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Howard A. Rodman

Howard A. Rodman

Posted: June 16, 2009 06:45 PM

Pardon Me, Sir, But is My Eye Hurting Your Elbow?


Find my nest of salt/ Everything is my fault/ I'll take all the blame/ I'll proceed from shame... --Kurt Cobain, "All Apologies."
"My family and I are deeply sorry for everything Vice President Cheney and his family have had to deal with. We hope that he will continue to come to Texas and seek the relaxation that he deserves." --Harry Whittington, February 17, 2006.


Sorry to say, the world can be divided into two kinds of people--those who apologize, and those who don't. Among the former is David Letterman, a man so sorry he apologized to Sarah Palin twice; and Harry Whittington, above, who made a public mea culpa for placing his face in the path of Dick Cheney's buckshot and thus detracting from his relaxation.

In the meanwhile, for real men, love means never having to say you're sorry. As Donald Rumsfeld once said, "Stuff happens." This is the crowd that delights in referring to other people as apologizers. Confessers. Admitters. Every name in the sorry black book.

Hence Obama's mid-East trip became "an apology tour." WSJ says so. American Spectator says so. Mitt Romney says so.

So pervasive is this meme, so viral, that even the good gray New York Times has gotten into the act. Today David Sanger frontpaged, "[1953] was the same year that the C.I.A. organized a coup that deposed Prime Minister Mohammad Mosaddeq and installed the Shah -- a cold war operation for which Mr. Obama just publicly apologized during his speech at Cairo University last month."

I apologize in advance for having to disagree with Mr. Sanger--but Obama didn't apologize for the 1953 coup. Instead, the President simply stated a fact: "In the middle of the Cold War, the United States played a role in the overthrow of a democratically elected Iranian government."

Now "played a role" is in this context a wild understatement. Still: Obama's not apologizing for it. He's acknowledging it.

The outlines are beginning to form: to speak the truth about the past is an inherently apologetic act. To speak the truth about the past in a speech is to publicly apologize. And the sin of apologizing is not expiated until the apologizer apologizes for the apology.

The whole idea is to make your victim apologize to you--it's the Whittington Syndrome writ large. Case in point: a website devoted to the proposition that Letterman won't really make things right until he apologizes a third time.

Will Obama apologize for publicly apologizing in Cairo? Will the wise Latina Sonia Sotomayor apologize for using the phrase "wise Latina"?

Only apologists never apologize.

(title h/t to the fine 1968 anthology of short screenplays)

Find my nest of salt/ Everything is my fault/ I'll take all the blame/ I'll proceed from shame... --Kurt Cobain, "All Apologies." "My family and I are deeply sorry for everything Vice Presiden...
Find my nest of salt/ Everything is my fault/ I'll take all the blame/ I'll proceed from shame... --Kurt Cobain, "All Apologies." "My family and I are deeply sorry for everything Vice Presiden...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
silverball
10:44 AM on 06/21/2009
...as colbert said...."truth has a liberal bias".....since when is the truth a BAD thing???...we DEMAND it of others.....why don't we (especially the faux news entertainers/crowd) recognize truth as a STRENGTH, not a weakness....and yet they love to spew how important the "truth" is and that only "they" are the purveyors of it...UNBELIEVABLE!!!! ...and EVERY international speech by president obama is an apology????...WTF!!! ....only when we speak the TRUTH will they begin to listen (as is beginning to happen!!!)..otherwise they see/hear it as only more of the same of the past administration.....i think they are very tired of our "do as we say...not as we do"....talk about being HYPOCRITICAL......
11:40 PM on 06/18/2009
My first comment didn't make it? We'll try again.

Still need to point out that you are misquoting Cobain. And again, that's sad because it's easy to check song lyrics. And that makes it more sad since you lead your piece with something that was never said.
11:46 PM on 06/21/2009
You're not expecting an apology, are you? ;-)
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08:22 AM on 06/18/2009
Prescient title to your article, Mr. Rodman. It's reported that Hillary Clinton just broke her elbow.
02:41 AM on 06/18/2009
"Only apologists never apologize". lol - so true!!!
08:25 PM on 06/17/2009
The "pain" of an aggressor is always greater. When "wronged" they simply won't let it go. Feigning indignation while unapologetically offending others is the name of the game.
03:21 PM on 06/17/2009
Terrific insight.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cigi
01:23 PM on 06/17/2009
We did what we did in Iran under the Eisenhower administration...facts are facts, accept it or live in a delusional world. Truman was approached by Britain while in office to join this overthrow of a properly elected government...the British were sore about their lack of success in Iran previously inluencing their postion of power. Truman refused! We put the Shah in and he ran his own brand of dictatorship and torture for years. If this had happened in our country, we would be crying FOUL forever, so we should humbly accept that we do not always make the best decisions diplomatically and sometimes we align ourselves with the "wrong" side....Saddam Hussein is another good example, helping the Taliban in Afghanistan defeat the Russians...we, as a country are not always correct or right. We are not infallible. Get over it folks, not all things are pure in politics or diplomacy.
02:13 PM on 06/17/2009
"...so we should humbly accept that we do not always make the best decisions diplomatically and sometimes we align ourselves with the "wrong" side..."

Accepted!
09:13 PM on 06/17/2009
Learn your history, the Taliban had nothing to do with the Russians being defeated, they came about after the Soviets withdrew from the country.
01:08 PM on 06/17/2009
I feel for Mr. Letterman. He was stung by the irresistibleness of the low hanging fruit Mrs. Palin represents as a punch line. I hope he is taking the lesson to heart. Do not legitimize the illegitimate by even mentioning their name. Since the election, it is rare that I chime in on Mrs. Palin. Why? Because the jury came in on her already in my court of opinion and she was found guilty of not being fit to lead. Thus, she now resides on the trash heap of election trivia and not the doorstep of greatness, promise, or potential...such that she is a consideration for a brighter tomorrow. One need only look to her institutional supporters (Fox) to know -- Sarah ain’t right. I make no apologies for this assessment.

Of one thing I am very certain, unless Mrs. Palin goes through some unimaginable (at this juncture) process of transformation, that causes her to discard the divisive nonsensical hate-speak that was oozing from her mouth during the campaign, it will be America that is sorry if she ever rises to power. It will be America who will need to apologize for the Palin elbow in the American eye, and the Palin stiletto heel in the American hindquarters -- you know, that potential future self-inflicted assault on the heart and soul of a nation.

Mr. Letterman erred. He apologized. Mrs. Palin has yet to apologize for numerous things she said during the campaign.
11:49 AM on 06/17/2009
I am sorry - but would it be inappropriate to say "Beautifully done, sir"..
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
oregonideas
11:17 AM on 06/17/2009
in my yearsof teaching I always refused to accept "forced" apologies from students.....and, let's face it, most apologies are just that...and, often, the person uses that wonderful qualifier, "gee, I'm sorry if something I said offended anyone".......used extensively by Southern Republican politicians after they've made an egregious racist remark.

Letterman's joke was in poor taste.....we all know that. However, if late night hosts refrained from jokes and comments someone would think are in poor taste, the shows would be very short. If folks can't find anything more important than this to stir their ire, we're really in pretty good shape.
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kitkatborn
10:24 AM on 06/17/2009
And the circle goes round again.
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
AnnfromCA
10:11 AM on 06/17/2009
The first apology wasn't one. Never apologize until you mean it. The second apology was authentic.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
YellowDogInRedCounty
Mongo mere pawn in game of life
02:04 PM on 06/17/2009
And should not only be enough but should put this whole ridiculous episode to rest.
02:10 PM on 06/17/2009
neither was warranted, it was for ratings.

never apologize to anyone without a soul, or anyone working against your own country.
09:51 AM on 06/17/2009
Letterman is a representative of CBS, and hasn't been on top of his game for probably two decades. I'm sure CBS execs have had a little something to do with this apology business. I think he should have rescinded his first apology after Palin pulled her usual "victim" ploy. I think it's just a design for media attention. Everyone involved is milking the situation.
02:10 PM on 06/17/2009
letterman was never even close to the top of the game, same with Leno and especially carson.
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04:32 PM on 06/17/2009
If you are talking about real late night "talk" shows, Jack Paar was the best. What we have now are late night "comedy" shows where a few people show up to hawk their books and movies.
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HUFFPOST PUNDIT
PresidentRobertBooth
09:50 AM on 06/17/2009
I apologise when I'm wrong.


Which is why I've never apologised for anything yet.
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Roses
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.
02:18 PM on 06/17/2009
How about for what you just said?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thehuff
09:31 AM on 06/17/2009
Mr. Rodman, I'm certain your blog must have offended someone; best you start writing your apology now.