Rubbernecking: Ten Reality TV Shows I'd Like To See

in which five sister-wives bring up a bunch of teenage kids at Yearning for Zion Ranch.
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- Superwife Swap with either Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama OR Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton OR Michelle Obama and Sarah Palin

- Jailbait Journey with Bernie Madoff in prison meeting new friends; very dark; similar to HBO's Oz

- Birdwatching in which people go through life with a large bird attached to their head and the various ways they learn to cope

- Elevator Pitch in which contestants are stuck in an elevator with Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, or George Lucas and get eight minutes to pitch their idea for a blockbuster film

- 24 Plus in which top A.I.G. Executives are obsessively followed by cellphone cameras as they go about their work and home life

- Bringing Up Baby in which Bristol Palin copes with being a single mom in Alaska and an interfering grandmother who knows it all

- Pets of the Rich and Famous in which small cameras are attached to the heads of animals belonging to famous people. Lots of shots of carpets, cat litter boxes, food bowls, and audio of celebs saying things like, 'is that my baby boy? What are you up to baby boy? Who's a good boy?'

- Real Housewives of El Dorado, Texas in which five sister-wives bring up a bunch of teenage kids at Yearning for Zion Ranch

- Gossip Woman in which female baby boomers pick apart each episode of Gossip Girl down to each minute detail while drinking dirty martinis at a bar on the upper east side

- Sugar Cat Stomp in which Drama Queens Heather Chadwell and Lacey Conner of Rock of Love are locked in a room together for seven days with nothing but donuts and coffee for sustenance

Read more of Holly Cara Price's ruminations on the slings and arrows of outrageous pop culture on her website, Snoop* Du Jour.

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