The Problem With Thinking

Sometimes I feel like the chatter in my head can fill Yankee Stadium. Friends and mentors have tried to help with the Snap Out of It! approach, instructing me in rather loud, startling tones to stop thinking so much. Love the concept, but it's not so easy.

I've always overanalyzed situations growing up. I was a psych major for that very reason. Well, that plus four years of free therapy. Women are famous for over-thinking, obsessing about "Why didn't he call?" or "Should I buy these shoes?" Or "I hate these shoes I bought but all I can think about is why didn't he call!"

Okay, we're deeper and smarter than that. But now we're told our best decisions are NOT made in our heads, and that we simply can't think through our problems. I've actually had one friend tell me to make decisions from my Vahoohoo (her word, not mine!), but that's just bizarre.

Life coach Kristina Leonardi puts it this way: "Our guts and hearts are like hard drives, our minds the software. We need to let our centers do the heavy lifting and lead the way. But like any other muscle, you need to exercise love, intuition and trust in yourself on a regular basis. Then, little by little you grow stronger and more confident in order to let that part of you run the show, instead of your brain."

Just listening to her say that makes me feel better and lighter. So, I recently attended Leonardi's support group for people in career transition. They all had the same issue: ruminating about their next professional move.

Ahem. I've been there before.

Eckhart Tolle says, "Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don't realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it's considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from being. It also creates a false mind-made self that casts a shadow of fear and suffering."

Enough with the chatter, he says. He justifies this advice with smart arguments: Thought is only a tiny aspect of our intelligence. It does not and should not rule the day. "All the things that truly matter -- beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace -- arise from beyond the mind."

Jesus, is he gifted or what? Credit Oprah for this guy. That woman knows how to find 'em.

Leonardi explains that becoming totally present allows us to know what feels right as a next step at any given moment. To get there, she recommends doing the following at least once a week:

• Do something physical, preferably an activity that requires some concentration and skill, or even simple manual labor.

• Be creative with your hands: paint, knit, cook or throw pottery.

• Journal to get the thoughts out of your head and out onto the paper.

• Play with animals or small children.

• Disconnect from technology and spend time in nature.

These are all doable ideas, yes? So today, I'm going to sun it up at a friend's pool, not thinking about what I should be doing tomorrow.

Instead, I'll concentrate on my breaststroke ... and lead with my heart.

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Comments

[thevisigoth]

06:09 PM on 08/11/2010

So true. I agree on the physical activity. It still amazes me at how relaxing it is when you let your body take over. Even though the Eckhart Tolle quotes are generally true, I wouldn't praise him or Oprah. Self-help books are just another way of thinking too much instead of actually doing what you know within yourself that you need to do. To be more than a bit hypocritical I would recommend Marcus Aurelius to everyone who hasn't yet read him. I believe he even states his belief that he needs to stop reading so much and live a more natural life.

[cheryl tobin]

10:37 PM on 08/10/2010

Totally agree!!! I have never been happier and I"m getting better at catching myself thinking useless thoughts which are around 90% of my thoughts. It's like a whole new world when you are just present and aware. I'm not an expert, I'm just an alert observer and accept this moment as it is and that is all I need to do. Thanks Eckhart Tolle and other teachers of silence.

[khanti]

09:34 PM on 08/10/2010

I like your article. I too had this chatter many years ago but had solved this problem since. There is a way to deal with all these mental chatters. I believe you have done or are doing meditation. The chatter comes very loud when you try to sit and focus. The mind besides traveling to the past and future, suddenly musical tune will come in and just play continuosly.
I would just me mindful of my breath but it is a short attention span before being caught up with a train of thoughts. Then I would just let the thoughts come and go one by one without catching it(like opening a file and not reading the contents). Everytime I get caught in one I will break off and return to my breathing. Then return to observing those rising and fading thouights.
For the musical tune I just make a wish to let go and then wait for it to die down. After sometime of practice the mind become more relax, calmer and sharper especially when out of the meditative state. The discriminating mind is actually habitual and often egoistic like arguing with someone over differences in opinion just like in some of the comments made.

[FBuchan]

12:34 PM on 08/10/2010

Another great way to clear your mind if you have kids, or access to one under 5, is let them make up the rules to any given board-game. They simplify something like Monopoly wonderfully, often down to, "I get the money, and you get those houses, and I buy them." Or, my favourite, "You can play with the board, daddy." Thinking isn't so relevant then.