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Ibrahim Abdul-Matin

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A Muslim American's Thoughts on Gay Marriage

Posted: 06/27/11 11:21 AM ET

When you are a compassionate person, you also fight against injustice.

As a Muslim, I have always been taught to be compassionate.

When I was about 15 years old and lived in upstate New York, I was part of a track club. This club, a group of high school runners, competed during the school year and through the summer. Our coach was a man from the Bronx who brought us to competitions in New York City. My mother lived in NYC at the time (and still does) and once accompanied us to a competition as a chaperone. We drove there, in a van, my mother and coach sitting in the front seats. The drive had us passing the Gay Pride Parade, which none of us were aware was happening that day.

At the time I was a young, naive, somewhat ignorant youth which included being homophobic. These were also the characteristics of a number of the other young athletes in the van. Gawking out the windows, we made jokes, laughed, expressed dismay -- and did so loudly and crudely.

My mother then turned around and snapped at us, "What you're doing is exactly what happened to black people 30 years ago!"

The van was quiet. For the rest of the ride through the Pride parade, we were silent and thinking about what she said. Most of us came from working and middle class black families where the lessons and stories of the civil rights and black liberation movements were fully integrated into our understanding of the world. For me, that same story was intertwined with the freedom of religion that is intrinsic to the American experience. Were it not for that basic principle, then I would not be the man I am -- following a religion of my own choosing.

This brings me to today. This weekend, the New York State legislature approved gay marriage in an eleventh hour push that brought people to the streets of New York City and set up yesterday's Gay Pride Parade as a celebration of years of pushing and overcoming the failed promises of two Governors (Eliot Spitzer and David Patterson).

As someone that is part of two minority groups in the United States (Muslims and African-Americans) I feel that this ruling is a victory for all of us. Majorities in the country have attempted to define the American experience in limited and controlled terms. To be American means you need to be white, Christian, and of course, straight. There is nothing further from the truth. To be American and to enjoy the rights and privileges therein you simply have to live here and pay taxes. This is a diverse nation and to limit the rights of one group opens the potential to limit your rights.

 

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When you are a compassionate person, you also fight against injustice. As a Muslim, I have always been taught to be compassionate. When I was about 15 years old and lived in upstate New York, I wa...
When you are a compassionate person, you also fight against injustice. As a Muslim, I have always been taught to be compassionate. When I was about 15 years old and lived in upstate New York, I wa...
 
 
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08:24 AM on 08/14/2011
For the Author: For those who accept Islam it is essential to note attributin­g to Islam what it isn’t, is really a grave sin and it can’t be overemphas­ized (“bed’at”)­. Men having sex with men, is definitely against Islam (Q 7:80-81, 26:165-166­, 11:82-83) and a very big sin, while changing gender is not. Either one accepts Islam or not; but by altering it to what it isn't a genuine way of attaining unimaginab­le heights of existence is tampered with badly. Islam is submission to will of God, not submitting God to will of man.
Islam is what it is, and God doesn't need our help "correcting" his teachings. Peace, assalmo aleikom.
08:17 AM on 08/14/2011
In Islam the criterion for distinguishing between right or wrong is developed by following Qur’an. Islam is a way to attain continuing, never ending growth for individual and society. According to a master of Islamic experience, everyone has a mirror that reflects truth and ultimate reality. Any sin puts a dark spot on the mirror. Too much too intense sins darken the mirror completely, making it not to reflect and blurs distinguishing between right and wrong. Whatever is regarded as wrong in Islam has some awful impact on individual or society. and both are are very important in Islam and what is not right shouldn't be openly practiced, so as to avoid wrong to become mainstream and losing its state of taboo. For those who accept Islam it is essential to note attributing to Islam what it isn’t is really a grave sin and it can’t be overemphasized (“bed’at”). Men having sex with men, is definitely against Islam (Q 7:80-81, 26:165-166, 11:82-83) and a very big sin, while changing gender is not. Either one accepts Islam or not; but by altering it to what it isn't a genuine way of attaining unimaginable heights of existence is tampered with badly. Islam is submission to will of God, not submitting God to will of man. Having said that, God doesn't want to force anyone into accepting him and it is worthless to believe unless out of free will (Q 2:256).
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Neenerpuss
If you cant laugh at yourself...someone else will
01:28 AM on 07/08/2011
The hard part is already over. We are out of the closet. We form relationship, not that we didnt before, we just dont hide them anymore. We even (gasp!) apply for bank loans to buy homes together. We mow the lawn, take the garbage out, clean the gutters, do the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking care of each other in good times and bad. We are commited couples and we live next door. The only thing left is the kicking and screaming of people saying "but we dont approve"...and the time for that is coming to a close too.

Peace be with you.
10:47 AM on 07/06/2011
The article makes huge attempt to please the minority of gay population. Islam does not approve of gay society. Remember the people of Lot and how Sodom was turned upside down?

Being Gay is not crime and Islam doesn't consider these people as different from normal human being. But it doesnt approve of it and want this dis orientation to be cured. If we can cure several dieseases why not work on this and try to find cure for it? In any case everybody has the rights to live their life they want, but do you want to live a life that is not approved by the creator of heavens and earths?

Peace be unto you.
10:11 AM on 08/17/2011
There has always been gays, however rarely they have been openly gay. Gays can continue in whatever they do in private, however when it comes to public, they are in the domain of society, Islam, among many others, regards this an excessive act that is against the benefit of both individual and society.If a Muslim writer knowingly enjoins the doing of what is wrong, they run the chance of being among hypocrites (9:67 The hypocrites, both men and women. are all of a kind: they enjoin the doing of what is wrong and forbid the doing of what is right and withhold their hands [from doing good]. They are oblivious of God, and so He is oblivious of them. Verily, the hypocrites-it is they, they who are truly iniquitously). I hope the author has written this unknowingly, and thus writes a researched correcting article, otherwise he should be prepared to be criticized as a hypocrite.
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MohammedAbbasi
Co-Director, Association of British Muslims
09:10 PM on 06/30/2011
Excellent article Ibrahim, sharing this and fanned :)
09:17 AM on 08/17/2011
If an apparent Muslim enjoins the doing of what is wrong, they run the chance of being among hypocrites (9:67).
11:46 PM on 06/28/2011
Your mother sounds like a great lady.
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jones
Dances with Weims
09:35 PM on 06/28/2011
I'll have to tell my 83 year old /cathoilic mom about your article. She is still having a hard time with the idea of gay marriage although she is quite a liberal.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
emulsifier
I love the whole world, boom-de-ahda, boom-de-ahda
02:30 PM on 06/28/2011
One's religions convictions should not halt someone elses' rights. It is under the same constitution that religious individuals are allowed to exercise their rights.

Gay rights should have been a non-issue in a secular country. Plain and simple. Religious folks should keep their yapper shut about it lest they lose their own rights to practice.
11:29 PM on 06/28/2011
unfortunately a VAST majority of Americans don't realize we live in a secular country.........
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abudotcom
“Good manners will open doors
12:08 PM on 06/28/2011
Thank you for your article. My sentiments exactly.
11:32 AM on 06/28/2011
As a Muslim let me state that Ibrahim's opinions are valid but also slightly misguided. As a Muslim we should not support the oppression of anyone and if you want to use that as your justification for allowing gay marriage that is fine. I don't see why they should not have the right to marry in non-religious, secular state, which is what the US is. That said I won't say that homosexuality is right, natural, and not a sin because it clearly is according to Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. But, if your not going to be religious enough to ban interest why not allow gay marriage.
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Ibrahim Abdul-Matin
Author of Green Deen
05:48 PM on 06/28/2011
explain to me again how my comments are misguided?
06:59 PM on 06/28/2011
Well you make it seem, if only by the title, that it is something which is ok and acceptable according to Islam. Homosexuality is a sin, it was the reason the people of Lot wear destroyed. That is it, as far as allowing it in the US which is a non-religious country I agree that it might as well be allowed.
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Richbruin
We'll walk this world together through the storm
12:44 AM on 06/29/2011
I'll tell you but evidently you are moderating your own thread and aren't man enough to post it and debate the subject.
02:06 AM on 06/28/2011
I look at every human as equal, regardless of their race, lifestyle or religious convictions. But where spiritual conviction is concerned, there will be disagreements on some matters. Noone should be forced to live by another's convictions. If one is practicing their faith and it's contrary to another's, that is not discrimination, it's religious freedom. It's important to realize that scriptures of Christians, Muslims and Jews, all forbid the practice of homosexuality. So religious conviction should not be interpreted as intolerance. If people are forced to embrace beliefs that are contrary to their convictions, that is religious discrimination. How is that any more right than any other type of discrimnation? It's not right but religious freedom is now being destroyed under the cloak of intolerance. If law demands tolerance for homosexuality as a lifestyle, there needs to also be understanding for those that can't adhere to it spiritually. Disagreeing is not discriminating, and to discriminate and persecute devout Christians, Muslims and Jews is as intolerant as any other discrimination. We should not force tolerance on someone, to only be intolerant of their rights.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
09:01 AM on 06/28/2011
Your 'right to swing your arm' ends at my nose. It's not 'religious discrimination' to say you're defaming people, or to prevent you from reducing classes of people from 'sinful lifestyles' and consider it being 'forced to accept people you don't like' if you aren't allowed to use the government to enforce your belief you have a right to harm people you call 'sinners'.
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Misterioso Adversario
THE THIRST MUTILATOR!
11:02 AM on 06/28/2011
How exactly are people with strong religious convictions being forced to accept it? They don't have to accept it, agree with it, or even like it. Its not like the government is forcing religious people to line up and marry someone of the same sex, so there is really no argument here.

As far as "its not discrimination its just my beliefs", that is a little silly. There are plenty of people who realize there is no rational reason to deny same sex couples the same rights as everyone else.
11:31 PM on 06/28/2011
If all the people in a religion can't agree on this, what business do those who are against it have, trying to push it on everyone else?

Gay people are citizens. If some citizens have a right to marry someone they love, all citizens have that right. Somebody else's beliefs about it don't even matter.
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MyNameIsKarsten
...sounds like Chewbacca when he yawns.
12:03 AM on 06/28/2011
I applaud you, Mr. Abdul-Matin. I believe Islam still has an incredibly long way to go when it comes to gay rights, but you just did your part with that fantastic article. Let's hope you made a couple of people think...
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Fran Jaime
Yo Soy 132!
10:50 PM on 06/27/2011
Beautiful post written from a generous heart.
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Fran Jaime
Yo Soy 132!
10:29 PM on 06/27/2011
A little belated but : Congratulations New York!
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reader1
Interested in the world
06:11 PM on 06/27/2011
Don't be upset with me because I choose to have a different opinion on this subject than you. I am Muslim, proud of it, but not to be judgemental, no matter what your belief system is, it is your right to believe the way you wish to believe. However, don't condemn me because I choose to believe not the way yo believe. This is what makes us all individuals. Stay off the attack mode Skeptical!!!!
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Misterioso Adversario
THE THIRST MUTILATOR!
09:25 PM on 06/27/2011
You are allowed to have your own opinions, but not your own facts. Likewise laws should be based on rationality and logic, not archaic ideas from thousands of years a go. If you want to think its wrong by all means, go ahead and hold an opinion that is contrary to the results of every scientific field of study relating to the subject, just don't expect people to accept it.
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kodimirpal
teacher
02:32 AM on 06/28/2011
What do you mean by rationalty and logic? Are you basing it on medical science and doctors' recommendations? here is what a doctor says about anal sex for instance.

What about infection? Most sexual activities carry a risk of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) from gonorrhoea and herpes to hepatitis B and HIV. There is evidence that anal intercourse carries a higher transmission risk than almost any other sexual activity.

The main health risks, which affect both heterosexual and homosexual couples, are described below.

Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV): there is no doubt that anal intercourse carries a greater risk of transmission of HIV - the virus that can cause acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) -

Hepatitis A (infectious hepatitis): this is a viral infection that can cause jaundice and abdominal pain.
Hepatitis C: is a cause of progressive and sometimes fatal chronic liver disease. Hepatitis C may be transmitted by anal intercourse,

Escherichia coli (E. coli): may sometimes cause mild to severe, or even (rarely) fatal, gastroenteritis. Anal intercourse can facilitate this ‘transfer’ – particularly if it is immediately followed by vaginal intercourse.

Do you call these as illogical and irrational?

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sexandrelationships/analsex.htm
04:56 PM on 07/04/2011
If your beliefs are not backed up by evidence, which they definitely are not, we have every right to scrutinize and challenge your beliefs. Religion should not get a free pass from criticism.