THE BALLOON BOY: THE BEST JOKES OF THE WEEK
Our new iPhone App "This Just In" gives you ten-fifteen topical jokes a day AS THEY HAPPEN. You can click on the link and get it at the app store. BUT we love HuffPo, so we're going to share our jokes with you every day...
Just to catch up with last week...
People ask: "Hey, what did you guys do for the Balloon Boy?"
Interesting -- we began getting jokes the minute the story hit. Many of them were sent to me with the email header: "May god strike me down if this kid is dead..." But we made jokes anyway!!! To save room, just imagine the setup for each of the following is: "A six year old boy is floating across Colorado in a homemade balloon..."
Authorities speculate that the boy is headed to Pennsylvania, to pick up the Gosselin kids. -- Laurie Kilmartin
Upon landing, there was no child found inside. Michael Jackson snagged this prime meat from the heavenly clouds. -- Michael Notarile
The family of the young boy feared to be floating away in a homemade weather balloon previously appeared on "Wife Swap." I wonder if it was hard to find a Mom who disagreed with the idea that a six-year-old should fly solo at high altitude in a giant JiffyPop container? -- Ann Cohen
Finally an answer to the question "who could possibly make Britney Spears look like a responsible parent?" -- Dylan Love
AFTER the incident, our writers followed up with:
The media is beginning to ask whether the Balloon Boy's father is a reality TV vet desperate for money to get by. This would end up being no news at all, as in October 2009 this describes 99% of Americans.-- Dan Telfer
Little Falcon faces punishment from parents, and a lawsuit from Pixar.
The latest news is the father who claimed his son was carried away by a hot air balloon is a publicity hound. it's nice to hear ''hot air'' and ''publicity hound'' and it's not a story about Rush Limbaugh. - Nick Siracuse
The balloon boy threw up on both the Today Show and Good Morning America. At least someone in the family has good judgment. -- Becky Kershman
And that's just a sample of the kind of stuff you get with "This Just In."
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Craig Alan Silverman: Sheriff Jim Saves Chistmas, Guns and Solves Heene Balloon Hoax
When Falcon let loose the truth on prime time to Wolf Blitzer, even Barney Fife could have figured it out. By his own admission, that was the first moment the light came on for local Sheriff Jim Alderden.
Jim Watkins: Falcon's Aftermath: The Danger Was on the Ground
I would call in child protective services to look into the greedy, selfish, publicity-grasping response by the mother and dad to the whole thing, a response that clearly borders on being abusive.
Warren Holstein: Five Non-Balloon Boy Hoaxes the Media Missed
Buggy Boy: Lancaster's own little Amish 5-year-old Jebediah Junior's romp with a cart full of freshly packed pickled preserves ending in a bone-rattling crash into Elder Silas's windmill.
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I learned about the story by accident.
Well, if that's just a sample of the kind of stuff you get with "This Just In" I shan't be troubling it.
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