Rubbernecking: An Additional Ten Reality Shows I'd Like to See

05/16/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Arrrr & Arrrr - in which two teams of Somalian pirates compete for the chance to win a spa vacation at Canyon Ranch.

Bipolar Bear - in which people who are apparently out of their minds climb into polar bear exhibits in zoos all over the world.

Git Mo Gitmo - in which inmates at Guantanamo Bay are divided into teams and must execute a number of traditional reality show challenges in order to win their freedom. The host is Keifer Sutherland who is in character as Jack Bauer from 24.

Hey Bo Diddley - in which the new First Dog is equipped with a tiny camera mounted onto his cute furry head and we follow his adventures as he adjusts to his new family. Talk about transparency in government.

Deadbeat Dad - in which Levi Johnson, Chris Bosh, and others compete to see who supports their offspring the least.

Termination Tango - in which contestants find out they are being made redundant (the British term for clean out your desk, see ya) and the various ways they cope with this information. Oops I just found out Fox already optioned a show just like this. Now there's a surprise.

Big Bad John - in which Bret Michaels' gentle giant, Big John, has his pick of the skanks that Bret tossed aside on all three seasons of Rock of Love.

Lindsay Hop - in which we follow La Lohan on her merry adventures tearing through Hollywood's party scene whilst destroying thousands of brain cells.

Project Kenley - in which we're privy to the apparently strange life of Project Runway loser Kenley Collins (who recently threw her cat, among other things, at her ex-fiancee while he was sleeping). I remember Kenley as the one contestant on PR who had the stones to be unbelievably bitchy to Heidi's face.

Rod the Mod - in which Rod Blagojevich stars on his own reality show instead of appearing in an ensemble cast on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! Every week Rod recites a different Rudyard Kipling poem on the show.

Read more of Holly Cara Price's ruminations on the slings and arrows of outrageous pop culture on her website, Snoop* Du Jour.