The Most Self-Conscious Part Of Me

I try not to let my extra bone of both of my feet bother me, but what do you do when you have to take off your shoes?

When I was young and went swimming at a friend's house, I'd always feel self-conscious because I had to take off my shoes and socks. I always hated when they said, "okay, take off your shoes now." I would cringe and feel reluctant to do so. And, honestly, I never got over it because no matter what age I was and summer came around, I was left with the decision to take off my shoes and show the world my feet or run and hide. I knew when the time came, people would stare at my extra bones--on both feet-- and wonder if I was born that way.

But, the weird thing is my right foot only has an extra bone and my foot looks fine while my left big toe on my right foot is slightly curved to the right. It looks deformed and I hate looking at it each time I wake up. I mean people have other severe deformities, but that doesn't mean I'm not as self-conscious as them. I feel the same whenever someone stops and stares at my feet when I'm wearing open-toed shoes.

I have to buy shoes wide-toed shoes so my extra bone isn't tight. Before, I used to hate wearing shoes that would show my extra bone, but as I grew up, I stopped caring as much. There was a time I was sitting at work and someone came in my office, looked down at my sandals and just stared for a second before leaving the room. Just when you think you're getting over people staring, they do it again.

When I first met my boyfriend, I refused to take off my shoes or socks and he would question it. When I finally exposed them, he didn't seem to care. In fact, he told me he liked my feet. So, it goes to show you that someone will accept you for you no matter what you look like. And, I've learned not to let people staring at my feet get to me. But, there will always be a piece of me that cares what others think--especially when it comes to my feet.