(Warning: this article contains spoilers!)
Ay yi yi, Nancita. You've gone and done it now, you're officially living la vida loca. But I digress...
We rejoin the wacky world of the Botwin clan as Shane sits bleeding in the back of a cushy town car with Cesar attending to the wound (revealing that he was once an army nurse) and Nancy having a mom meltdown as Esteban realizes he is under attack from Pilar. Vodka all around; in the wound and down both Nancy and Shane's gullets.
Meanwhile, back in the (sort of) real world, Doug sets up a sidewalk stand of You're Pretty! Cosmetics and has a turf war with a gang of nature scouts at a nearby table. After a customer of Celia's stops by to try and replenish her supply, Doug finally realizes why Celia's cosmetics are selling like hotcakes. And it's on, baby.
Post bullet wound, the Botwins repair to the protected world that Esteban's casa provides. Shane is fussed over, Silas is urged to backpack around Europe with an unlimited supply of cash (he declines), and Nancy confronts Cesar in the back garden. She knows that he's Pilar's informant. It's all falling into place. Cesar tells her Esteban's happiness is his happiness. "That's pretty gay, Nurse Cesar," retorts Nancy and shoots him in the shoulder.
Dr. Alanis -- I mean Audra -- is called to Casa Reyes and patches up Shane's arm wound. Andy is buzzing around her like a bee near honey, trying to get her to date him again. But Dr. Audra knows the truth; he's got it bad for Nancy, always has and always will.
Now that Doug knows the score (in every sense), he confronts Dean Hodes who fesses up that yes, Celia is dealing drugs in cosmetic cases. At this point, she's used him to move her into her classy new condo and thrown him out the door. "I was gonna be a drug kingpin," he mourns. "I was gonna be Tony Montana!" Dean and Doug decide to join forces to teach Celia a lesson. My money's on Celia here, because they're such losers. This is the show's 420 Moment for the week.
The all-powerful Pilar has moved the pieces in the chess game again, and has withdrawn Esteban from the gubernatorial race. Esteban grows some cojones and decides not only to finally marry Nancy, but to run independently.
Andy's wedding gift to Nancy is to sign over his baby daddy rights back to Esteban, but he can't stomach actually attending the wedding. Said ceremony takes place in Esteban's front room, with only Silas and Shane there to bear witness alongside Esteban's goons and the priest. Ignacio, in a powder blue tux, wipes away a tear. Yes, our Nancy is now Senora Reyes. Ay Carumba!
Before we close the curtain again on the Reyes-Botwins, we glimpse Mrs. Reyes visiting the nefarious Guillermo in prison to engage his services to rub out Pilar. You don't mess with La Nancy's niños.
Weeds can be seen on Showtime Monday nights at 10pm.