is nothing wrong with me or you. I will share with you and be totally transparent with you because my quest to get better for so many years was all about that -- fixing what was wrong with me. I used to spiral into modes of feeling so badly and asked my boyfriend at the time -- what is wrong with me?
Self help books are great and when the intention behind is to enhance or deeper our experience in my opinion this is a great way to start but if it's to fix something "wrong" then watch out. Just pause for a moment and check in to see what comes up for you. Are you a seeker to fix or to enhance yourself? There is not a right or wrong just become aware so you know more about how you are meeting the world and then you get to choose to live from a place of truth.
But what if there is really nothing wrong with you? That's a big question and may pull the rug out from under your personal programming or story you are telling yourself. Or even better the voice in your head that sounds just like you -- what is it telling you?
So, here I am listening to these words as if I never heard them before and I had an "a-ha" moment. You know those one's that hurt you deep in your being. A friend of mine actually said to me when is an a-ha is not painful. I totally laughed out loud and was not able to find one that wasn't because when we catch our blindspots it is totally awkward and painful. In our minds we identify changing with our having to fix something that is broken or just not good and what if it's to just enjoy more of life?
Before you want to blame or point a finger there are messages everywhere that support this "fixing" mentality. Religion puts ideas out there as does the media to keep up spinning our wheels to "fix what is wrong" or make it right when all along we have and are in the perfect place in our life.
I know you may be saying out loud you don't know my life it's all wrong Hillary. And I get that because I have had the rough upbringing and it does not have anything to do with it. When we are children we learn how to be. Kinda like an imprint on our organic blueprint and we come out as we do. Then as adults we are bombarded with myriad ways to fix what is wrong with self help or other programs. All I can say is the model is broken saying there is something wrong with us. Can you be open to that?
Hearing those words again opened up a box of my taking action to fix myself in other areas that I felt I was not good enough. In a way I was reacting and living my life like this and had no idea. Yes, I felt like a dunce and then had to put the kabosh on that. I know you've been there and the key to move out of this auto-pilot fixer mode is awareness.
Take the time to see how you look at babies, a sunset, a tree, flower and how you take it in as it is. I doubt you ever say well that sunset could have had a bit more orange or red then it would have been a great one. It just is perfect as it is. Good news is you are made of the same stuff and just have to switch the gears. Every time you are doing something to "fix yourself," catch it and then come back and take a deep breath, feel your body and find something you can appreciate in your environment.
I really want you to get this so one more time:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! And love where you are right now even if your mind is saying the opposite. We are all human and know I am with you on this practice to loving myself more every day.
Warning: This is a practice like anything else and may cause you to live your life with more awareness. And you may enjoy all it has to offer you outside your inside voices and begin to make them your friends or kick them to the curb.
About Hillary:
Hillary Rubin, a certified Anusara Yoga ® teacher and Transformational Yoga Expert was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1996 while working at Prada. Instead of succumbing to the condition and allowing it to limit her, she chose to find and use all-natural remedies making yoga her foundation that led her to be symptom and medication-free today. Hillary is the creator of the DVD series Yoga Foundations and has been featured by Fit TV, Yoga Journal, LA Yoga and Fit Yoga magazines and is dedicated to teaching people how to transform life's challenges into opportunities to achieve optimal health, peace of mind and well-being. To Claim Your FREE Quick Start Audio Series And Step Out of Pain and Feel Great in Your Body Without Ever Doing A Single Pretzel Pose Goto - www.HillaryRubin.com