The hangover could be settling in earlier than expected for ABC's Mixology, the show about what happens to 10 singles over the course of a single night out in New York City. After pilot aired last week, the Internet erupted with negative reviews about everything from the quality of the jokes to the fact that Bruce needs a better wig stylist (or a haircut). Given audience reactions, and the fact that ABC has zero qualms about cutting off a show mid-stream (remember The Assets from January? Didn't think so), it might seem more appropriate to place odds on just how long this show will run. But watching people try and fail at dating is still way more entertaining. So here we go (ahem, for now).
This week Liv and Ron get the backstory-via-flashback treatment, and Jessica decides to stick around for one more drink, only to get a weird bathing proposal from Bruce. And the rest of the gang continues their hunt for whatever it is they're looking for tonight (Love? To smash? A decent drink?)
Let's look at their odds:
Liv: She's pretty, she's sweet, her voice could shatter a lowball glass. She's played it safe her entire life and, in our opinion, tonight will be no different. Sure, she'll flirt with the idea of having a drink with Ron. She'll even go through with the idea of having a drink with Ron. But not everyone on the show can have an against-type relationship at the end, and by our count we've already got Tom & Maya and Jessica & Dominic (see below) asking for each other's breakfast orders. But sure, for the rest of the night she'll engage in flirtatious banter, talk about how her heart is pitter-pattering, and marvel at how Ron doesn't just laugh, he "lawghs." But she'll continue to get sappy texts from her fiancé Jim about tonight's episode of Devious Maids and realize that's the kind of yawn-inducing stability she actually craves. Plus, her wedding invitations do go out in the morning.
Odds of hooking up tonight: 2
Ron: Born to terrible parents who were the "life of the party," we learn Ron has basically got through life not by any concrete ability or talent, but by fooling people into giving him things. Maybe he should have tried his hand at his own reality show rather than venturing into the start-up world. After making a great first impression with Jessica when he threw up in her purse, we see him seemingly strike out again with Liv and then spend the rest of the episode sitting by himself in random corners talking mostly to his glass, like any respectable drunk would. While Liv manages to flag him down just as he's giving up, she's way too mild to do anything to keep his attention. If this show stays true to terrible stereotypes, Ron will lose interest and energy halfway through this hard-fought drink and head home alone.
Odds of hooking up tonight: 5
Jessica: Rounding out the cast of hopefuls is Jessica, our token single mom who finally got a night out away from the kids, so let's do this! After mysteriously ditching her sister from the last episode, we find Jessica ready to call it quits, trying to close her tab at the bar. "Just once I'd like a guy to tell me I look nice in this dress" she laments to our favorite cocktail waitress, Kacey, who immediately claims they have everything in common and tells her all about hooking up with the hot bartender. Sisters! In the end, Jessica's convinced to stick around for one more round by a single line delivered by said hot bartender, Dominic. What magical line gets Jessica to put another mojito on her friend's tab? "You should stick around. You look great in that dress." Huzzah! Is it fate, or is he just good at eavesdropping? Either way, we kind of see these two hitting it off.
She then fends off a bizarre pickup line from Bruce involving baths, orgasms, and a reference to plastic sheets with an apt "Who are you?" Queue segue to episode three.
Odds of hooking up tonight: 6