I've been suffering from a bad case of the blues ever since the New Year started. And I can't understand why I feel so low. Aren't we supposed to be excited about starting fresh in the New Year? What happened to starting the New Year off with a bang!? I mean, right at the turn of the year I finished my book proposal after countless hours of lovingly pouring my heart and soul into it, I went on a little romantic get-away, I took a whole week off of work, I celebrated my first holidays with my man ... so how could I possibly be feeling low? Oh, yeah, that's right -- I FINISHED my book proposal. I WENT on a trip. I TOOK time off. I CELEBRATED... all PAST TENSE.
I had so much build up and excitement during the holidays and leading up to 2012 that I was certain all of that energy would just carry over into the New Year and it would just get bigger and bigger. I was certain that my book proposal would immediately garner me a book deal. I was certain that my boyfriend and I would immediately move in together and get engaged like we talked about. I was certain that my career would immediately go to the next level ... I mean, how could any of these things NOT happen!? I worked hard to plant my seeds for goodness sakes!!!
I feel bummed because it seems like after all of the build-up to the New Year, I have nothing to look forward to. I feel like I did the work, and now ... nothing. I feel like I'm just waiting. And waiting sucks.
We are told to make New Year's resolutions. But what happens when we don't see the immediate results? There's all this hoopla about planting seeds and setting intentions but what happens once those seeds are planted and intentions set? What then? It's like we start the year off with a running jump and land with a big fat THUMP. We're not told throughout all the champagne and noisemakers and confetti poppers and funny fake paper top hat things that after the buildup comes the waiting.
The theme of my intenSati class this month is to step up to challenges. When I was thinking about how I was going to share with my class my own experience and challenges right now, nothing struck me. Until I got it -- my challenge right now is patience. I have to be patient in waiting for my seeds to bloom. I have done the work, I have planted the seeds, I have set my intentions. Now all I can do is wait. And waiting sucks (did I say that already?) ... And thus, the challenge.
I share this about my class because patience, I think, is the key to getting over the post-holiday, welcome-to-your-new-year slump. Trust yourself and the universe, knowing that you have, and are, truly doing everything in your power to achieve your resolutions (assuming, of course, that you ARE doing everything in your power to achieve them).
Now's the time to remember that there are cycles in life. Times of ups, times of downs. Times of rest, times of work. Times of sorrow, times of joy. Times of holidays and celebration, times of ordinary and mundane. We can't ever have one without the other. So remember, when you're wondering why you're intentions haven't manifested yet, that to everything there is a season -- a time to reap and a time to sow. You've sown. Now it's time to be patient and trust that when the time is right, you will reap all the rewards.
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You get angry and redouble your efforts and then you continue to redouble them until it becomes second nature. After you plant the seeds you have to be out there every day warding off pests and watering your crops. You need to research the vital nutrients your new plants need and you need to fight, fight, fight for that plant to survive and indeed thrive.