"The capacity for empathy is vital when working towards peace. Empathy requires that a person look past his or her own interests and perspective and come to an understanding of the other side. Peacemaking also calls us to move beyond our desire for retaliation and revenge, and focus instead on the possibilities for future reconciliation. Before we are able to accomplish these aims, we must acknowledge our wrongs and the ways in which we have been complicit in injustices and our responsibility for righting them."
"A key to Just Peacemaking generally, and to acknowledging responsibility specifically, lies in the ability to hear narratives alternative to one's own."
--From "Interfaith Just Peacemaking: Jewish, Christian and Muslim Perspectives on the New Paradigm of Peace and War," p. 69, 71-72
A few weeks ago, I took part in a gathering of Interfaith Just Peacemakers at the Boston University School of Theology, courageous women and men who focus their lives around imagining and mobilizing religious discourse as a resource for sustainable peace. As we unpacked the 10 key practices of just peacemaking, I was struck yet again by the central importance of deep listening, that is, hearing, receiving and even revering narratives that conflict with our own. And then, as I heard, one by one, the "war" stories of our peacemakers, many of whom struggled to align psychic, professional and spiritual lives, I realized too that making peace in the world around us is impossible without making peace within ourselves. One is flawed, even perilous, without the other. We cannot open up to painful alternative narratives unless we have built up the spiritual resources within ourselves to handle the existential fall-out. Have I learned to name what lies within me of anger, jealousy, vanity, arrogance, resentment and malice? I cannot make effective peace with others until I have at least acknowledged the war within myself.
Let us look at one instance of deep listening. Like the earlier legends of Solomon, the Quran tells us that the prophet Sulayman (upon him, peace) could communicate with non-human creatures. In one poignant passage, we learn:
"Gathered around Solomon were his armies of Jinn, men and birds, all in ranks. When they came to a valley of ants, an ant said: "Ants, enter your homes or Solomon and his armies will crush you without knowing." He [Solomon] smiled and laughed at her words, and said: "My Lord, inspire me that I might be thankful for the favors which you bestowed upon me and my parents, that I might do good deeds that are pleasing to you. Include me, by your mercy, among your upright worshippers." Quran al-Naml (The Ant), verses 17-18
Sulayman teaches us that we have the ability to communicate with everything around us. If we begin to listen, we may find ourselves transformed. A Jerrahi Sufi teacher told me that no lasting relationship can begin with conditions and expectations. Expectations that are foisted upon a relationship rather than arising naturally through relationship hint at an absence of real communication. (He compared this to the relationship he has with the ney, the reed flute whose virtues are most beautifully expressed in the poetry of Rumi. The expectations he has of his ney, the vessel, and that his ney has of him, the artist, arise through their loving relationship, sustained by years of commitment and a light touch. And so he need not force himself to play, it comes naturally and with pleasure.) We plant a seed of relationship, he told me, and then we put a concrete block over it and a chair, and we sit on the chair, and then we complain that the seed does not grow. Instead, we should plant the seed in a garden, water it and tend to it with love, but let it grow as it will. Don't burden the relationship with expectations; first, learn to listen.
"Listen to this ney, how it laments -- telling a tale of separations." --Rumi, Masnavi
Islam is not a badge that is worn but an ethic that is lived by. We expect to be treated well but do we do our part to nurture relationships, to listen to the other side of the story? We expect an unrealistic largeness of heart from the world around us, but do we work hard to create the trust and affection that will invite such gestures? And can we apply these principles both in our intimate and public circles: our family, our neighborhood, our political and interfaith work.
Finally, deep listening is only possible when we are working on wholeness within ourselves. Peace begins with the self, for the fractured self is the root cause of much of the trouble in our lives. Even as we heal the wounds of others, we must cultivate the ability to communicate with our own selves. Using the language of journey to speak of the deepest grounding, the Naqshbandi Sufi teachers teach the spiritual practice of safar dar vatan -- travel in the "homeland" -- the realm of our own selves. This is the journey of self-knowledge: acknowledging our brokenness, replacing our negative attributes with godly virtues and learning to love ourselves as mirrors of the divine. This journey is what grounds us so deeply within ourselves that we may begin to reach out to others in true relationship. In the contemporary language of place, Edward Relph suggests that "an empathetic and compassionate understanding of the worlds beyond our own places may be best grounded in a love of a particular place to which I myself belong."
So spend some time getting to know yourself. A valuable traditional practice for self-knowledge is muhasabah, or taking account, inspired by the Quranic verse: "You who believe! Be God-conscious, and let every soul consider carefully what it sends ahead for tomorrow; be mindful of God, for God is well aware of everything you do" (Quran al-Hashr, verse 18). Every night, take some time to sit quietly, alone, facing the qibla. Go over your day, hour by hour, and reflect on those parts of the day that you regret, where you slipped up, where you wronged someone, and where your behavior was far from just and exemplary. Don't dwell on the negative, but focus on the future: imagine how you could have changed your behavior in that moment, and then resolve to do it the next time you are faced with a challenging situation. If a wrong can be righted, plan to do it. And finally, do as the prophet Sulayman did: ask for God's inspiration, support and mercy in your journey.
May we all find just peace within us and create just peace around us. Ameen.
Religion is not the solution it is our shared humanity.
In all these interfaith discussions, we have pre mindsets, preemptive ideas, everyone has his own ground, everyone has his own history, everyone has his own salvation, and everyone has predetermination that no matter what, I am the one on the right path. You talk of the ants, true, the lesson is there if you see that there is danger, WARN OTHERS, simple. What Sulaiman did, was human, what an ant did was, save its own from the danger of being wiped out from under the feet of humans and their horses. What was the lesson; there was one ant that WARNED OTHERS OF THEIR OWN TO PROTECT THEMSELVES first. Now when the modern marching armies, under the air cover, and thunder of the guns, is danger of widespread bloodshed and miseries, death, destruction of property. for whatever reasons.
What we need in these interfaith discussions WARNERS to tell of the looming destructions that falls upon millions, we saw in Iraq, Afghanistan, & in the Middle EAST.
Learning from the ANTS, we have to have warners, and stoppers, and then we can listen more clearly, when there is PEACE for all and not for few. The Creator rewards us for our good and bad deeds. We should not loose hope. WE have among us the true warners, but others do not have the power of LISTENING of the other ants, who were saved by that ONE ANT WARNINGS.
allahu humanity & here's wishing for more global divine human laughter, one of the things that unites (and unties tribal knots) us all :3
I'm disappointed with this generation of celebrity obsessed automaton consumers.Maybe I'd be better off at an Occupy protest, living close to the bone.
While on the other hand, Satan and the conceited that followed his path mentioned "I" when being condescending or referring to superiority.
These are interesting lessons for us all to follow especially at the times of selfishness and egocentricity.
I always assume that individuals are the product of their genes, the place of their birth and their experiences in life. The people you refer to are certainly no different. A closer examination of their lives would certainly give you "answers" about why they are what they are. By referring to them as a "generation of celebrity obsessed automaton consumers" you are not "seeing the other."
This is not to say, necessarily, that communication on a deeper level would be possible even if you came to understand these people better. It is also not suggest that what they have become is necessarily good or beneficial from a societal standpoint. However, an understanding of the factors that have resulted in the present situation is surely essential when one is seeking accurate answers.
I looked up the book you mentioned and its too expensive for me to purchase. Would you have other books to recommend on peacemaking? Insha'Allah, I will reflect deeply on these words. I know I am very weak in how much I think my opinion is the only right one.
Words are used to deceive and distort, but they are also used to express ideals, still-unreached goals and models of a better future.
To reject words simply because you reject he deeds of the speaker is to employ fallacious reasoning. Imperfect individuals can still express valuable ideas. The true test of words lies in an examination of their basis in reality, their relevance and their effect - not in the deeds of the speaker.
Aspirational speeches are rarely followed by actual accomplishment. If you believe otherwise you are religious and we have nothing more to discuss. In my 7th decade of life I have some experience with both men and words and find that words may tell who the person thinks he is but not who is and how he will behave. There is an old saying in English, the proof is in the pudding.
It takes strength of character to subordinate one's emotions and interests, and give undivided attention to others (especially opposing views), and to take sincere thought for their views. Building relationships requires a good deal of effort, but its worth the development the process offers.
We tend to believe that wars are outside our control, but every good thought, word or deed feeds the universe that goodness. I don't mean it in a new age way; its like walking into a room where a fight just happened and you feel you can cut that tension with a knife. And it is so different to walk into a room where a good concert is going on and you want to dance.
Alhamdulillah for that!
If you replaced those terms with "understanding," I would be inclined to agree. It is important to understand why those we disagree with believe what they do and behave as they do.
Unfortunately, understanding is no guarantee that a resolution to conflicts will be possible. Especially in the case of religion, viewpoints can be so rigid as to be unchangeable. However, it is always useful to strip away the flawed reasoning of moral judgment in order to analyze the real causes behind conflict. While such analysis generally requires a great deal of effort, it offers the best chance of arriving at a mutually acceptable solution.
People are afraid of death and they would prefer to believe that when it's over it isn't really over,,, Over,,, OVER!!!
Done!!!
Stick-a-fork-in-it time!!!!!
So we conjure up stories and engage in these assorted rituals and traditions that we hope will insure our make-believe "souls" a favorable reservation in some kind of make-believe "afterlife" or make-believe "heaven" where we will get reunited with our beloved dead friends and relatives plus we'll get to hang and party with the god-guy/god-girl, the saints, the prophets, the angels and the other celebrities from the "holy" books and fables.
Hey, I'd like to believe that too. It's a nice story and I too have an aversion to death, but I'm realistic enough to know that It Ain't Necessarily So.
And in the back of your mind, admit it, you probably don't totally really believe it either, you're an adult. You don't really believe in occurrences that go against the laws of nature and physics. But you HOPE it's true. When people die, they are not in a "better place". They're dead. they're no where. Sorry.
The calendar may read 2012 but in many ways things haven't changed that much since 1012.
Hallelujah! (or however you spell it).
OK, back to minding my own business. :)